Two of a kind

A man and a woman want the same thing out of a relationship, and it's not love.

 

 

TWO OF A KIND

 

Aubrey was bored, that meant he was dangerous. Whenever Aubrey was in such a condition he did bad things. He was bored because his last girl friend had told him that she would no longer pay for everything. Even now when he was in middle-age and physically capable of holding down a job, he didn’t. Being an inveterate gambler, he played at everything. Aubrey had been a model in his younger days and had attracted the attention of many women. He was of medium height, slim, a full head of hair which was now more grey than dark. He was good-looking, however on closer inspection a weak mouth could be discerned. This weakness was never more obvious than when he was cornered. Living the high life is very costly and never more so on an income that was worse than shaky. He lived in a smart part of the town because he knew that a good address was a better than good way of impressing women. Never mind that the kitchen cupboards were more Mother Hubbard than full of nourishing victuals, the most important thing was the name of the street and the fact that he resided in it. During the inactive times Aubrey spent the day in his pyjamas and dressing-gown, staring at TV or looking things up on the internet, but most of all, if funds were not too low, finding out somewhere his credit was still good for a flutter.

 

Leah was not just bored, she was fed up. Being divorced wasn’t all that it had seemed to be before she had freed herself from her husband. At least he had been there to talk to, now she only had her son, Chris, and her daughter, Dawn, who were always recriminating her. The two worked, and very hard too. They had to, Leah  most certainly did not entertain the idea of work. In fact it was a dirty word to her. Leah had been into online dating for a few weeks but she hadn’t been over keen on anybody so far. She wondered whether or not she should continue or go for something else. ‘I’ll give it a few more tries and see what the future brings.’

 

Aubrey had never been lacking in dates, his trouble was they had to be wealthy women. He had managed to maintain an elegant lifestyle in spite of his poor work load. Women fell for his looks and his charm. His looks were natural but his charm was switched on and off as easy as a light switch. Before sitting down in front of his computer, Aubrey wrote down in a notepad  the answers he would give to the questionnaire on online dating. He ignored uncomfortable questions with bland responses. He wanted to create the picture of a sophisticated and elegant man, who was more moneyed than he actually was. He added a very flattering photo of himself to the questionnaire and crossing his fingers for luck, went for a walk. One of Aubrey’s tricks was to be seen coming out of a restaurant and look as if he were flicking crumbs from his jacket. The idea was to make sure that whoever saw him do this would automatically assume that he had lunched or dined in the salubrious place. As he was out walking that afternoon Aubrey was busy thinking. He had never tried online dating before so he was rather worried about his age, which he hadn’t lied about. He went into one of his favourite haunts and had a coffee and cakes. Then he went outside and flicked off the imaginary crumbs, funnily enough that afternoon the crumbs were real as the cake had been flaky. He smiled to himself and thought it a good omen.

 

Leah switched on her laptop and went into online dating and went through the usual list of losers. Aubrey’s face leaped out through the screen and Leah read his information. She not only liked what she saw but what she read. She had the feeling that this could be the answer to her prayers. Leah sent Aubrey a response saying that she thought he and she might have something in common, she also left her mobile number. Leah wanted to hear his voice.

 

Aubrey sat down in front of his computer and went into online dating. He saw Leah’s photograph and her information. He liked it, so he decided that he would soon ring her and make a date. Then he went through the rest of the hopefuls and saw that interesting ones were thin on the ground. Kayley, the girl who helped him keep up some sort of order and tidiness in his home, was privy to all Aubrey’s adventures with the fair sex. She had told him many times that one day he would meet his match. When Aubrey told her about Leah, Kayley’s immediate reaction was to say, “Poor woman! She doesn’t know what she’s up against.”

 

Aubrey rang Leah a few days after he had seen her photograph. The phone rang when Leah was in her bedroom wondering about where her life was taking her.

“Hello!” Leah answered.

“Hello, is that Leah? My name’s Aubrey, and I saw your photograph and info on the dating service. So I’m ringing you to see if you’re interested in going out somewhere.”

