Just a little or a lot

Two thin and two fat women, each with their own particular problems.

JUST A LITTLE OR A LOT

Whatever the weather, every Thursday afternoon the four women were at the same table. Melda and Rona were ladies of rather large proportions while Sonia and Freda were so thin it was a wonder to the more generously made that they didn’t blow away in a strong wind. They looked like two sets of twins, one set fat, the other thin.

Melda’s greatest weakness was shellfish. Once inside her front door she got undressed, put on more comfortable attire, went into the kitchen and got out all the shellfish that she could find in the fridge. Sitting at the kitchen table she was soon covered in the juices from the mouth-watering fare. Finding it difficult to move, somehow or other she managed to get to the sofa where she lay down. Letting out an enormous belch she crossed her hands over her huge stomach and fell asleep.

Rona knew all the cake shops in town. Anything gooey and creamy proved to be irresistible, she could never enter such a paradise without leaving with a box full of such temptations which were almost obscene with their abundance of chocolate, cream, and meringue. Living in fear of being seen eating such goodies, Rona hid inside cinemas and in fine weather in distant parks to indulge her sweet tooth. And even on arriving home she was still hungry.

The thin pair, Sonia and Freda, were observed by Melda and Rona closely as they stuffed themselves every Thursday. Their friends were fascinated by the way they just shovelled back the sandwiches and crisps and cakes in a very short time - and stayed slim. They didn’t know that Freda left work at lunchtime to go shopping and therefore she had avoided having lunch. On arriving home in the evening she had a cigarette and drank water. Freda’s fridge was practically empty.

Sonia liked hanging out and generally having a good time. After ending a disastrous marriage, she concentrated on not making the same mistake. She was still thinking about whether or not she fancied a man she had met at a cocktail party a couple of weeks ago. There were only diet drinks and biscuits in Sonia’s kitchen. Her ex-husband never understood this side of Sonia’s character, eventually he had left her for a fuller-figured woman.

The taxi driver who took Melda and Rona home on Thursdays had to put up with the silly remarks from the other drivers. He always took a good look at the back seat to see if their combined weight had caused any damage. The other drivers avoided them if it were possible.

Rona’s husband, Lawrence, was used to seeing her get up and go to the kitchen, making some sort of excuse when they both knew what she was up to. Eating. In the night she got up several times. One doctor had blamed her husband for the problem of the sweets and cakes. He had replied, ”She’s the one who is eating too much, don’t forget, doctor.”

The doctor answered, “You should pay her more attention.”

“What for? Don’t you agree she’s so fat she doesn’t deserve much attention. If she wants me to pay her more attention she’ll have to stop eating, and then we’ll have a chat.”

Lawrence thought about Sonia and Freda, and didn’t understand why Rona couldn’t be a bit more like them. Rona, in the kitchen, had her mouth full of chocolate sponge cake. It was almost orgiastic the way she consumed it.

In Melda’s house her husband, William, implored her, “Melda, move over, you’re taking up all the bed.” He pushed his huge wife towards the other side as best he could.

“You’re going to push me off. Don’t be silly.”

Her husband switched on the light and stared at the woman who had shared his life for the past fifteen years. “See how you take up all the bed! Either you move or I sleep on the sofa.”

“Can’t you see I can’t move any more. Half of my body’s out of the bed already.” Melda’s voice sounded like a lament.

Silently, William left the bedroom. Melda was frightened, but happily stretched out her big body that now covered almost all the bed.

William opened up the sofa, and from the drawer underneath pulled out a pillow, sheets, and a blanket, made himself a comfortable bed, and went to sleep. That was the last time Melda and William slept together.

On one occasion, when William had noticed how fat his wife was getting, he took her to a specialist.

“Madam, you are greedy. It isn’t an illness. It’s sheer greediness. You must stop eating so much. Your heart can’t put stand so much weight and one day you’ll have a heart attack.”

Melda’s reply to the doctor was, “Doctor, my grandmother and mother were the same as me. It must be hereditary. So don’t worry.”

