Her New Boyfriend

How to find true love - or not.

HER NEW BOYFRIEND

 

Kristen’s new goal in life was to find the perfect man. He had to have certain qualities that her previous boyfriend hadn’t had. He had to respect her, care for her, and love her better than the one before had. Kristen was no longer in her prime, she kept her looks going by colouring her hair regularly and keeping herself slim, but as time passed she knew that her search for the ideal man would be fraught with unhappiness and frustration, as all the decent ones had been nabbed many years ago. She and her friends, Helen and Jill, were to be seen out together most weekends, because their other friends were married or living with a long-term partner. They knew it was not the done thing, to burst in on another person’s life if they were already with someone. There was an unwritten rule that once someone was in a relationship, they were left to one side, which meant they were to be treated with respect, and their partner too. It was only when an old friend was free again, that they could be approached for lunches and dinners and of course afternoons shopping. Kristen had got it into her head that she deserved the perfect boyfriend. The only problem was that she had never met anyone approximating such perfection. To get a man wasn’t that difficult, but sooner or later they would end up disappointing her and her friends. Helen thought that most men were not tuned into women at all, and that all they wanted - they got, because the majority of women let them have it. Jill’s attitude was that the idea of respecting women was anathema to most men, so they continued behaving in the age-old cave-man style handed down through the ages. Generally speaking the trio was very successful, the only thing lacking was a man, but not just any man.

It was holiday time, and they each decided to work on some kind of plan, without telling one another, so that there would be no jealousy or envy. Each one would work by herself and see what she could find that was worth the trouble.

 

Kirsten went away to a holiday village by the beach in southern France. It was full of beautiful men and women and some children, who rather spoiled things, due to the whining and screaming. With all that noise, managing to get a romantic encounter would be rather difficult. Never mind, thought Kirsten, now ‘being there’ was the main thing, and she would have to take her chances and see what talent there was going.

There was one special looking member of the male species that she fancied, so she went up to him on the beach, “Hello, I’m Kirsten, and I’d like to invite you to a drink in that small bar over there.”

The object of her advance looked at her, and gave her a weak smile, “I’m Andrew, thanks very much. I suppose you include my children too.”

His reply wasn’t the one she had expected to hear, so Kirsten limited herself to saying, “Do you mean to tell me all those children are yours?” pointing to a group of children aged between seven and eleven years, shouting and running around on the sand, in and out of the sea.

“Well they’re not all mine strictly, two are mine and the rest belong to my sister.”

“Where’s your wife?” Kirsten asked the handsome man who was beginning to get on her nerves because he didn’t tell the children to be quiet. “She’s not here, but on another beach with her boyfriend.”

Kirsten thought to herself that life wasn’t fair. There she was, chatting up a divorced man with children, his and his sister’s, and his ex-wife having a good time with a new boyfriend. Something was wrong somewhere. Kirsten rang up Helen to tell her but got an engaged signal, so she rang up Jill and got the same. Everyone was having a good time - except her.

Her would-be beach conquest was still standing waiting for an answer, but Kirsten wasn’t into being surrounded by children, especially when not one of them was hers. “Sorry to have disturbed you, but I feel tired and I’m going up to my room for a sleep. We may see each other later at dinner. Bye for now.”

The man with the family was at a loss for words, and simply said, “See you later.”

For the rest of her holiday Kirsten avoided men with families and yet it always seemed to her they were the best looking. What was a woman to do?

 

Helen had taken it into her head to spend her summer holidays in the mountains, and see all the wild animals she could, without being attacked. The woods were full of strange sounds, and at night, when everybody was inside their tents, it proved hard at times for her not to lose control and burst into tears with fear, or pack her rucksack and go back home. There was another side to Helen’s outdoors experience, and that was the food. The problem of eating and cooking on a camp fire was new and odd to her. The camp organizers said it was a good thing to look for food in the woods and fields.

“How shall we know what is good and what is poisonous?” Helen, all innocent, asked.