Leah couldn’t believe her ears. The voice of the said Aubrey was soft and seductive, not at all like the misfits she had spoken to before. The call had perked her up.

“Well, I’m not sure when I’d be free.” Leah the liar, she was free all day, every day.

“What would you prefer, lunch, tea, or dinner? Just name the day and the time and I’ll meet you.” Aubrey was willing to fit himself into her busy timetable as long as it led to their meeting in the not too distant future.

Leah thought that tea would be the best option as it didn’t interfere with going to the gym or the hairdresser’s. “Tea would be fine. Where shall we meet?”

“I thought ‘The Hundred Teas’ as it’s the latest in places to go. Is that all right with you?” Aubrey said trying not to sound too anxious.

“Yes, that sounds pretty good. Is Thursday at half past five OK?”

“Yes, of course. I look forward to meeting you,” said Aubrey and rang off, feeling as if he had had a good day at the races.

 

Kayley was standing in Aubrey’s kitchen. There was a shopping bag on the counter top. With the little money Aubrey gave her, Kayley bought the necessary items; whisky, gin, brandy, and bottles of tonic and beer. Nothing mattered except image. Kayley was thinking that she couldn’t carry on much longer working for a man who had no knowledge of how much things cost and how she needed a fixed wage. In spite of that, she kept on going to Aubrey’s as it got her away from a bad situation at home. She hid her money in an unused old teapot in the kitchen cupboard, to protect it from her family, and so that she had cash when she needed it. Why not a bank? Kayley was worried that she might be attacked at a cash point.

When Aubrey got home, Kayley was in the kitchen doing her best not to work herself up before his arrival. She knew that the probability of his having money to pay her was not good. Kayley put him to the test.

“Hello, Aubrey, how’s it going? I’m a bit short this month and I need to be paid my regular wage,” there, it had been said.

Much to Kayley’s surprise Aubrey got out his wallet and handed her a month’s wage.

“Thanks, a lot. I’m very grateful.”

“That’s all right. I’m sorry I let you wait for what is rightfully yours. Kayley, I think I’ve found my meal ticket. She’s lovely and is a divorcee with two children who both work. Perfect! Well, what do you think?”

“I hope you’re not going to make her suffer as you have done so many times with women, and  leave her broke, and broken hearted,”

“Now don’t you worry. Everything’s going to be OK.”

Kayley finished work and left. Aubrey watched her go and then went into the kitchen and looked inside the kitchen cupboard till he found what he wanted. Kayley’s money. He had no scruples as regards his needs and those of others. The money was to pay for the tea with Leah and to present her with a flower. He had no worries about his appearance, he was always immaculate and expensive-looking, thanks to his days as a model.

 

Aubrey and Leah met at the prearranged time on the Thursday in question. The weather was dry and sunny without the heat of warmer climes. Both were dressed to impress, as befits an English afternoon tea date.

“Good afternoon, I’m Aubrey, you must be Leah,” Aubrey said offering his right hand to Leah.

Leah liked what she saw, just as Aubrey’s previous conquests had. “Good afternoon, Aubrey. Pleased to make your acquaintance,” Leah replied holding out her right hand.

The recently met pair entered ‘The Hundred Teas’. The interior was decorated in all shades of soft browns and greens and the whole place was perfumed with teas of all types and aromas. They sat down at an off-centre table. They stared at each other before daring to speak. Aubrey was working out how much the clothes and jewellery that Leah was wearing were worth. Leah was doing the same. The waiter came and they gave their order, two mint and mango infusions. Aubrey was pleased that Leah didn’t ask for cakes, as he wasn’t sure if Kayley’s money would run that far. Luckily for him, Leah was on a permanent diet so she only asked for tea.

“Have you been here before?” asked Leah.

“No, I haven’t, as I usually tend to be rather busy. I thought you might like it.”