William followed the doctor’s advice and, without letting on to Melda, he put slimming tablets in her food or drinks. Sometimes William gave the massive woman infusions to help her slim but the only thing he got out of it, was that Melda spent more time in the toilet. Now his wife made him feel ill. He saw her not as a human and much less as a wife.

Sonia always felt the cold and missed the heat of another body beside her to keep her warm and help her to relax. She heated a glass of milk with brandy and went to bed to read. She wasn’t sad, only hungry. She never cooked for Jon, her ex, and much less for herself. On the other hand she enjoyed the food on Thursday afternoons. It was the only solid food she had all week.

Michael, Freda’s husband, was pretending to read but was staring at her instead. Her reflection could be seen in three mirrors. “Am I fatter?”

“No, you’re still all right. Be very careful. You know I hate fat women.”

Freda thought about how much she had eaten that afternoon with her friends and she felt guilty. As soon as she had got home she took something to vomit it all up. Now she felt terrible. Michael was reading, Freda kissed him.

“Freda, don’t touch me while I’m reading. It’s not the right moment. I lose my concentration. Stop messing around.”

Freda said nothing. Michael had suitable moments and unsuitable moments. He was a rigidly disciplined man. Freda thought that Michael had every minute of the day counted for even for the most intimate things. This didn’t annoy Freda, it only made her laugh. It was easier to predict and understand a man like Michael, more than a spontaneous one.

At first sight they were an unlikely quartet. They had met ten years ago when on a special course about the Cinema. What did they have in common? They had all fallen in love with the man who taught them. The quartet soon realized what a shameless creature he was, so they decided to ditch his classes. The first time they had gone out together they had drunk a toast to the unknown woman who would one day make mincemeat out of him. He had taken advantage of the four of them in turn, and on seeing him with another they saw him for what he was.

Loneliness was also another link between them. Lies another.

At one of their Thursday dinners, Melda described William as having all the virtues possible. Sonia had seen them together one day, and the look on William’s face was that of a thoroughbred being accompanied by a mule. Sonia said nothing about this to anyone. Sonia’s lie was about food. To Rona’s question “Do you eat a lot?”

Sonia said, “Yes, a lot.” (without adding, but only on Thursdays)

Freda stared at the different dishes. Michael’s face appeared in her head, and Freda pulled her hand back feeling guilty.

Melda playing the part of ‘fat without knowing why’, as if destiny had decided to cover her body in fat. Melda always felt hot, even in winter, wore low-cut clothes and moaned that it was too hot for her. Sonia who was a skeleton never understood why Melda was so fat.

In spite of being so different, each one had her own obsession. That obsession was herself.

Rona’s life was full of frustrations. Her husband, Lawrence, didn’t do anything, he didn’t even touch her. “If you want me to get romantic with you, then lose those extra kilos. Sleeping with you is like sleeping with a whale.”

Rona pleaded, “Will you help me lose weight?”

“Of course not. Did I help you put on weight?”

“No, but I don’t think I can manage without help.”

Lawrence was more than fed up. “Without anyone’s help you have spent your life eating and getting fat, and then you have the cheek to ask for help. Sorry, you can’t count on me. If you really want to lose weight " you will.”

Rona stopped going to cake shops and told the others that she was on a diet. She became a member of a slimmers’ club to find the help and support she needed from others.

Little by little Rona started losing weight, but it was hard work. With the passing of time, Rona lost her spare tyres and discovered her bones. When she reached her desired weight she bought herself some glamorous nightwear.

Lawrence opened the door and nearly had a heart attack when two arms grabbed him by his clothes and dragged him into the bathroom.

“What’s going on here?” he asked.

“Now I’m at my ideal weight and you still don’t take any notice of me. We two are going to have a chat, just as you promised.”

“In the bathroom?”

“That’s to begin with. Then we’ll continue speaking in another place, when the water gets cold.”

Lawrence had to pay a high price for neglecting Rona. This was a new Rona, without the thick coat of fat to impede her. Rona was all energy. Lawrence was used to a boring life but now he felt he was in the midst of a cyclone. He had to give back to Rona ten years of neglect in one night. The morning following the storm Rona said to him, “At last you have behaved yourself as you should.”

