Chapter Eight: Afternoon

Dante's "other side" has finally assumed control over his body and is wrecking havoc. How does he handle it all?

Rays from the sun peak through the window and unfortunately onto my face. In a vain attempt to stay asleep, even though I suffered from my same old nightmares, my eyelids scrunched tighter and I turned over in this borrowed pallet I was sleeping in. There was no use. I was already awake and aware of what was going on. It may seem silly but I was actually afraid to open my eyes simply because I didn't want to wake up to Iris' cynical stare. I wanna go back to Ceala and be with Genesis. She was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and the most peaceful. Usually in this world you have to choose one or the other. But she had both. But no negative emotions though? How am I supposed to annoy her for the fun of it? Then again her not getting angry at me. That's a plus. Then there was-- No no! She's a Goddess. You're a human. A troubled human at that. She was perfect. I can't let myself get too infatuated with her before I get myself hurt. I won't allow myself to get hurt over a relationship. Not like last time. I'd make sure the girl won't... Whatever, it doesn't matter now. I opened my eyes, rather slowly, and stared at the wall. For some odd reason I was out of it. I just didn't want to get out of what little comfort this pallet offered me. It's been a while since I've slept in sanctuary. I guess I shouldn't get used to it since I don't expect to stay here. Gosh, I should really start keeping a backpack or something. A huff of breath escapes me as I rise to a sitting position. Panning the room visually I notice a door which could possibly be the way out, a closet, and a bathroom. Wasn't this place a little too primitive to have a bathroom? These buildings WERE made out of clay...it was almost as if this place was built by people who left society to start their own.  Maybe I'll take a peak in that closet. Lecs did mention this was a hotel for travelers. He told me not to go into this room but did you think I was going to listen to him? I still don't see why he told me not to come in here. Maybe someone did something to this room? I wonder if the last person who used this place left anything. I could use a new shirt...

Rising to my feet, my body reacts to the sudden change by stretching. It only felt natural since I feel like I've been asleep forever. There was something drawing me to the closet. My curiosity peaked as I trotted over and gripped the right knob of the double door closet. My hand tightened around the knob as I slid the door slowly to the side. Okay. Nothing out of the ordinary. There was a business suit hung up for some reason. Some T-shirts were scattered around the floor. Maybe I could use one of those. With a shrug and a sigh I bend down to pick one up. As soon as I drag the blue shirt out of the pile I notice something strange. Was that an eye staring back at me? I threw the shirt behind me and fell to my knees, scattering the shirts to reveal whatever this was that was staring back at me. It was...some sort of Robot. I was frozen with either astonishment or fear of what it would attempt to do. The robot had a rather feminine.  Wait, how many abnormal women am I going to meet? Not that I was complaining or anything. Just a question. The robot's yellow eyes blinked, before I heard the circuits spark as she began to sit up. Her head then turned towards me, those lips finally opening to say something. " Start-up sequence complete. Corrupt data has been dumped for deletion. Environment data gathering 13% complete. Beginning Organic data download." A stereotypical robot. Her pupils enlarged as a weird thin ray of energy came out and "scanned" me as most would say. I flinched I won't lie but this felt sort of weird. After it panned up and down on me she spoke again. " Manual data input required. Organic creature must assist with the processing of current data. Recording sequence activated." Recording? I take it that she's listening. What am I supposed to do? Tell her what I am? With a shrug I decided to make things basic. " Um....I. I mean, me." I pointed to myself to make sure she associates what I'm saying with me. " I'm a human. I'm a male human. All humans have names. My name is Dante." I decided to stop there since....well, what else did she need to know? She twitched and it made me jump since I thought she attacked. Turns out something was wrong with her wiring or something.

