Survival Of The Sharpest

Survival Of The Sharpest

A Poem by Gillzy
"

The mundane life of a dart (or me...?).

"

-Whoosh-
-Thud-
-Pluck-

-Whoosh-
-Thud-
-Pluck-

My body free,
I move with ease.
I'm free
I'm FREE
I'M -Thud-
My life to flash before me,
Would cause dizziness throughout.
Flash.. Of nothing?
Me - with no point -
A pointless existence indeed.
I see the same things
Day through.
Hear the same sounds
Night long.
All I do is
-Thud-

My journey ends.
I'm on the board.

My head shakes, as per,
When -Pluck-
I'm jolted from my cushion.
Awoken into a realm
Where others are in control.
Passed from person to person.
No connections ever made.

Until -Whoosh-
I'm free.
But -Thud-

My journey ends.
I'm getting bored.

© 2008 Gillzy


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Featured Review

Hey giz, weel done, really enjoyed this one. I think we all feel like this at times (u know my predicament at teh moment lol)

Great metaphors used - "I�m jolted from my cushion" - I really enjoyed this one cuz it can show how we are always taken away from our comfort zone.

Things will get better.

xxx

Posted 17 Years Ago


5 of 5 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Cool write. Love it when you throw new ideas around. Thats what the WC is all about. All I can say is Bullseye!

Posted 17 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

haha ha I love this piece especially the ending.....

My journey ends.
I�m getting bored.

:) you're very clever



Posted 17 Years Ago


4 of 4 people found this review constructive.

i imagine that it's the thoughts of a clever pet as it looks at it's life. a pet cat that does tricks and wonders why, or a well trained budgie that wants to escape. or perhaps it's a person, used to performing for the world and wondering what if...?
well constructed, especially the breaks taht signifiy movement. they don't inturude into the flow, rather, they enhance the experience.
great work.

Posted 17 Years Ago


5 of 5 people found this review constructive.

Hey giz, weel done, really enjoyed this one. I think we all feel like this at times (u know my predicament at teh moment lol)

Great metaphors used - "I�m jolted from my cushion" - I really enjoyed this one cuz it can show how we are always taken away from our comfort zone.

Things will get better.

xxx

Posted 17 Years Ago


5 of 5 people found this review constructive.

Great metaphors........comparisons to a dart bring thrown and handled
as we often are through life..............loved the

-Whoosh-
-Thud-
-Pluck-

Making it a real feeling and imagary wonderful.



Posted 17 Years Ago


6 of 6 people found this review constructive.

I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. Clever metaphor for life's unpredictability and fleeting moments of freedom/life. I do think you're starting to hit your rhythm with prose poetry. Well done. Rob

Posted 17 Years Ago


6 of 6 people found this review constructive.

A nice little piece, with good imagery. "Where others are in control, passed from person to person". There are so many ways to read into that line from a metaphorical view. Good write!

Posted 17 Years Ago


7 of 7 people found this review constructive.


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Added on August 7, 2008

Author

Gillzy
Gillzy

Scotland, United Kingdom



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