Kim is Warren

As the title suggests, this is tale about a problem of identity, together with its solution.

 

KIM IS WARREN

WARREN IS KIM

 

“If I were a man I wouldn’t let people treat me like that.” These same words Warren had to listen to every time he arrived home with a work problem.

If only I weren’t a man I would be calm at home, thought Warren many times. “You don’t know what you’re saying ,” he said to his wife. “You working for other people, don’t make me laugh. You’re used to being the queen, the economist, the cook, altogether the all powerful of this house. The governor of my life and yours, and you come out with words that make no sense, because they will never come to fruition. Although I’d love to see you confront the boss. I don’t know which of you would have to be the first one to give in, you or him. It would be a fight on even territory.”

How on earth could I have married such a soft man? At that moment Kim was preparing the dinner and as usual her thoughts were all over the place.

 

Kim and Warren had got married when he still had the physical attributes that attracted women. Kim was slim with a long, blond mane of hair. She had about her an invisible air of the promise of sexual wildness. From the beginning Kim had been aroused by Warren’s placid character. He was a challenge for her. A man to be conquered and dominated. Her vital strength had overwhelmed Warren. Six months later they realized (without mentioning it to each other) they were in opposite positions.

With the passing of time, Kim was left yearning for sex and he was under verbal and sexual attacks from her. And so there they were in the matrimonial bed every night, Warren not knowing how to please her and Kim having to take the initiative if she wanted anything.

 

Day after day Warren saw that his hairy chest was less abundant, till one day there was nothing left there at all. What can I do? Maybe it’s a tropical disease, he thought to himself.

Warren kept the secret of the loss of his hairy chest to himself. Kim saw that short, curly hairs were appearing between her breasts. With a pair of tweezers, Kim was continuously pulling them out. After a while all her bust was covered in hair and as it was so painful and slow pulling it out with the tweezers she resorted to using wax. Although it was very painful at least the hair didn’t grow back so fast. Her breasts had reduced in size and her bras no longer fitted and her breasts danced inside them instead of keeping them in their place.

 

The double bed was covered with Kim’s underwear. Warren was trying on his wife’s bras. Really, women have much prettier things than men, he thought as tried on one model of silk and lace. Warren’s breasts had grown considerably and he didn’t know what to do with them. Nobody knew the secret yet, he hadn’t told anyone. Warren and Kim’s sexual life had stopped with the loss of the hair on his chest, but she didn’t appear to be very enthusiastic either.

 

Kim saw that the cursed hair was growing on her face. The beautician recommended laser as the most permanent way of freeing herself of the beard. The treatment was expensive and depressing. Alone in the bathroom every afternoon on returning from the shops, Kim cried. She was fed up with the bad luck that destiny had sent her.

Warren’s back was too broad to close the bra easily. One more time. Breath in deeply. That’s it. I’ve got it on. I don’t look so bad. It’s better than wobbling all over the place.

Kim saw him before he saw her. The surprise she had on seeing Warren wearing one of her bras and playing around in front of the mirror would have been more shocking if she hadn’t had her own secrets. Therefore, she shut the bedroom door discreetly. She still wasn’t prepared to speak about what was happening to them both.

Warren had the fear of being discovered by Kim in his throat. He had heard the opening and closing of the door and he was not in any condition yet to see anyone. What is she going to think if she sees me wearing her underwear. She’s going to think the worst. And the worst is actually happening to me. Poor Kim. Her husband isn’t what he was.

Feeling ghastly and horrible, Warren picked up and folded all the intimate things of his wife and put them away back in their drawer. He had written down the sizes of some of them and to take with him to the underwear shop.

 

Kim would not allow Warren to come close to her without telling her first. Alone in the bathroom with the problems of a changing body. Looking at her breasts with the faint hair, Kim received another blow. Was it possible! Warren has a bigger bust than me. How revolting! What’s happening to us?

Kim was sitting in an armchair pretending to be interested in some article or other in a magazine and he was on the sofa looking at television without concentrating on the story of the film. Kim tried not to look at Warren and he made out as if everything around him was invisible. She didn’t want Warren to catch her staring at him just in case he could guess her thoughts. What were these thoughts?