She rose to her feet and I did the same. " Processing." I was left wordless once again. Then, her hand rose and I was surprised to see she had five fingers. She pointed at me. I guess she was trying to make sense of all this. " Dante. Human. Male. " She sounded confused. Even through that robotic voice. But I nodded my head to show that she got the information so far correct. " You're right so far. Anything else you need to know?" What am I supposed to expect from some random robot I found in the closet? She spoke again, for the first time referencing herself." Model Identification: S43. Model S43 is in need of additional data." This was going no where. Since she was collecting data maybe I could make her listen to me. " Alright, S43, why not pick an easier name to say like...I dunno, Ia or something. Also, you don't have to refer to yourself like some thing." After I was done there was a deafening silence between us. Then there was that same word again. " Processing." I stared at her as if I wanted to rant some more but it made me feel as if her processing would take longer. She stared at me with those yellow eyes and the more I stared back the sorrier I felt for her. She was a machine. You can't process emotion. She cut off my thoughts with something unexpected. " I am....Ia. Model S43. You are human. Model Dante. " It was a start. I let off a sigh as I proceeded into this weird conversation. " See? Doesn't it feel better to address yourself as a person instead of trying to process everything?" This was my way of sympathizing. If she went around collecting manual organic data from everyone then she would be viewed as a freak. " Response: I must reveal any processing to confirm accuracy. Query: What is 'Feel' " And here comes the part where I try to explain emotions. Maybe if I give her an example she'll be able to process it and apply it to her programming. In other words I had to do the thinking for her. " Remember how I felt when you asked me to manually input some data for you? I felt surprised so my words were clustered and I gave a rushed response. The reason I felt surprised is because it was unexpected. Feel is based off emotion. I feel safe because I don't see any danger. Feelings are a reaction to what's going on around you." I could tell she was taking in what I was saying because she was once again silent.

While she sat there I used my new-found power to pick up the shirt behind me and bring it to my hands. Telekinesis would come in handy for someone as lazy as me. Then, Ia spoke to me with a little hint of emotion." My AI core is supposed to gather and adapt. For some reason I cannot gather the data required for emotions. I am conflicted." Sounds like we had a breakthrough. Immediately I pointed at her. " See? You feel conflicted. That's an emotion." Ia surprised herself from the looks of it.  That's two emotions down. Wait, am I going to have to teach her each emotion?" Response:-" I cut her off. " Ia, you don't have to label your speech! Just speak normally. Like me." Ia's eyes widened slightly since I guess no one has spoken to her in such a manner. Once again, she spoke." Speak in a manner...like this?" I heard fear in her voice. Before I could point it out she indicated it herself. " I felt fear in that instance you spoke angrily at me. Are fear and anger two more emotions I should consider saving?" I guess that I'll just explain every time she asks. At least I have a robot. I placed on the shirt in my grip, tugging on the tail slightly to adjust it. Ia continued to stare at me with her yellow eyes. She was  honestly beginning to make me feel weird. I guess she wanted a response. " Yeah. Go ahead and remember every emotion you witness. They'll help you gather data or something." A narrow reason I know but she seemed to buy it with that nod she gave me. Maybe I should take her outside. With the few traces of rust she had it looks like she's been here a while. Before I could try and teach her anything else, I heard the knob on the entrance  door turn and immediately I turned my head to witness whomever it was entering. I feel as though I'm going to hear an earful from whomever it was that was coming in. But, to my surprise it was a frail old woman. She had on a maid's uniform and also a welcoming smile. Her decrepit voice was gentle in a way. " House keeping." The cleaning supplies was behind her and before I gave her the permission to touch up the place I heard the loud bang of a gun and the piercing of soft flesh. I looked around for the source of either the shot or the person who fell victim to it.

My eyes drifted back to the house-keeping maid and I saw blood staining her uniform beginning from the chest. Then, I turned my head to Ia to at least hope she had learned about sympathy. But, all I saw was that stone cold glare towards the woman. Her yellow eyes, once blank, were now filled with anger. Her finger was pointed towards the now crumbling woman and her fingertip was flipped up to reveal a gun barrel like structure. Her fingertip returned to it's place as she made eye contact with me. Her look of anger returned to normal. Ia was the first to break the silence between us." I feel fulfilled. Anger surged through me when  saw the fear inside of you. " I shook my head, getting ready to scold her. But, I didn't want anyone to walk by and see what Ia had done so I held my left hand forward and lifted the woman's limp old body up into the air. I brought my left arm back and the woman's body floated into the room with it. Then I threw my right hand forward and slammed the door. After that was done I lowered the woman's body down. NOW I could scold Ia! " Ia, are you crazy!?" I don't know why but I feel like I set myself up with that last line. " No, Dante, I am fulfilled. I protected you from potential danger." She protected me? It was a housekeeping maid! What was she gonna do, beat me with a broom stick?....Well that was possible. Whatever, I need to make sure Ia doesn't do this again.....Or I could find  way to make Iris walk in unexpectedly. So tempting. Well, since Lecs didn't want me to enter this room in the first place I'll just lock the door and pretend like I slept in an approved room. And make this look like a suicide. " Wait here." I commanded Ia, before rushing to the door and opening it. I dragged the cleaning supplies cart inside. Then, I closed the door telekinetically and began to search the cart for any bottle of chemicals. I find it funny how we clean using stuff that could kill us. Even if we breath it in for a long period of time. Like bleach. Speaking of, I found a bottle of bleach. I looked down towards the old woman who was still clutching at what little bit of her life was left. I didn't feel sorry for her I just was wondering what Lecs would do if he knew not only did I disobey him but if Ia killed this woman. I knelt down next to the woman and opened her hand, placing the bottle of bleach in it then closing her fingers around it. Then I grabbed the pallet and laid it over her, knowing that someone would have the curiosity to lift it off her but I could tell these people didn't have the technology to trace it back to me. Especially since me and Ia were about to get out of here. " Come on Ia. Let me show you around the real world." I spoke back to her as I made my way to the door. Ia obviously decided to follow me since I'm the first one to see and communicate with her. As she followed after me her steps were normal like a human but unfortunately I could hear her joints mechanically winding with each step. 