Some of the group began laughing at her, as if she was nothing short of being the local idiot. “I’m sorry if I’m letting the group down, but I’m not going to pretend I know things about the countryside when I really don’t, and that’s why I came on this holiday, to try and learn something.” Of course, Helen said nothing about trying to hook a man, and on second thoughts she was glad she had said nothing about her ulterior reason for being there.

Lance, who considered himself the head of the group, said, “It’s OK, Helen. You can come with me and I’ll show you what to look out for, so that none of us have to be sent back to civilization in a helicopter because of ptomaine poisoning. Has everyone got a partner? Then off we go.”

What Helen and Lance didn’t know, was that Louise, one of the other females on the holiday, had already earmarked Lance for herself, and seeing him go off with Helen - whom she considered an idiot - made her cringe. A couple of the men who had to hook up with the rest of the women, had fancied Helen before Lance had stepped in. Unknown to both Helen and Lance, there was a lot of jealousy hanging in the air, together with the smells of the plants and flowers. Helen wasn’t happy at having been picked out by Lance to be his partner on the hunt for food in the woods. She had been on the point of leaving when the food hunt had been suggested. As the group set out, Helen felt less like going into the woods, and said so to Lance, “Lance, I’m not up to hunting for food and searching out edible fungi and all the other plants. It’s just not me, that’s all. See you later.”

“What do you think you’re going to eat if you don’t look for it or hunt it? Those who don’t look, won’t get a meal,” Lance told her.

Helen out-gazed him, and said, “I don’t care about that. Where there’s a will there’s a way. Enjoy the hunt and the ramble through the woods. Bye.” Helen said, longing to run out of the countryside and get back to the noise and pollution as soon as she was able to get a lift to the nearest railway station. The other members of the group couldn’t believe their eyes, when they saw Helen run off back to the camp. Lance wasn’t standing alone for long, and soon found himself with Louise standing in front of him, saying, “Never mind her. She doesn’t know how to have a good time. I’ll be your partner on the food hunt.”

Lance disengaged her, and said, “Oh, no you won’t. I’m not so keen on going now, and as none of you are children, and some even have a small amount of knowledge, then I have no qualms in letting you get on with it.” He pushed passed by Louise and went after Helen.

Lance saw Helen going into her tent and followed her in.

She turned on hearing him behind her. “What do you think you’re doing here?” Helen asked him angrily.

“You don’t need to leave just because you’re not up to the country code.”

“I’m leaving, and going back to my small flat where I feel nice and safe away from animal noises and having to hunt for my food. I’m happy going to the supermarket in my street to get my food and other sundries. I don’t get a kick out of having to grope around in the undergrowth for anything. The only plants I have anything to do with are the geraniums on my balcony.”

Lance stared, and said, “Come on. Let’s go back to the city together. You’re the first woman who has had the honesty to say what she really feels and thinks about the countryside. I feel you’re rather exaggerating, hunting around is quite exciting, but from the look on your face I think I wouldn’t be able to convince you.”

“Why have you decided to come back with me and not stay behind with Louise? She really fancies you.”

“It takes two to fancy each other, and I don’t fancy her in the slightest. Louise needs a bag carrier type of man, and I’m not into that. Are you ready to leave? My bag’s already packed and in the jeep. Come on, let’s get going before there’s a downpour.”

“How is it you’re ready so fast?” Helen asked.

“I was getting more than fed up with Louise’s attentions. I like to choose who I go out with. I don’t like being chased after. Her behaviour was more like stalking. Didn’t you notice?”

“No, I’m afraid I didn’t. I was feeling the whole idea of this holiday was one very big mistake on my part. How long will it take to get back to town?” Helen asked, feeling rather tired.

“Not long. A couple of hours. Enough time to get to know each other better,” Lance said, giving her his most dashing smile - something that Louise had never seen.

