Starvation Conquers

From when I lived in a flat with 11 other females, of which I didn't get on with 10...

Alone in her room, the child sits
Scared.
Longing for things she feels she'll never get.
For peace,
Love,
An everlasting warmth.
Its impossible to see

 

 

How to go on, when the world outside
Resembles blood thirsty beasts,
Swarming,
Heckling.
More than a comfy bed of roses.

 

 

Females bitching - shrieking,
Males laughing - howling.
Sleep stopped for fear of the predators.
She weeps,
Tears flow,
Like streams, but sometimes more.

 

 

When silence prevails, she steps
Carefully, cautiously, over the threshold
Into a territory that scares her, leaves her
Intimidated.
Where food should be a necessity,
She sees it as a pleasure.
Starving, she scavenges, mouse-like round the cupboards.
Then scurries back to her room.

 

 

In search of love she looks for friends,
But the silence shows the failure.
Alone
She sits,
Empty.

She satisfies her hunger while she is out,
But whilst at home
Starvation conquers.

Reviews

[Lady Muck]

there's a bit of contradiction in the last stanza. If the world is harsh and threatening how can she feed when she is out? Where is it that she feeds in comfort? Where is her safe place? Otherwise excellent, well paced and much better control than before, I like the progression from a child to a mouse, could you make more of this?

kisses

[Leah Simone]

Starving, she scavenges, mouse-like round the cupboards.
Then scurries back to her room.


For me -- those two lines are the most powerful ones in the poem. I think you take too long to get there. I would suggest you shorten how the outside world is scary and lengthen her timid behavior that sneaks food when no one is looking. It is as if you are saying - "if I don't deserve to live amongst the people in this world as an equal, then why would they be willing to share their food with me? I am not one of them - I am a pest, a small varmit that should not be seen."

If you think you are a mouse, then you don't need much food. You don't eat at the table, you don't eat in front of people. You eat tiny crumbs they left behind when they are not around, just tiny bites - so tiny you hope they never notice.

I think the comparison of yourself to a mouse could work for you in expressing this situation.

Of course, I think you are beautiful young woman that is NOT a mouse and when your heart realizes it isn't a mouse but a princess- like the little swan that thought it was a duck- you will see you do deserve to eat whatever you please, whatever will keep you healthy and happy, and full of energy so you can do anything and everything your heart desires, because food is not pleasure --we enjoy pleasing our sense of touch, smell, and taste. That is the true pleasure of eating -it isn't the chewing and swallowing, but smelling, tasting, touching - feeding our senses and knowing we are giving our body something it needs. When you feed yourself like you think a princess would eat - a beautiful, healthy princess - taking her time to savor each bite - choosing things that will nourish her body, and even eating from lovely dishes in the company of others -- celebrating one of many ways she pampers herself. When you choose to be a princess instead of a mouse, you will start to become that princess in the eyes of others.

[Cdnsurfer]

You should feel more confident. This is much better now. Once you free yourself from the need to be bound by rhyme you can let the words flow easier. Good job. ;-)

Rob