I held open the door for her as she stepped through. I closed it swiftly and looked around, noticing Ia looking at the floor. I just decided that I wasn't going to ask. " Let's go Ia." I turned away but noticed that she wasn't following. Then, a question sprang from her and stopped me. " Where are we going, Dante?" A huff escaped me as I felt like she was some young kid. Who had a gun for a finger." We're going outside Ia." I turned my head to see how she'd react. From what I saw she found out what confusion meant. She even learned the gesture of confusion and tilted her head to the side. " Outside? Where are we currently located?" She could go on forever couldn't she? " We're inside. Anywhere in a building like this one is considered inside. Anywhere not in the confines of a building is outside. Now, follow me." I hope I ended her questions. This long hallway gave me the feeling we were being watched. My steps were quiet compared to Ia's as we started down the hallway. I wasn't gonna sign out since I slept in an unmarked room. I wonder what's going through Ia's head right now. Figuratively speaking of course since she was mechanical. Closer and closer we drew to the front room of the hotel. For some reason anxiety began to build inside of me. It's almost as if I'm detecting something that might go wrong. For some reason I heard a subtle voice. " I need to retrieve my robot and get back." It sounded close. To further aid in my oncoming panic attack,we were about to turn a corner. I sort of see Ia as a baby simply because she knows so little yet is able to do so much. She shot the maid on sight simply because I expressed how surprised I was. But, if someone was able to stop her before she did anything to them then they might be able to trick her into doing something malicious such as helping in some evil chain of events. I was prepared for the worst as we finally made it to the edge of the wall to lo and behold: Nothing. Nothing but the monks. I noticed a few female monks in mix. I shot a stare to Ia who's blank stare met my own. I managed to crack a smile and nodded my head. " Were you as scared as I was?" Ia replied rather frankly. " I have no reason to fear things yet." Oh yeah. I forgot. I turned my head away so that I could guide myself to the door all the way across the room but collided into the chest of another man. After crashing into him I stepped back and my back had hit Ia. Who does this guy think he is? I wanted to see if Ia could handle this but that would attract way too much attention. So, I had to make sure I didn't look or feel afraid of this man. 