 

Unlike Kristen and Helen, Jill preferred to spend her money on her flat and not on a holiday. She reasoned that benefits from a holiday lasted a short time, whereas new furniture and decoration lasted for much longer.

 

When Kristen and Helen were away, and each suffering on their summer holidays, one morning, Jill opened her front door to the best-looking man she had ever seen.

“Good morning. Are you Miss J. Tranter?”

“Good morning. You must be Steve, the decorator. Please come in.”

Jill showed Steve into the flat and told him what she wanted done, and as soon as possible, as she would be having household goods delivered. He went through the flat giving out ideas on colours, and Jill was amazed at his knowledge. It was agreed that the decorating should begin the following week. While he was working, Jill came and went, as she was staying at a friend’s, and her old stuff was in storage. Steve advised her on windows and how to make the best of them. Blinds were put up, and some new furniture was chosen by Steve. A new floor was laid, and by the end of August Jill’s flat was a show piece.

 

She went to the shop to pay, “I’ve come to pay for the work carried out on my flat during the month of August by Steve.”

“Oh, yes. He said you didn’t have much idea of how to decorate a place, and so he did it for you.”

Jill began to see red, and said, “I want to see the boss here, and make a complaint about Steve’s bad manners �" making fun of a client.”

The young man disappeared, and then came out of an office, “Please come with me, the boss will see you now.”

Jill followed him into the office, and who did she see sitting behind the desk - but Steve! “Is this some kind of a joke?” she asked.

Steve said, “No, it isn’t a joke. I am the boss. This is my company. I did what I did for the two of us. I thought we could live in it together.”

“I think you’ve got a flaming cheek doing things just for you. That isn’t at all professional. You haven’t any respect for me at all.”

 

Jill was so mad at her own stupidity that she went straight to an estate agency, and put the flat up for sale.

 

A couple of months later, Steve went to call on Jill and apologise for any bad feelings he had caused her. He rang the doorbell and went up to her flat. The door was opened by a strange man, and Steve asked him, “Is Jill here?”

“The ex-owner of this flat was called Jill. We got the flat cheap because it was so badly decorated. It was appalling! Absolutely no taste at all!”

“Have you got a forwarding address for her?”

“No, we haven’t. She’s moved away, out of this area,” the new owner of Jill’s flat said.

Steve, in trying to impress Jill, had spoiled things for the two of them.

 

Helen was quite happy with Lance. She didn’t think he was the love of her life, but he treated her with respect. During the time Kristen and Jill were having problems, Helen was having a good time with Lance, although she found him a bit boring at times. Kristen was still trying to make out where she was always going wrong with men. She felt generally depressed after the holiday.

 

One day, Kristen saw an advertisement in a newspaper to join a walking club. She told Helen, who told her, “Go on. Join. It’ll get you out of the flat for a bit, if nothing else. You might enjoy the weekends more than just sitting alone watching television.”

“Thanks for the advice. I notice you’re still going out with your lover-boy. It’s clear you don’t need to join a walking club or have ballroom dance classes to ward off the loneliness. Well, I’ll do as you say and join a walking club.”

“You’ll let me know all about it and how you get on, won’t you?” Helen said.

“Yes, of course. I’ll give you a blow by blow account of every walk I go on. OK?”

 

The next weekend saw Kristen arrive at the meeting point where all those wishing to take part would be taken to a large swathe of land with trees, a river, and boats - to make the most of the open air. Kristen was rather doubtful as to whether or not she was likely to make friends. There were ten of each sex, and from the look of them, everyone was on their own. There were no couples as far as Kristen could see. The leader of the walk introduced them all, and then they began the walk. The road before them was stony and fortunately it hadn’t rained for a few days, so the earth was not muddy but firm and dry. Kristen walked along quite happily, in spite of not having a partner, but then neither did any of the rest of the group. After strolling steadily for an hour, the leader called out, “Let’s have a rest and a bite to eat. You all have a snack, haven’t you?”

