I Can See You

Following the family from afar.

 

I CAN SEE YOU

 

The wind was fresh, nothing could be heard but the sound of air around him. He was in a great vacuum. There were no colours, nor smells, only the wind. Everything was passing by at a speed too great to be able to distinguish any shape. The speed never changed, it had started off at a certain velocity and it kept it up, it never changed to either more or less. It was always the same. Time didn’t exist. The only reality was that pushing wind. The strangest thing of all was the lack of fatigue or weariness. He was simply there, in that place, without feeling anything special.

The many lights were directed to the body on top of the bed.

“When are you going to wake up? I want to speak to you,” Michael said.

The body on the bed didn’t move or do anything. The men in the room spoke amongst themselves. Then they said something to the nurses. The men left the room. Now there was no one else in the room except a woman in white, sitting beside a bed with white linen. The walls were white, and the lamp that accentuated the whiteness was the final touch.

 

 Michael began to speak to the nurse, “Listen to me please, can you wake up my wife? I’ve got to speak to her.” The nurse didn’t appear to have heard him. Michael stayed where he was, looking at his wife, Barbara. Sooner or later she would have to wake up. Meanwhile I’ll go outside and see what’s happening there. Maybe someone will pay attention to me.

Michael saw many people seated on benches in the corridor. The most surprising thing of all was that his mother was there, together with Barbara’s parents, and his two sons. What are they doing here?

Michael passed by right in front of his mother, “Hello, Mother, why are you so sad?”

Michael’s mother showed the same lack of reaction as the nurse had done. That’s all right, don’t talk to me, and he approached his sons. Both of them had reddened eyes with an empty stare. Michael, saw they were so sad that he touched them on their shoulders, but they weren’t aware of their father’s presence. Michael got a bit annoyed and returned to his wife’s room. The nurse was still sitting on a chair near the table. At the moment Michael entered, the nurse was writing something on a piece of paper. He went up to her and peered over her shoulder, the woman took no notice of him and continued writing.

At the top of the paper was the name Barbara Long, age thirty-five, observations: concussion and some broken ribs.

The ribs must have been operated on and she was still under the effects of the anaesthetic.

Michael continued reading and then he got to the words ‘road traffic accident’. But what was Barbara doing in the car and where was she going?

Barbara moved slightly in the bed. The nurse got up and went over to the bed and took her pulse and temperature. Michael stayed staring, with a calmness that was completely unknown to him. “How’s my wife?” he asked the nurse. Not even the nurse paid him any attention. In desperation and to attract the nurse’s attention Michael picked up a chair. It was then that the door opened and one of the doctors who had been there before entered. Michael shouted at the doctor, “How is my wife?” The doctor ignored him and went on talking to the nurse. Barbara’s eyes slowly opened looked round the room and then at the nurse and the doctor. Michael put his hands over hers. Barbara didn’t respond.

For some minutes the doctor and Barbara were speaking. Barbara it seemed couldn’t believe her ears and tears fell from her eyes. At the beginning Michael heard the murmuring of their voices but little by little the sound turned into silence. In one more effort to attract her attention, Michael sat down on a chair beside her, but it was useless, nobody saw him.

A fog began to surround Michael, and the details of the room, including Barbara, the doctor, and the nurse, gradually disappeared until the only thing remaining was a dense, cold fog that covered everything.

 

Michael was above his house. He wasn’t alone but was accompanied by Victor, an old friend. Since he had realised his new situation, and that he wasn’t alone, he had adapted quite well. His friend Victor had said to him on several occasions, “I don’t understand why you have to go and see them every five minutes. There are a lot of more interesting things to be done.” Michael hadn’t got used to seeing his family without him. Not just that they were without him, but that they were happy. That made him very angry.

Michael’s first visits were on Fridays. He didn’t approve of Barbara letting the boys, Christopher and Frederick, go to discos and cafes that he had prohibited. To make sure that nothing happened to them, Michael went with them. Once they had got into a fight with other boys and had arrived home with bruises and torn clothing. Barbara had spoken to them, but Michael on seeing that when she moved her lips and made gestures with her hands that the boys took no notice of her, made him decide to intervene the next time it happened.

 

It was midday one Saturday. Snow had fallen during the night and the sky was now clear. Barbara was in the living-room but she wasn’t alone. Michael didn’t recognise the other woman for a while, but when she turned her head a few minutes later, he saw that it was Victor’s wife with a new hairdo. The two women were drinking something hot. Probably tea or coffee, thought Michael. The sound of their voices didn’t go through the window panes, but something in their gestures and the expressions on their faces aroused Michael’s intuition. Something big had happened. He tried to get nearer the window but he was unable to and had to be content with staying outside at the mercy of the elements, looking at the two women seated in the warm. While Michael was observing his old home he noticed that Victor’s wife had put on her coat and was now standing up. Barbara was moving her head. It’s obvious that they have come to an agreement about something, thought Michael, and at the same time was hoping they would leave the living-room and then the house. But he saw that his wishes were not to be when suddenly everything disappeared. I’ll tell Victor and see if I can find anything out from him.