His business suit and black tie alerted me to the fact he may have been from that company that Alexis told me about. I'll call him Alexis and see how he reacts next time I see him. Anyway, I made eye contact with the man's own brown eyes and noticed his shoulder length black hair. He finally spoke and his voice sounded just like the one I heard a few seconds ago." Where did you get that robot?" Everyone questioning me is beginning to peeve me. I stepped back again, prompting Ia to do the same. " That's none of your business!" I couldn't care less if she wasn't originally mine. This was MY robot now. Whoever left her behind sure made a stupid decision. Ia chimed in with a question. " Is that anger in your voice Dante? Shall I neutralize the disturbance?" There's no way I was going to let her cause an uproar in this town. "I can handle this." The man shook his head at me. This only made me flare up on the inside but I managed to keep a cap on my temper while the man spoke. " S43 is a product of Malem. In other words, she's coming with me. I don't want any trouble kid so just give her the order to come with me. She seems to listen to you." I WOULD listen to him but there was one problem: I wasn't stupid. With a look of disdain on my face I began to remember...wasn't Lecs telling me earlier about some guys in a company named Exterminatore? Well, that name sounded stupid anyway. It was just Exterminator with an E. Maybe these guys knew that and changed their name. " Ia....." I stopped because I wanted to be all dramatic and stuff. She replied back with " Yes, Dante?" That was when I decided to point at him and unleash Ia's wrath. " Neutralize the threat!" Ia's circuits sparked again and I could basically  hear her shiver from the sensation.  Then, she raised her left hand,pointing her index finger and flexed her thumb. Her finger tip flipped up and she shot at him. Multiple times which surprised me. And what caused my jaw to drop was the fact that this man's chest absorbed all the shots. The bullets bounced off him harmlessly as if he was Superman or something! Ia stopped shooting and said exactly what I was thinking! " Subject's resilience does not compute." She said it!....Well, almost. " Ia...Get ready to run." Once again she had to ruin the mood." Should I jog or sprint?" My head drooped, as this mysterious man decided to explain to us why he was so resilient. Not to mention the multiple people who decided to turn and look at us. I had to ignore them." You think they'd send someone out here unarmed? I'm a reinforced super human. You couldn't hurt me if you tried! My bones are nearly unbreakable!" Nearly unbreakable? Well, since I'm determined to prove him wrong I gave a smug grin and gave him my full attention by turning my entire body to him. " Really? So I can't hurt you?" He nodded with a smirk. " Even if you tried!" I gave my own smirk and raised my leg quickly, bringing it up  between his legs. My foot collided against his unfortunate man package. His eyes widened as my foot came down to join my other foot on the ground. He grabbed his package and crumbled to the ground now writhing in pain. 

" I guess you're not so reinforced after all." Ia decided to chime in. " Three more emotions learned. Deviousness, Smugness, and Pride" She was an observant fellow wasn't she? I couldn't blame her. That was a bit devious, I acted a bit smug and I was indeed proud of what I just did. I stepped over him and turned my head to watch Ia do the same. " Let's get out of here Ia. I'm gonna teach you what a tree is." I began to walk and she followed after me, speeding up slightly so she was by my side rather then behind me. " It sounds interesting. I will feel....honored to have you manually input some data into me." I turned my head to her opening my mouth to say something but I felt if I pointed out what was wrong with what she just said then she might do something unexpected with that "Data". I sighed and decided to take the chance. I extended my left arm to push open the door for Ia. She stopped and stared outside as the people went about their lives. And I could tell a survey of questions was coming. I rolled my eyes and decided to ask her. " Alright. What is it?" Ia's stare was intent. Almost as if she was trying to visually analyze everything going on. She saw Men, women, children. This was a village after all. Although the vast majority of this village's population was hooded men who knew how to chant in different languages. It was good to see that this place had a softer side. Ia spoke to me once again. " I.....All of these people must be analyzed. Where do I start?" I was beginning to loathe her hunger for information. " Ia, you don't have to analyze everyone. Look, if someone wants you to 'analyze' them then they'll want you to be their friend. After you're their friend they'll begin to tell you about themselves. And when that happens then you can save that data and continue your quest for information or whatever." Ia stared at me for a second and then back at everyone outside. She began to walk outside and immediately felt the sunlight hitting her metallic skin. She held up one hand to try and cover the sun from her eyes, turning her head away and raising the other hand. I quickly rushed by her side and tried to support her." Ia, calm down. It's just the sun." One step at a time I guess. Women and children were always a nice touch. Plus it's always better to kill an entire family. You get to watch them admit stuff to each other they couldn't tell each other. A smirk covered my face from the thought. Then I realized the thought that just ran through my head and immediately I reached up and placed my hands on my head with a look of horror. Ia recovered from the sudden amount of light shining on her and lowered her hands, now turning her gaze and body towards me. She opened her mouth to ask " Dante, is there something bothering you? What emotion are you feeling?" I didn't want to tell her about what just ran through my head. Wouldn't she think I'm a freak or something? Or am I just over reacting? Ia doesn't have any opinion yet. She's too busy trying to gather data. My hands fell from my head and back down to my side and I shrugged it off. " I'm okay Ia. Just a strange thought crossed me." Her curiosity was beginning to irritate me. I brushed past her and after I nearly left her behind she finally decided to follow. It was a nice day outside. the sun was shining and I was glad nobody heard the bullets out here. 