Kristen sat down on a small blanket she had put inside her rucksack and spread out on the ground.

A voice said, “You’ve come well prepared. I’ll have to sit on my thick jacket. By the way, my name is Leo, and you’re Kristen,” Leo said, holding out his right hand. Kristen shook hands with Leo, and they sat and shared their food. They each spoke about themselves, and Kristen learned that Leo had been through a sticky divorce, where he had come out with almost nothing to show for the fifteen years he had been married. His wife had managed to get the majority of their assets, as well as a new man to run off with. Kristen felt as if she had never had much of a life, listening to Leo and all his problems. What amazed her most of all, was that he had a positive attitude and wanted to find romance again.

That walk proved to be one of many, and Kristen and Leo became friends. They didn’t have what some might call a romance, but they had a pleasant friendship without any strings.

Kristen had observed Leo staring at another woman on the walks, and knew he fancied the new one more than he fancied her - if at all. From then on, Leo and the new woman were walking together more and more. Kristen felt like leaving the club, but she carried on.

 

One day, after a long walk in the nearest mountains, Leo arrived back home and fainted. The new woman rang for an ambulance. He was already dead when the ambulance got there. The new woman went with the cadaver to the hospital, but she was told she wouldn’t receive an autopsy report for several days. When eventually the report came, it said he had suffered a massive heart attack.

 

Kristen felt suicidal, and spent a lot of time in her flat, days and nights, crying her eyes out. She rang Helen, but she couldn’t do anything for Kristen.

After a tear ridden few months, Kristen went to a shopping centre with Helen, and she met Andrew, the man from the beach. “I met him on holiday last summer. He’s got stacks of children.”

“He doesn’t look as if he’s got stacks of children with him, he’s alone,” Helen said.

Andrew saw Kristen and Helen and went over to them.

“What’s happened to all those children who were with you in the summer?” Kristen asked him.

“I thought I recognized you, but not your friend. The children are with my sister and my ex-wife who’s remarried.”

Kristen told him about her experience with Leo, and the two made the decision to go for a meal. Helen was happy there was new hope for Kristen.

 

Jill had been working things out by herself about the silliness with Steve. What an idiot! She rang Helen one day when the dust had settled on that ‘Steve and ugly flat episode’, to ask her out for a drink. “You know I’m seeing someone I met on holiday, and he’ll probably want to come too,” Helen said in reply.

“That’s all right by me, the more the merrier. I’ll see you with or without your new flirt, at ‘The Water Boys’ at eight o’clock.”

“Fine. See you there. Bye.”

 

When Lance saw Jill enter the pub, he knew that she was the one for him. He knew that what he had with Helen was a nice friendship, but would never be more than that. He liked something about Jill, and hoped Helen would understand. That evening was the ending of Lance and Helen and the beginning of Lance and Jill. Helen saw that she had nothing to do there, so she bowed out gracefully, and told them both to be happy - and they were.

Lance treated Jill in the way she had hoped Steve would have done. It wasn’t long before they were both into decorating a house, but this time they were doing it together, so there would be no bad surprises.

 

On a blustery morning when hair goes all over the place and scarves try to get unknotted, Helen bumped into Louise. The two ex-rivals for Lance stared at each other, and then Helen said, “Can I treat you to a coffee or tea?”

Louise said, “OK. How are you? Seen anything of Lance?”

“Yes, he’s living with a friend of mine called Jill. When I think what a couple of idiots we were about him, when all the time neither of us was his sort. He took one look at Jill, and that was it - love at first sight!” Helen said.

Louise laughed, and said, “You know, Helen, men just love it when women are fighting over them. It feeds their masculine ego. We really must have appeared a ridiculous pair last summer.”

“Tell you what, Louise, let’s have a slap-up meal with champagne and, think ourselves lucky to be living our own lives, with not having to answer to any man.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Louise said, smiling at her old rival.

“We can truly say that, life and love are the two biggest mysteries we have to face and can never solve,” Helen said.a