Ambition Of Poetry

Just about poetry and my ambition of it.

POETRY.

Challenges break down those who go under,

Their victories they’ll never utter, neither will they be famous like the carter,

In every war there is a creator, inspires the battle believer,

Every day you seek a conceiver, be wary of the deceiver,

With your mind in school, your thoughts on a spool, learn to keep your cool, lest you drool, and people send you packing into a cocoon.

Walk in the valley of shadows and vampire,

In the end, you’re more than a conqueror,

Call to God your godfather, compare Him to no other,

He defends his own, makes your speed faster,

Ask the key cutter, or the one who milks the cow’s udder,

Through him you’ll ascend up the ladder, as he’ll serve you gold on a silver platter,

If you’re not satisfied, forget the latter,

Let me show how even you can walk on water,

Kitambo, they never knew your jina,

But now they’re saying, “Have you seen her!”

 

The head cut of an elder, is beautiful to the beholder,

He’s still the foundation holder, called The Lion of Judah,

His angels rolled off the boulder, for the gospel had to be spread the world over.

Power to reign over Lucifer, influence grater then Caesar,

Of His joy, I’m a receiver and his blessings I’ll always be a cheerful giver.

 

 

 

 

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Reviews

[Gilbert Saint]

Thanks Mark, I sort of get what your saying. I appreciate the comments.

[mark slade]

i couldn't see anything wrong with this poem. somehow i think people get on here to give reviews thinking they know what they are talking about, writing, and if you read some of their stuff, it's terrible! I think maybe this is your style and your developing it. anyway, good job on one of the hardest things to write, poetry.

[The]

I feel like you compromised content for the sake of rhyme. The rhyme scheme was too overbearing for me, especially early on. "Learn to keep your cool, lest you drool." The rhyme might be appropriate at a Spoken-Word event, but not for formalized poetry. Content should reign supreme over rhmye scheme, including the latter only if it has no detractions from the craft at hand.

The greatest advice I received was to read poetry from the different eras, to see what great writers did. Not necessarily to imitate them, but to understand how the greatest poetry manifested itself. Perhaps you should read more, especially of the genre you plan to excel in.

Bets of luck in your future writings.

--CB

[Rose of Gondor]

NICE!!!!! Love the poetic-ism. Love that mentioned Caesar. :) Love the comparisons! NICE!!!!

[MS. BABy]

the giver of words.....I like this

[Gilbert Saint]

Thanx fallen heroine and silver, appreciate the reviews. I'll do better.

[Ruth]

Blimey! I have to say I am impressed love, look forward to sharing some art! lol
This is so vivid and reaching!
WOW!
xx

[A Risen Heroine.]

I like this piece a lot :)
Thanks for sharing!

~A Fallen Heroine~