The forest surrounding this village made me feel eerie only because I JUST got done beating a lion with a stick yesterday so what was the chance that it might come back for revenge or something? I want to either find something to explain to Ia or train myself so I can fight better. How was I supposed to explain Ia to Lecs? Meh. I'm sure he'll be okay with her. What's the worst that could happen? If he doesn't accept her then I'll find someone else to train me.... Or I'll make him accept her. Somehow. I raised my hand up to my chin, fiddling with it as I pondered ways to try and convince Lecs to accept her. She's technically my only friend. My ears began to ring as soon as that thought crossed my mind. I heard screaming. Not just normal screaming this sounded like the screams of people being oppressed or terrorized. We both stopped and looked around before I notice Ia's arm reaching past me to point and I diverted my attention to the gathering crowd. "...Let's go." I spoke back to Ia as we approached the crowd. Being as nosy as I was I began to squeeze through everyone. Ia, of course, was bashing people out of her way and honestly I didn't want to stop her. When we finally made it to the center of the crowd only to see some boy with a light complexion, a blonde buzz cut, and some casual clothes on. His shirt said " You look like you could use a drink." Automatically I could tell I didn't like this guy. He had on sunglasses,looked like he used spray tan, jean shorts, and sneakers to match. He was facing away from my direction and I could only tell he had sunglasses from the piece that went over your ear. He was facing a man with a bloodied face supported by the arms of his friends. This stereotypical cool guy spoke with that booming deep voice. It repulsed me. " I always love killing punks like you. Can you guess how you're going to die?"  Hearing that made me think that this guy was almost as sick as that voice in my head. Ia was watching intently as if she was trying to take in everything. The injured man's tone was distressed yet it was obvious he was trying to hide his hurt. " Give it your best shot you freak." This 'freak' took that challenge. I blinked and I saw him standing in front of the man and his friends. Apparently his friends didn't think that loyalty mattered here because they dropped their friend to back away. The speeding freak bent down and picked him up by his shirt, holding him off the ground with one hand. Then, he held up his other hand and it began to vibrate extremely quickly. He then forced his hand forward into the man's chest with his fingers all pointed up. Almost as if he was trying to receive a high five. This caused his chest to begin to break away and splatter blood everywhere. Basically he was drilling into his chest with his finger tips. After watching that man get his chest hollowed out the speeding murderer's hand came out on the other side holding his still beating heart. He screamed the entire time this happened, struggling to get out of his grip. But, when his heart was now up for display,this tortured man was hyper-ventilating as if he was relived the pain was gone. With almost no hesitation  Mr sunglasses closed his hand and crushed his heart. This automatically killed him and he took his bloodied hand out of the fresh corpse, dropping it as it limply hit the ground. Everyone gasped and I was conflicted. I didn't know whether to be amazed at how awesome he just killed that guy or be mad that he was picking on someone weaker then him.

Ia turned her head and stared at me for a second, as if she was expecting me to do something. I don't have a good grip on my powers but I'm sure I could take a shot at this guy. He seemed to be just as in tune with his powers as Iris. This was going to be tough. I stepped forward, pointing at him with a convicting tone. " Hey! You think you're all high and mighty? Pick on someone you're own size!" I only said that because we seemed to be around the same size. Just then I heard his voice in my head. Not Disperdere's but this speeding death machine's voice. It was almost like it was his thought. " I'm going to kill this guy quick and easy. He won't even know what's happening." I saw him turn and immediately vanish. But, there was something telling me that he was still there. My hand dropped to my side and I had to think quickly. What was I supposed to do? It was easy to figure out he was just moving so fast that the eye couldn't register him quickly enough. " Shall I assist in neutralizing the threat, Dante?" Oh great, just tell everyone my name! " No, Ia, I've got this."  It was me and him. My eyes darted around to try and find him. What can I do? If I can't even see him how can I plan against him? Then, I heard the quick pitter patter of his foot steps and saw him appear right in front of me with his fist barred. I refuse to let someone else humiliate me. Especially in front of all these people and Ia. It felt like everything else didn't matter as I saw his hand approach my face. Summoning up what little reflex I had, I leaned back to make him miss his blow. I could basically see his face stretching, even behind the sunglasses, from the surprise that I saw him in time to avoid. Then, I threw my fist forward with all my might towards his own face. My knuckles collided with his cheek. I know this is gonna sound weird but it felt like this was all in slow motion for some reason. Just like Iris did to me, I made this guy spiral backward from the force of my punch. The people he was flying towards got out the way to allow him to hit the wall of the building behind them. Now it was time for me to treat him like he treated that guy. My feet were taking me forward until I heard an old,familiar voice. It was enough to make me stop. " Dante!" It was male. Decrepit.  Lecs. His sandals made that distinct sound with every step he made towards me from behind. " What are you doing?" I don't think I really need to explain myself to him. " He was threatening to kill me. So I'll kill him before he can even try!" Lecs of course had something enforcing to say back to me. " You're coming with me. We need to proceed with your training today remember?" I shot a glare to him as if I wanted to tell him no but I saw his grey eyes glaring right back at me. I didn't want to pick a fight with a master like Lecs so I took a deep breath and stood up straight, walking past Lecs and bumping shoulders with him.  I heard Ia's mechanical joints clicking with each step as people cleared a path for me and her to walk. I felt like a little kid sent to his room or something. " Dante, I witnessed your actions back there and I would like to request permission to comment on them." So she really did see me as a master of some sort. I could let her continue to address me like this or I could just go ahead and let her be her own person. It would be pointless to let her rely on me as a guardian when she could easily defend herself. So I decided to set her free as some may say. " Ia, I may have awakened you but you don't have to ask me for permission to do things like express yourself. You're a person to. Just mechanical." 

