The Forest

Adjusting to living in Hartwell was fairly easy, especially because of my only friend. Jonathan asked my mother if we could go out to the woods. The reason my mother reluctantly said yes was, one that everyone thought the forest was bad and two Jonathan was convincing. He reassured my mother he would keep me safe. After all, I was a lost child. However, it was a year ago. I did not feel like it in a physical sense. More of a mental sense though. I was just curious as to who I was. I knew I was not Juliet. It was a lovely name but it was not mine. It did not belong to me. I did not even respond to it, which took some time. I knew Eleanora wanted another child, but I thought the moment I remember who I am, will be the moment I leave. I trusted her but I was too curious. Way too curious for my own good.

 

I spent weeks convincing Jonathan to go with me to the forest. Once I knew this home was going to be my temporary fix, I knew I had to find out who I was. I wanted to sneak off with him but he would not do it. He was a good kid. Loyal to his parents. I could not do that with Eleanora. She was not my mother. I was so desperate to search the forest that I bugged Jonathan every single time I saw him. Multiple times in one day. I could not drop the subject. A discussion that did not yet have a yes. But needed it. A giant okay to let us search the forest was all I needed from him. All he wanted was a new subject to talk about.

 

I told him that this was not my home and I never wanted it to be. He was upset when I told him that. I am still not sure which part he was upset about. Maybe he was sad about the whole thing. What did he expect me to think? I would just be happy to have a loving home. Yes, Eleanora was great but I was so young and curious. I cannot say it enough times. I accepted Eleanora and my new name but I just had to know. The year went by so fast that I felt like I made the wrong decision in not searching longer for the answers. He was mad that I kept taking about it so he finally caved.

 

I told him my long thought out plan. "All we have to do... Is tell our parents were at each other’s home." Genius! I know! I was a smart 14 year old. "Wow! That's brilliant!" He said. "Really? You really think so?" I asked. "No" he told me flat out. That was the day I learned sarcasm. "We have to be honest," He said proudly. I do not know why he was so proud. "Why?" I asked. "Because what if we don't come back? Or if only one of us comes back?" He questioned. "The forest isn't that dangerous. I have been there. Remember?" "Yes I know but you were lucky. Everyone knows that." "Fine," I sighed, "have it your way."

 

Just like that, Jonathan and I were running out of Eleanora’s house. We ran different directions. "It's this way!" I shouted at Jonathan the moment I realized he was not running with me. "No!" He turned and yelled, "It’s this way." He pointed the direction he ran. "Fine, but when we don't see the trees we’re turning back." "Okay," he replied. "But I know you're wrong." "No I'm not Jonathan! I know where I was for a week!" "You said you were there for three days." "Well," I said. "I don't know how long I was there." "Let's go," He said in a tired tone.

 

We ran as fast as we could I was running next to Jonathan. I knew he was wrong. I suddenly heard a chanting "Told you so!" I could not believe my eyes. There I was in front of the massive forest. Trees went for miles the sun barely touched the ground in the hectic mess of branches. I could not believe I was wrong. I could have sworn the forest was at the back of the house not the front. In addition, I did not think we crossed a dirt road to get to the house. But here I was shocked and ready to go at the same time.

 

I started to follow behind Jonathan. The woods had an eerie mist floating just above the ground. I heard the leaves rustling and looked up to see a flock of birds fly away from the trees. As if they were as afraid as I was. There was not a path to follow and shrubs had over grown all over the place. Every step was crunchy as we lifted our legs high up and placed them down gently. We did not need to say it, to know that we were both scared. It was surprisingly dark the further we went in. Bushes were growing high up so everything blended in. I suddenly did not care who I was, I just wanted to go back.

 

I thought of the woman in white. The angel. She could have brought light to the forest to help me. I wished she were here again. She could show me the way. Show me who I was. "W-we should go back," I stuttered, "I don't like it here." "Okay we can go back but I want to look a little more." "Why?" I asked. I did not see any reason to stay here. It was late in the day and I did not want to get lost. "Because," he answered, "What if we find something?" "I don't think we want to find anything," I replied. I was so afraid I was now clutching Jonathan’s tunic so tight, I thought I might rip it clean off him.

 

"Everyone knows the forest is dangerous," I told him. He suddenly loosened from my grip and broke out into a sprint. I was so caught off guard that I screamed. A high-pitched howl into the darkness. Jonathan ran so fast that I was immediately left alone. I suddenly concluded that I was cursed. Cursed by the woods so that I would always be left alone. That was the only problem. A stupid curse that would stay with me all my life. Maybe the woman in white was a witch.

 

I did not want to believe she was my mother. When Eleanora gave me the idea, which I could have been left behind; I immediately blamed the woman in white. I thought she might be my mother. She just left me to forget who I was. What if I had died? I could not think about that now. Not here. The past was already gone. Somehow, it kept pulling me back. I was forever tethered to it and I could not cut the rope. It bothered me that I still thought about it. I should drop it but I just cannot.

 

My feet felt like they were glued to the ground. They were too heavy to lift. I yelled out Jonathans name repeatedly. Each cry disappearing into the trees. I started to cry. Why did I think this was a good idea? Was I so desperate to find out who I was that I would risk dying? Well obviously, I knew the answer. Flat-out undoubtedly yes. I was desperate and I was warned. I was well aware of the danger and I chose to look right past it. I put pressure on Jonathan to go with me. Now I might never see him again. I crouched down and hugged my knees into my chest. I started sobbing. I was panicking all over again. Except this time, I was not feeling hopeful. All I felt was helplessness. I needed Jonathan and I needed Eleanora. I did not need the mysterious woman in white.

---