And he declared, “At last I’m married to a real woman.”

The other three sensed something was happening, but not what. Melda was fatter than ever, and William had caught her with a plate of oysters and other sea food. He felt sad and angry at the same time. Why did he have to be the one who had married someone who only knew how to eat? He should have placed her in a slimming clinic or taken her to a psychiatrist years ago. Now it was too late.

William got home, there was no sign of sea food or Melda. He put an ear to the bedroom door and heard the old familiar sounds of belching and snoring. At eleven he listened at the bedroom door again, he heard the same sounds as before. He went into the living-room and opened up the sofa bed.

“William! William! Help me! I’m drowning. Please come.” Melda couldn’t breath, her face was pouring with sweat. The darkness in the bedroom frightened her. She was drowning. She tried to raise her enormous body. Melda’s arms couldn’t hold her up and she fell against the pillows. She then tried to turn over, but was unable to place one leg over the other. Melda started crying, “William, please help me!” The tears fell from the two holes in the fat on her face. Time and again Melda made an effort to get up from the bed but her efforts were useless. With every attempt she got tired and her voice became a whisper. In one last try she rolled over to one side but it cost her a lot. It cost her her life. Melda died lying on one side and with her mouth open.

William found her at breakfast time the next morning. He rang the doctor, and for an ambulance.

Now there were three. They were meeting for the first time, a month after Melda’s funeral. Rona was healthy and happy for having lost the layers of fat. Sonia was as thin as ever. Freda was neurotic because Michael had said he would leave her if she put on a gram of weight. They were talking. “Do you think Melda could have saved herself from her situation?” Sonia asked the other two.

Freda replied, “This is impossible to know now, but I don’t think so.”

Rona was convinced that William had something to do with what had happened. “I think William is not entirely free of blame in this case.”

At the funeral the three friends had expressed their condolences to William.

“I don’t think William had anything to do with Melda’s being fat,” Sonia said.

Freda and Rona stared at her in surprise by the tone of her voice.

“Now Melda’s gone, it ‘s better to let her go. Let’s talk about something else,” Freda didn’t want to talk about sad things, with her own story she had enough.

Rona treated them to another coffee. They spoke no more about Melda. The death of the unlucky woman had broken their circle, each one was tied up in their own thoughts.

Rona looked at her watch, “I must leave, it’s getting late. I don’t like to keep Lawrence waiting for his dinner.” Kissing the others on their cheeks, she hurried off.

“Don’t you think it’s strange that Rona feels nothing, or at least she doesn’t show it?” Freda asked as they both watched her run towards a taxi.

“She’s probably frightened thinking of what might have happened to her if she hadn’t gone on a diet,” Sonia replied.

Freda looked at Sonia, “I have to go too. You aren’t in a hurry, are you?”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re alone, and under no obligation to anyone other than yourself.”

Sonia thought to herself what an idiot Freda was. “You’re right, but I don’t see why you call it an obligation having a man at home. It should be a pleasure.”

“Sonia, don’t make me laugh, saying silly things at your age and after a divorce. I’m off, see you around.” And Freda left Sonia standing alone on the pavement.

And we were friends? Sonia wondered to herself.

And that was the end of the quartet.

“Were you very good friends?” William asked Sonia.

“That’s what I thought, but after the last meeting I don’t think so.”

William and Sonia were in the country. Nine months had passed since the last meeting with Freda and Rona. One day William had seen Sonia in the street and as he knew she was alone he had rung her.

The weather was not good enough to sit on the grass much longer, but it was their only chance to be alone. A cold breeze began to blow, and Sonia shivered with cold. William thought of Melda. How different they were!

Standing up, William took Sonia by the hand to help her stand up. “Do you feel cold?”

“A bit,” Sonia shivered away.

William put an arm around her. Seeing no objection from her, William kissed her.

“Why didn’t I do that before?” William asked.

“You know the answer to that, not me.” Sonia said.

“Have I spoilt the afternoon?”

“Of course you haven’t.”

That day William decided to marry Sonia, and live with her in her flat, far from the memories of Melda.