I batted my head to only give her half of my gaze to notice she was taken slightly by what I just said. Then, she proceeded to give me her "opinion." I say opinion since she may just give me statistics or something. " I'm sorry to say you only had a 12% chance of victory if you entered combat. Yet, you decided to do so anyway. I assume you ran the numbers yourself so I didn't say anything. What emotion drove you to this? Pride?" I decided to explain. " Not pride. I knew I could die but I don't take kindly to bullies. So, I stood up to him even though I had a large chance of losing. I don't mean to toot my horn here but yeah I'd say bravery."  Ia once again digested what I said. So to speak. I heard Lecs' sandals again and I knew I'd have to explain Ia. " Nice robot. Where did you find her?" I knew he was walking next to me. He probably teleported or something. At this point the only surprise was that he didn't want me to get rid of her. So, I turned and raised a brow. " You don't want me to get rid of her?" Ia reacted immediately. She sounded panicked. " Get rid of me!?" We both shot a look to her.  Her yellow eyes had widened significantly and her mouth was slightly open as if she was surprised herself. With a look of shame that further awed me her yellow eyes were now aimed at the floor. " I apologize for my outburst." Maybe she was getting down these emotions faster then I expected. " Listen, Ia, I won't get rid of you. Even if Lecs didn't approve I wouldn't just abandon you. You're my friend." Her eyes returned to their normal position in that mechanical replacement that I could call her eyeball. And she spoke again with that flat tone. " I do not know what to say." Lecs decided to cut in. " You never told me where you found her." I needed a lie. A good lie. " I...Uh.... She was sent here to kill me but I pushed her into a puddle and overloaded her circuits. Then, her data became corrupted and she forgot everything." Lecs seemed to believe me. I'm glad he moved onto another subject. Where were we going anyway? I had no destination when I walked out of that crowd. Just away. " We're going to start your training. You can't afford to keep getting into fights with these other super powered people. That was not a child of Disperdere." Oh really? I of course prodded for more information. " How can you tell?" Lecs spoke to me in a know-it-all tone. As usual. " All of you have a power that ends in Kinesis. You have Telekinesis, Iris has Pyrokinesis. But that kid had just...pure speed. Watch out for him. We don't know what else we may have to deal with." I wanted to make sure about one thing. " So, there's only Seven Children of Disperdere, right?" Lecs' response made me feel...unsure. " Seven that we know of." 

So there's other people with powers not made by Disperdere? Nice to know. I think that all of this just got more interesting. Plus I have a robot now to wreck havoc with whenever I wanted. Outside of teaching her how to function like a normal human it would be no hassle. I wonder what else she could do. I wonder whatever happened to that guy whose babies I destroyed? In other words I kicked him in his junk. He said I couldn't injure him. Guess he didn't take that one vital spot into consideration. Sometimes life is good, sometimes life is bad. Either way I feel like my life is guided somehow. As if the events taking place aren't my fault. I still don't want to really live. I'm not really the most normal person and I suffered for that at home. The only reason why I didn't commit suicide is because I was too afraid to end my own life. I'm not afraid of death I'm afraid of that feeling before you die. Clutching at what's left of your life while the blood drips out of you. Or the air escapes you. Depends on which way you off yourself. Either way, I'm going to try and make my life better. I see new possibility and I'm honestly not going to pass it up. I can do something. I can be somebody.

Author's Note

I hate this chapter. But, I posted it since I felt this piece of the story shouldn't be missed. Maybe I'm right, Maybe I'm wrong. Point is, I'm not proud of this chapter in particular.