Empty Castle

He built a beautiful castle,

set on a magnificent mountainside;

Furnished it with wonderful things

from all the world around.

Luxurious furnishings

and sumptuous fabrics,

art worthy of a museum,

books and music

of every genre'.

A kitchen built by a world class chef,

beautiful wood burning fire places,

unbelievable bathrooms,

a huge indoor pool and hot tubs.

Fresh flowers in every room,

and a staff of skilled servants

to keep it all perfect.

 

Then one day,

he woke up and realized,

his castle had become his prison.

And he was all alone

in it's hollow empty rooms.

 

Reviews

[Labtoad]

Very intriguing...you're drawn into this almost fantasy world and then *pow*

[augustmoon80]

This is wonderful. It goes by the old saying "Money can't buy happiness". If you don't have someone to love or have someone to love you back then you don't have anything.

[Rasteely]

I think that it's okay that you jump from a seemingly good situation to a bad one in such a short amount of time. It kind of jumped my brain awake a little and suprised me. I think it's pretty obvious why the castle became his prison, you don't need to add anything to explain it. He was alone without a family, or without a family that cared enough to spend time with him. So I like the quick jump.

[GamingGal]

Pros: You tell a good little story with good pieces of description sprinkled throughout. And the twist in the second stanza is definitely interesting.

Cons: I think you jump too fast into the second stanza. Tell us WHY he realized this, what made him realize this.

Overall: Pretty interesting.

[Crowley]

A tribute here to the things that matter. We can get so caught up in attaining "things" and weirdly so much is so attainable to so many, that we take the special stuff for granted. Would surely rather surround my self with family and people, we all say that, but so many of don't live that thought. Great writing.

[watch_the_world]

this is amazing :) very very good, very very like almost symbolic? if that makes sense.. :) Nice write I enjoyed this a lot :) Kept me wanting more Great GREAT write :)

[An owl on the moon]

What a profoundly moving story... Your words awaken a world of wonder and then take us into the prison of isolation.. of loneliness... I only longed for more...