Kim got up and went to the telephone in the hall. There were some telephone directories in the cupboard. She got yellow pages, and returned to the living-room. Warren thought, Who’s she going to ring? But he continued watching the television. She looked for the letter D for doctor. Kim didn’t find what she was looking for. She then went to the letter P for the word psychologist. She wasn’t sure what she was looking for. She wanted answers.

Warren’s mind was flying all over the place, he had a sense of fear watching Kim going through the yellow pages. He became nervous that it had something to do with him, then he was unable to wait any more, “What are you looking for?”

Kim breathed in, “Nothing.”

It was as if the two of them were stepping on eggs. Fear was growing by moments.

 

In bed the distance and coldness were also increasing, each one fearing the caress of the other, but at the same time desiring it so as to share the agony.

She thought, he must suspect something. Warren is a sweet lover, not aggressive but he’s never let so much time pass without coming closer to me. Perhaps he’s got another problem due to my way of behaving lately. And if there is nothing else, maybe he knows I’m not the woman he got married to. If I tell him everything will he hate me? Will he feel repulsion? Distressed and with tears that were impossible to hide, Kim hid her face in the pillow, pretending she was asleep.

What’s the matter with Kim? She has always been an affectionate woman and suddenly she won’t let me get near her. It must be her age. It can’t be another man. And if it is because I lack hair, and my chest has got bigger. It must be the scientists’ fault. Every day more forbidden additives are found in food. I’d love to know where these changes in me come from. “Kim, you haven’t kissed me for a long time?”

His wife would have liked the pillow to swallow her up. “Yes, I know.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Warren, don’t insist. Leave it alone, please.”

Warren wasn’t happy with Kim’s reply, and neither was Kim.

So this way another night was passed without speaking about the sorry matter.

 

Warren did nothing at work to attract attention. He dedicated himself to the office routine more than usual. He didn’t trust himself. I can betray myself at any moment. Sometimes when his work mates were talking about a film or an article in a magazine, about any sexual aberration or deviation, Warren remained silent.

At home it was easier to relax as Kim didn’t come near him and Warren didn’t suffer so much.

Kim had all day to think and fall into a deep depression. Something is happening to us and one of us has to put the cards on the table, or if not we’ll become like two fugitives under the same roof. Fugitives from ourselves and from life itself.

Warren kept certain books that he had bought in a specialized bookshop, which were in the box of his new shoes. The books hadn’t helped him much and he was convinced that a curse was hanging over him. Kim found the books and took them to the kitchen where she made herself comfortable with a cup of coffee and began to read.

Half an hour before Warren was due home, Kim put the books back in their hiding-place.

 

The bedroom was in total darkness. Kim’s exploring hands travelled over Warren’s inert body. He tried to reject them but the hands didn’t take any notice, they went on exploring. A long silence. Warren thought to himself, she’s got tired of getting me worked up. Better like this. What a shame I like it so much.

What is Warren’s secret? I have to know now! Kim thought to herself. Suddenly the bedroom was lit up.

“Warren you’ve got nearly as much breast as me.”

In a very feeble voice Warren replied to her, “I’ve got more than you.” Both of them were silent and then a sob escaped from Kim. Warren stared at her, “What’s the matter? Why are you crying?”

It was now or never, Kim braved it through “Look at me, look at my face, at my bust.”

Warren did as she asked.

With an impatient tone in her voice, Kim said, “Closer. Now do you see?”

“I can see your cutis appears a bit rougher.”

“And what about my bust?”

Due to the wax treatment the hairs on Kim’s chest were very much finer that those that Warren had had, but they could still be seen. “You’ve got some hairs on your body . That’s nothing strange. There are hairy women, you know.”

“How silly you are. You’ve got what you shouldn’t have and I’ve got what you have lost. Why?”

“Turn off the light, Kim. Now is not the moment to talk about these things.”

“Are you afraid to talk?”

“No. I’m afraid of not being in the right mood to talk now. It’s necessary to think a lot.”

“Warren, you don’t feel repulsion, do you?”

“Towards you, no.”