“Yes, it’s fine.” Leah was thinking about what she should tell her children. Aubrey was the best she had met since her divorce and she hoped this time it wouldn’t stop at one date.

“Would you like to go for a drive at the weekend?” Aubrey asked.

Leah smiled and said, “Yes, that would be nice,” she also thought it would be a good way of finding out what kind of car he drove.

Aubrey was thinking that he could rent a car for the occasion.

Outside ‘The Hundred Teas’ Aubrey and Leah, both well pleased with each other, said goodbye till the following weekend.

 

Aubrey went back home removed his clothes and put them carefully away in the wardrobe. Wearing his dressing gown over his pyjamas he sat down and made a list of how he would woo Leah.

 

Leah was at home doing her best to prepare dinner for her son Chris and her daughter Dawn. She no longer looked as she had done a few hours before. The fine clothes had been put away and her hair was tied back and covered by a hair band to prevent it from getting dirty. When her two offspring arrived home the dinner was on the table. Leah said nothing about her date with Aubrey till they were all seated.

“I went on a date this afternoon with a lovely man called Aubrey. He must be loaded as he lives in a very good area of town. We went to ‘The Hundred Teas’. This weekend he’s taking me out for a drive. I expect he’ll have a fabulous car.”

Dawn looked at her mother, “Is that the reason you’re going out with him, for a ride in an expensive car? You don’t make sense. Is that why you divorced Dad, so that you could nab a richer man?”

“Don’t be offensive. Your father was a non-achiever and I needed more and so did you two, we never rose above the ordinary,” Leah sounded peeved.

“But we are ordinary. Look at us, we’re not exactly living in clover, are we?” Chris added to the conversation.

“I don’t have to listen to your opinions. You never back me up,” declared Leah.

On those words Leah walked out of the dining-room and went to her bedroom.

 

By one of those strange quirks of fate, Dawn and Kayley knew each other. The two were both members of the same gym and were always gossiping about their families. That very same evening, after nearly spinning themselves into oblivion, Dawn and Kayley went for a drink in the gym restaurant. Neither was in a hurry to go home.

“My mother’s got herself a boyfriend from internet,” Dawn told Kayley.

“Oh, yes. That should keep her out of your hair for a while. Have they been going out long?”

“No, today was their first date. She reckons he’s loaded. His name’s Aubrey. Can you imagine going out with an Aubrey?” Dawn giggled.

Kayley froze. She was uncertain as to what she should say. She swallowed, and thought that as Dawn was her friend she should tell her what Aubrey was about.

“My boss is called Aubrey, and I can assure he is far from loaded. He’s a freeloader, he goes out with rich women and fleeces them till they understand what is going on and then they ditch him, but not before he has had a good ride with them. He gambles with their money on horses and casinos, just about anything in fact. You’d better warn your mother.”

Dawn asked, “It may be another Aubrey.”

“How many Aubreys do you think there are in a town this size? It’s not a common name, and I know my boss. Now it’s up to you whether you tell your mother or not. Fancy another infusion?”

 

Leah was in bed when Dawn arrived home after gym, and so the subject of Aubrey didn’t come up before the weekend.

 

On Friday morning Kayley got to Aubrey’s on time and went straight to the teapot where she kept what she thought was her safe money. The teapot of course, was empty. Kayley was still standing with the empty teapot in her hand when Aubrey went into the kitchen for breakfast.

“Where’s my money? Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. I left money in here thinking it was safe from my nosey family, only to find that my lovely boss has stolen it,” Kayley shouted at Aubrey.

“No need to get upset. I’ll return it to you as soon as I have another win or get married. I’ve met a lovely lady and she has two working children, how about that?”

Inside her, Kayley was laughing to herself. What an idiot! If he only knew that Leah received a small sum from her ex-husband and the interest from her savings, Dawn had told her, some time in the past. There was no big money, Leah was after the same thing as Aubrey. A meal ticket! As she had already warned Dawn about Aubrey, Kayley wasn’t worried about what might happen when they both found out about each other.