Michael didn’t say anything because he completely forgot about it. It’s strange how my memory is letting me down lately. He said to himself.

 

Michael’s sons were the typical ones who were always fighting, which was very upsetting for Barbara, but very amusing for the boys. After the usual telling off about the way they treated their clothes badly, the two brothers were up in their bedroom talking about it. Michael decided he would have to go into action, as he didn’t like the way his sons were growing up.

Christopher and Frederick had left school for home twenty minutes before, but they were still with a group of other boys of the same age. It would be difficult to say who had given the first blow, but it was enough to know that in a very short time all the boys were exchanging blows. Michael didn’t think his sons were any better or worse than the other boys, but they should have been home a long time ago. A boy went for Christopher but Michael stepped in between them.. The boy couldn’t reach Michael’s son, he only found empty air. The reactions of the other boys were to be expected. They began insulting one another and so Michael went in search of Frederick. This time he managed to prevent his son from hitting another boy. So then there were more boys insulting one another. If they aren’t on their way home before I count ten, I’ll have to think of something else. Michael started counting up to ten but before he finished, all the boys had got tired of fighting and started to pick up their things. Soon all of them were on their way home. Michael followed his two boys home and waited until Barbara arrived.

Barbara’s home, and the boys, reflected a certain untidiness, like a ship without a captain or a company without a managing director. It wasn’t that everything was in a mess, but it was to be found in the mother and sons’ behaviour, and then there was dust where there shouldn’t be any, books left in armchairs, and the ironing left undone and kept in a  cupboard until there was no solution but to doing the ironing. Michael saw that his sons took no notice of their mother, or anyone.

 

One winter morning, at six o’clock, Barbara woke up - without knowing why. It was still dark and very cold, indoors everyone was very nice and warm. Barbara switched on the light and seeing the time on the alarm clock switched off the light to go back to sleep. A few minutes later the bedroom light was once again switched on. This time she got up, put on her dressing gown, and went to the kitchen. Barbara began picking up everything that the boys had thrown onto the floor. When the kitchen clearing up was over, Barbara went from room to room tidying up until it was all done.

That morning the boys got up and saw that everything was prepared. There was no morning disaster of looking for books and clothes. Barbara left, after them, to go to work. One thing had finished and another had begun, but Barbara was unaware of either of them. Michael had seen everything and thought if they can continue in this way they won’t have so many problems. At least Barbara has taken the first step towards life with a more positive attitude. Let’s see what else I can do to help her.

 

Those boys watch too much television and Barbara does nothing to avoid it. Michael had been observing his sons for a long time, and he didn’t like what he saw at all. Now that the fights were not so frequent, Christopher and Frederick instead of wasting time in the street with their friends after school had chosen to go home, and straight away have something to eat and then watch television. The fact that it was still midwinter was one more reason to be happier at home than in the street. Every afternoon when Barbara arrived home she had to pull out the plug on the television and send the boys to their room to do their homework. Barbara liked watching television, and after dinner she sat down to watch something before going to bed.

 

Both boys had prepared a sandwich and were sitting on the sofa waiting for their programme to begin. Nothing happened! There was no image on the screen. They looked at each other not knowing what to do. They went up to the set to see if anything strange had happened, such as a loose cable or a loose screw on the floor, but to the boys’ eyes nothing was out of order. They were rather frightened as Barbara would probably blame them, so the two went to their respective bedrooms to do their homework. What a surprise Barbara had when on arriving home found her sons were both doing their homework! Of course there was an argument, with the boys repeating over and over again that they had not touched the television. Barbara was in a bad mood as she wanted to see a film. The mother and her two sons after having dinner closed the kitchen door, switched off the light and each one went to their bedroom with a book.

The following day an employee from the television repair company went to Barbara’s home to take a look. Before Barbara’s eyes he removed all the interior of the television. Carefully, he examined every piece. It was all in good condition. Once everything was back in its place it still didn’t work. The repair man examined the aerial. Nothing wrong there either! Barbara asked him some questions but the repair man was unable to answer her, and then he left the house with a look of confusion on his face.

