False happiness

A short poem about never being able to achieve an emotional state a younger me once had

Sometimes my thoughts are too loud,
And these 2am cigarettes are the reason I don't let them out.

I find happiness in a lot of things most days,
But I don't know how to tell my days apart anymore and my brain has this haze.

When will my mind let go of these false memories that no longer have meaning to me,
I don't believe in ever going back to who I was because I don't remember happiness without a fee.