 

Saturday came, and the drive out to see a famous old bridge not too far away, which was the only way over the river into the beautiful surrounding countryside. There was a stiff breeze which made the air seem quite chilly. Both Aubrey and Leah were wrapped in their warmest and best cold-weather finery. Inside the car was warm and cosy, Leah was thinking that it would be nice to spend the rest of her life with this high-flying man, to whom money was no object. Aubrey was thinking that Leah would be a soft touch, and a very agreeable one too.

The agreement with the car rental was that he had to hand it back before midnight. As the afternoon progressed the wind got colder and colder, and Leah, who detested any kind of weather unless it was warm, asked if he would take her back. Aubrey, very unwillingly, began the drive back to where they had met. He still didn’t know where Leah and her family lived. This was because Leah was very cautious about those things. She believed in keeping men the other side of the front door. Once inside, and men take all kinds of advantages. Her home was her refuge and therefore sacrosanct. Aubrey dropped Leah off outside a house in a part of town opposite to the end where she lived. Aubrey drove off, his head filled with frustration at how the afternoon had turned out. Leah watched him go and then took a taxi to her favourite shopping centre where she found Dawn having coffee and cakes with Kayley.

 

Aubrey handed over the car with the keys to the car hire firm and started the walk back home. He was so wrapped up in himself, he never saw the car that hit him. He hit his head on the kerb and was taken to the hospital unconscious. When he came to, he felt very sorry for himself. He had no visitors and no money. But the TV told the story of his stay in the hospital.

 

Kayley was informed about her boss’s accident and she informed Dawn and Leah, who were now fully in the know about the kind of man Aubrey was. Leah immediately fell into a depression on discovering the true Aubrey. She spoke to a lawyer who told her that Aubrey had been denounced by several women he had managed to con out of money, and they had never recuperated their money as the judges declared that there was no case against him because they acted voluntarily.

 

“It’s your own fault, Mum. You’re no better than him. You were only after what you were hoping to get. There was no mention of affection.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I was beginning to fall in love with Aubrey.”

Dawn burst out laughing. “Falling in love after two short dates! Don’t make me laugh. You sound like a lovelorn teenager instead of a middle-aged woman. Perhaps it’s a good thing he’s in hospital.”

 

Aubrey left hospital still feeling sorry for himself, and he was soon back onto the online dating. But one of his victims had seen the news of his spell in hospital and was waiting for revenge.

She had changed her name and her photo, which was now of a beautiful girl standing beside a nice new blue BMW. The trap was set.

Aubrey took the bait, and made a date for the weekend following his release from hospital. She suggested they meet at the river, and she would be waiting for him in her car on her side of the famous bridge.

 

There was practically no traffic, and the only footpath over the bridge was on his left-hand side. He was almost half way over the bridge with no cars in sight. In the distance a parked blue BMW sounded its horn. He looked and thought, ‘My luck is in!’ and started to move quickly across the road without looking. A car appeared out of nowhere and zapped him from behind and he was sent flying upwards and into the hereafter. The driver didn’t stop, and the BMW drove off.

 

Various ideas were put forward as to how Aubrey had been hit and sent to his death on the bridge. One was that he had not recovered sufficiently to be out and about after his recent hospitalization. Or maybe it was just because he had not been looking where he was going. There had been no eye-witnesses to inform the police or the press. Only two people knew the true story, and they weren’t going to say anything.

 

Aubrey’s death made front page news. Many women thought that he had got what he deserved.

 

Leah rang her sister Maria pleading a terrible depression and not being able to cope. As Maria was a psychiatrist, she understood she had better help Leah, and invited Leah and her family to come and stay with her, so that she could keep an eye on her sister till she felt better. 

 

Dawn, Chris and Leah got into Dawn’s car with their bits and pieces, and set off for Maria’s house. They had to go over the bridge where Aubrey had died, and there were still flowers, albeit now wilted, lying near the spot where he had been hit. None of them made any comment.

 

Or maybe they hadn’t noticed.