Making The Green One Red.

Making The Green One Red.

A Story by Gillzy
"

A story in 100 words or less.

"

James looks out the window into the dark world, ironically lit brightly with the morning glow from the sun. He watches his gorgeous son run up the street to the house, after a sleep-over with a school mate.
James looks at his hands and wonders what he'll tell his son.
"Daddy just got… angry."
He turns to the sink and scrubs at his hands to wash away the red.
The front door opens to a quiet house,
"I'm home mum, dad. Are we going to the zoo?", a pause, "Mum? Dad?"
Only daddy would answer.

© 2008 Gillzy


My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Featured Review

This is pretty good, for only a hundred words. It's pretty well written and I like the content. eventhough I can't stand the father for abusing the child's mother and then killing her at that! I hate domestic violence...

Well anyways, I really enjoyed this.

Nice job.:)

Posted 17 Years Ago


4 of 4 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is well done for such a short piece. I love all the hidden meaning - the title - refering to innocence (green) lost, the father looking out into the 'dark' world its all done so well and in such a short time. You really make every word count especially in the beginning of this. Good job.

Posted 17 Years Ago


yes Cdnsurfer is right...a disturbing piece...which I will like to see you develop into a bigger story line :)

Posted 17 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is good. tells a lot in 100 words. kinda reminds me of my story "Working Out" in a way, with the washing away the red at the sink. : )

Posted 17 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Hey Gillzy. 100 words. Dark and disturbing piece, but raises lots of questions. Make me want to know more. Good job.

Posted 17 Years Ago


4 of 4 people found this review constructive.

This is pretty good, for only a hundred words. It's pretty well written and I like the content. eventhough I can't stand the father for abusing the child's mother and then killing her at that! I hate domestic violence...

Well anyways, I really enjoyed this.

Nice job.:)

Posted 17 Years Ago


4 of 4 people found this review constructive.


Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

312 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Added on August 7, 2008

Author

Gillzy
Gillzy

Scotland, United Kingdom



About
Things I have realised: My mother really is the best friend I'll ever have. Too much alcohol causes some people to be something they aren't, and that includes myself. That love, no matter wha.. more..

Writing
The Theory The Theory

A Story by Gillzy