The boys asked Barbara why there was no television. Michael saw Barbara’s lips form the words “atmospheric disturbance.” For the boys this was not at all good news, but as there was nothing else to do they got out some games from a cupboard and began to play. Barbara and her sons played together till it was bedtime. Soon, that there was no solution as far as the television was concerned, Barbara and the children went to the library to look for books to take home. The three members of the small family didn’t seem upset by the fact that there was no television, and they soon got engrossed in reading.

The technician from the television repair company returned to Barbara’s house on several occasions with different television sets, which worked well in any other house except hers. Barbara conformed to the breakdown of the precious old TV, and covered it up with a cloth just as if it were a bird cage. In this way the presence of the useless set was no longer an annoyance.

 

Barbara’s loneliness was a problem for Michael. On Saturdays and Sundays Barbara spent her time doing the things she was unable to do during the week. The two boys went out to play and didn’t return till it was dusk and time for dinner. Although his sons were leading a more disciplined and healthier life in Michael’s eyes, Barbara had a lot of empty moments in hers. One Saturday afternoon she saw a notice in the library about evening classes. Barbara felt an urge to go to the information office, where she was given a pamphlet.

On Sunday Barbara looked through the pamphlet several times. Michael thought that it would be better if she chose something to help her in her job. Every time she began to do something, she felt the need to look at the pamphlet again. Michael paid attention to Barbara and his sons all that day. On Monday, after work Barbara went to the education centre where the evening classes were given. What was his surprise when he saw she had opted for computer classes instead of economics, which she had underlined. Michael felt satisfied with her choice.

While Barbara attended evening classes, Michael watched over the boys. Due to the closeness of mother and children, the old problems no longer existed; bit by bit each one was finding their space and place inside the family.

 

One night a man unknown to the boys, accompanied Barbara home. Michael was still watching the boys when the car arrived with Barbara and the stranger. Michael didn’t know him but he suspected he was after something.

Michael didn’t see his family for a while and when he went back he was more than surprised to see the stranger’s car outside ‘his’ house. Christopher and Frederick were talking in their bedroom. From where Michael was, it looked as if the two brothers didn’t get on with this type at all. That night the man stayed at the house. He was in the guest room. At least things hadn’t gone too far, even though he had taken the first step. He had already got one foot in the door. Michael was very decided to cut his wings. A nocturnal silence reigned in the house, where the only sounds that could be heard were from a wood or a soul in pain. Michael felt fine. Making sure that Barbara and the boys were asleep, he went into the room where the shameless one was snoring. He bet Barbara didn’t know about the snoring, and approached the bed. Gently, Michael began to pull the bed clothes off the bed. In a few minutes the top sheet and blankets were piled up on the floor. In spite of the central heating, the man missed the heat of the bed-clothes, and woke up. On trying to pick them up, he found they were stuck to the floor. The man jumped off the bed to remake it, but it was impossible for him to grab hold of the tiniest bit of sheet or blanket. As time passed he began to feel tired and cold.

Barbara was woken up by the blows on her bedroom door. The man took her to see the problem. Michael was near the pile of bed-clothes still on the floor. Barbara went up to the bed-clothes and picked up the sheets and blankets with no difficulty. Throwing the man an icy glare she left the room. In the short time the man had been with his back to the bed, the bed clothes had piled up on the floor again. When he turned round to get into the bed he couldn’t believe his eyes. This time Barbara took no notice of the noise, but the boys did. They left their bedroom to see what was happening and saw the visitor fighting with the air. Barbara then came out of her room too, and the man had to face six accusing eyes. Barbara and her sons returned to their bedrooms, leaving him alone. That man never went back to their home, much to the satisfaction of the three.

 

Barbara’s exams were a success and as a result was given a better post in the same company. She now no longer needed to look for economic stability in a man, she was able to do that for herself. The boys were not so difficult as before, and Michael began to think that he could now rest in peace. I am getting really tired, he thought many times.

 

One Sunday afternoon a man arrived at the house. He carried a bunch of flowers in one hand and a small packet in the other. Barbara had been expecting him and was waiting for him. She opened the front door as soon as he knocked. He handed the two presents to Barbara. From his lookout post Michael could see the guest and the woman were sitting on the sofa in the living-room. They each held a glass. The atmosphere in the room was warm and welcoming, with the setting sun launching a rosy golden shine from the window panes. Due to the sun, Michael had to resign himself to not being able to see anything more than that strange light reflected in the windows.

Just as Michael was about to leave, he saw Christopher and Frederick arrive home. For one brief moment when Barbara opened the front door, Michael could see the happy way the boys entered their home. The door closed.

 

Now at last you can look after yourselves without me, even though I’ll be watching you from time to time - just in case. Now I can rest in peace.

 

The house disappeared, and then nothing.