 

That night was the first step towards a new life. While Kim became more manly, Warren showed himself to be much more of a woman. The sweetness that he had in him had been a subject of gossip among his work mates no longer gave him problems. Kim’s aggressiveness and the old resentments towards Warren for being so soft were now complemented.

The office got more troublesome every day. Warren’s nerves were on edge. He spoke less and less with the rest of the staff, and it got so bad that the boss called him in to speak to him about it. “Warren, is there some problem at work?”

“No, sir.” But he thought this one wants to put me in a corner and place me under interrogation.

“Er. I see that your behaviour is not exactly friendly. Have your workmates annoyed you?”

“No, Sir.”

“Your marriage all right?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“I see that you don’t want to tell me anything. But anyway I don’t like your attitude. You do your work well, but you have to be a bit friendlier with the rest, don’t you think, Warren?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Well, I hope to see you happier and more content. You can go now.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

 

“Do you think he suspects something, Warren?”

They were in the living-room talking with the television was switched on with little volume. “I don’t know, But I can assure you that sooner or later we’ll have to do something before it upsets us.”

“After all, it’s not our fault,” Kim answered.

Warren noticed that her voice was deeper. Then he thought that his voice must be higher.

“We’ll have to think about moving house,” Kim went on.

“What are you talking about? How are we going to survive?” Warren knew that Kim was right, but moving would be the acceptation of the situation which so far had been put off. “Have you thought about how I’m going to find work?”

Kim hadn’t wasted any time. At the moment of he mutual discovery she had taken the initiative and she went looking for all kinds of details of houses and work in other places. “Warren I don’t want to see any kind of doctor. I have thought a lot and have observed you. You aren’t happy and therefore every day it is more difficult for you to pretend otherwise, so we have to move.”

Warren knew that Kim was right but at the same time, he was afraid. Leaving would be like making a public confession. Warren wasn’t sure whether or not he could do it.

“Warren you don’t need to say anything to anyone. We just go and that’s it.”

“You say it as if it’s that easy. Go to a new place and start again from scratch. How? Who are you? Who am I? Wherever we go we’ll attract attention.”

“People attract attention because they want to. If nothing is said, how is anyone going to find out? Warren, come on, it’s the best way and the only way out for us.”

“Being a man favours you much more than it did me. Maybe destiny hasn’t treated us so badly after all.”

“That’s it, you have to be more practical and positive. You’ll see, Warren, everything will turn out fine.”

 

Kim dedicated herself to finding a job. She was happy being the ‘man’ of the house, looking into the future for the two of them.

Warren who was more defenceless than ever, asked Kim every day how the search was going. “The day I leave the office for ever, I’m going to be the happiest person in the world.”

Kim never said anything to him but she saw he was more and more on the edge of a nervous breakdown, and was going to be discovered by the others at work, a fact which could destroy him. She hadn’t been afraid of her self changing, only of Warren’s rejection, which hadn’t happened. She had adapted much quicker than him to the situation, and now with him so delicate, she was trying to solve it the best way possible.

 

The odd couple caused no more than a passing interest.  Kim got the job as a coffee-bar manager, which doubled as an ice cream parlour in the summer. Warren helped her. In their new home, far away from the previous one, Warren and Kim began a new life.

Seated on a bench in the park with a small white dog, Warren didn’t agonize any more over his identity. I am Warren and I’m a woman. And the whistles from men confirmed this.

 

One night, naked in the bedroom, Kim said to Warren without any reservation, “Now I am you, and you are me. We are each other.”

 

Reviews

[Esana Bridges]

Wow. This is really interesting - like I've heard of women and men exchanging roles, but exchanging roles to even the physical properties - mostly, it's not talked about that often.

I really liked this piece. It was a bit weird, but sweet. I thought that most of the character interactions were really believable, although Warren's first big dialogue seemed a bit unrealistic to me. Consider making it a bit more simplistic, because most people don't talk like that.

Also, think about italicizing the inner thoughts of Warren and Kim to make it more clear.

I like how you showed us some things instead of telling us - for example, Kim reading the Warren's magazines was a nice touch. I also like Kim and Warren's interactions and their thoughts about each other. It was really sweet and showed me that they really did love each other, especially at the end.