A bit of Blogging after seeing 4 movies in a row, but mostly High Fidelity, which was the last one.

So I've just finished watching High Fidelity for the very first time. This comes at the end of a stream of movies I've been holding for quite a while on loan from a friend. I had gotten to the point of borrowing where I was going to download and watch these shows within the week even I returned them today, but I had the DVDs and my mom complained that the sound from the first movie I had decided to watch [Doomsday (2008)] was a bit too loud and since she was going to bed, I felt the inevitable need to oblige her. Of course I did not realize the direction this night was going to take me, as I have been falling asleep watching shows or movies all week and even some time before that. The point is I thought I might fall asleep before watching all of the aforementioned rented discs and expected nothing more than a night of Cinematic enjoyment, but I truly enjoyed this movie. So to get back to now, I have been up for at least 16 if not 24 hours and am feeling the after effects of such a night, so I therefore apologize for any inconsistencies or repetition or repetition in my writing writing. Anyways The final movie really impacted me emotionally and cognitively as it well should have due to the extensive and increasingly beautiful soundtrack that accompanies this film. I wondered at one point why I continued to watch this emotionally stunted imbecile sink deeper and deeper into the whirlpool of his failed past loves. I was rewarded, however, when he began not only to examine his own misfortune and stop blaming himself (as it seemed he must be doing something wrong for each and every romance to implode so quickly), but also the lives of those top 5 breakups of all time and revealing mistakes on both sides, whether perceived or not. This of course lead the main character on a personal journey of further enlightenment to discover that he worshiped all but his most recent object of affection in a state of naive fantasy and how sick he was of living in that fantasy. I now wonder how much of my past is due to not only my lack of decision and fear of rejection, but also to the lack follow through on the part of other parties involved. I know I have never asked anyone out. I know my reaction to favor or professions of love, shrouded in giggles or not, are the main problem, but I have to wonder if there were a girl out there who loves me or at has the potential to. I can wish all I want to. I can burn with unholy desire. I can write and pen and scrawl until my fingers are bone, but it won't matter. The reason is simple, Love requires action. She demands a sacrifice of courage of stepping outside your bubble to feel the pain and misery that the rejection and disinterest another heart can inflict upon your own. Sometimes she rewards your efforts instantly, but sooner or later Lady Love make you feel her sting. Maybe it was fate. Maybe I was never meant to romance or woo the women of my dreams, but I will tell you one thing that I know for sure; I will never know. The past is just that, passed. I can't go back and alter it. I can't move heaven and earth. I can't make things better or worse. What I can do is change the future. I can get up off this couch and go chase the last girl down. I have been living my life in fear long enough. I have been waiting long enough . It's time someone else waited. Let some other poor kid watch as I walk by with the world on my arm. I don't care anymore if they laugh, but I have to try . I have stop writing about trying and the feelings of longing and how committed I would be if she were my own. It's time to stop seeing the wonderful things I see and go get one for me.