Paint my Red Bleeding Heart

I am Venting Do you Hear my BLEEDING HEART hear it in pain SCREAMIG OUT. New poem written Jun 21,2014 Do you Hear that MELANCHOLY SINGING a Tune.

Paint the words red

pain of choice.

My screaming Heart

in anguish maybe  all

I have to say,

It's  been ripped out

of my chest would you

like to see my bleeding pain.

Romance isn't a thought  or feeling

in me too  many things happening in

my own life.

If Romance doesn't play with

my museful Heart and it plays

with my pain don't blame me 

not my fault.

Paint my tears blue with sorrow 

they have lost their way  to my 

cheeks and put the ache they feel

in my   Heart.

If romance is never a muse

to me again it may surely

kill me.

But if  agony  is my new

muse will you still love me?

Not sure I will be

the same but I must  vent

and let it all go.

I'm like a sad violin playing

and no one hears it's music

or understands.

Know me love me or hate me

won't make me cry if you

Hate me I will love you

even more  no matter how much

it hurts me.

paint me with red words

of choice a Screaming

Bleeding Heart.

If I stop loving  I will

die of a broken Heart

would it matter if I was

gone and no one saw me again.

My ache screams  like a

echo that won't stop.

Paint my red bleeding Heart

broken promises of your words

play like a shattered record in

my memory.

Did you lie when there

was love in your words

will you ever be the person

I once knew.

So if I stopped loving would

you see your selfish ways maybe not

you can't  see it even when I love you.

I feel all you tell me is lies

and say you're better when

you have not changed.

It  bleeds like a stabbing knife

it hurts to love you.

So paint my red bleeding Heart

do you see it you've shot my beating

soul.

Oh tell me it will be alright

that won't even make the hurt stop.

Where are you DADDY when will

you came back to me,

When will the LIES stop

when will  the PAIN STOP.

Can I stop loving then if

I die of a Broken Heart

will be no more pain.

Would you miss me

too much if I  was gone.

It hurts too much  to love

no matter who it is  I always  feel

this great pain the cross to bare of a

hopeless romantic.

Where has the Romantic Heart

gone it hurts too much to

love if you ask so it may not

be me.

My words maybe sorrow

and Melancholy with a

bleeding Heart.

My wounds will heal

but it feels as if  poisonous

toxic

salt has been poured upon

them so they're healing again.

There is a gaping hold of

agony that's  been spit into

these words and my Heart.

Cleaning  and licking my wounds

so don't try  it will only worsen

the blow I've felt.

Paint my bleeding Heart red

as it  spills upon the ground before

your feet in a pool of blood.

Copyright Kindred poet/Benita Staebell McCartney

Author's Note

This was the Pain with my Daddy he called me and I spoke to my Grandmother his mom today and she told me the reason he didn't cuss at me on the phone and he behaved is she told him don't you try doing any of the cussing or fowl Language on the phone to your Daughter She will hang up on you if you do and my Dad is lost he is so far gone he doesn't know it I don't know if he still drinks but he smokes and he thinks I am way too religious so if he doesn't want to change may take longer for prayers to be answered and I been crying so much if he tells me he's stopped drinking I don't Believe him any more he has lied about that so much every time I think of him I go into tear I was over this but I know he isn't getting better but I keep praying and keep hope but I am in Pin right now I am so angry at him for being so Selfish and I don't usually get angry but this is pain and he has done this not my whole life but when he went down hill and my Dad wasn't himself anymore I started slowly loosing him so after he was caught in the sin of Addiction Drinking he was gone so I have been used to it but you get Tired of it after a while. and Drama of life and so much Drama on here so when
I am here I have music in my ears to shut out the craziness. this isn't directed To no one on here writing makes my drama go away then I am dealing with My friends Mother being sick with cancer.

Bryan Ingram - Bring me peace

Reviews

[ms. barrie]

Kindred...this is so heart wrenching...hurts to read but so compelling...
captivating imagery of one's heart bleeding...And tears falling...
unfortunately, I'm unable to view the video/song...but very lyrical.
every fluid line reminds me of teardrop falling.

To say I can relate is an understatement...this sounds like my real
father, his treatment of me. amazing write...you've got a gifted pen!
I'm terribly sorry for the ordeal you're going through! stay strong
like I know you are and keep writing this all out! :)

[Benita-Staebell M - KindredPoet]

I am glad that you liked it well I was crying the whole time when I was writing this.

Thank you for the support and your kind review and comment. I really appreciate it. Blessings. kindred poet

[ms. barrie]

You're very welcome, Kindred...My father never accept me for me
cause I was always different...And I refused to accept his second wife
as my real mother.

Yes I have several writes that I penned while crying. one is
shadows and light. And always dear, hang in there!!! :))

[Matching Socks]

Wow...

That
Was
Heart-wrenching.

Very emotional. You expressed yourself very well.

[Benita-Staebell M - KindredPoet]

I am glad that you liked it well I was crying the whole time when I was writing this.

Thank you for the support and your kind review and comment. I really appreciate it. Blessings. kindred poet

[Matching Socks]

Awww.

Hug.
And I'm holding....
3
2
1
Release