This Hospital

This Hospital, 

Vacant halls. 

Desperate needs, 

Dwindling hope. 

Tomorrow, will she see you?

This hospital, 

Savage teeth, 

Breaking through her bones, 

Chewing her up tonight. 

Tears they cry, 

Strengthen your cruel, sinister grip. 

Two Zombie nurses, 

Will not succeed. 

If you want her death complete tonight, 

Be Gentle.  

On Grand hospital, 

they are all mistaken. 

not one more life will be,

lost to you. 

Do not get too comfortable, 

at her side. 

Tomorrow, she will see you. 

You will not decide. 

Reviews

[andrew mitchell]

A mystery write instantly thought of The one flew over the cuckoos nest. Yes had an asylum feel this write!

[Laura S-C]

I very much enjoyed reading this poem. It is mysterious and very well written. I love how you describe the hospitals and how you end sure of the outcome. Good luck with the competition.

[barleygirl]

I'm not sure I'm following your thread in this message, not sure if you're targeting one or more hospitals in particular. But as one who avoids hospitals as much as possible, I will say you've described them very well. I think zombie nurses may be something else in your poem (I'm not a fan of zombie stories, so I'm unable to interpret), but to me, it's a description of real life nurses who are so overworked for so long, they've forgotten to be human to their patients anymore -- just getting the job done. The first two stanzas are described clearly for me, but then I get lost in the message of the last two. Still, I like your writing style thru-out.

[Georgina Cross]

Thank you for yet another great review.
I see where you are coming from, perhaps i will add some more structure to the change in hospital.
Regards,
Georgie.

[Inject Positivity]

You have made a comparison of Two different hospitals here... There is a sense of mystery in the poem which really catches the reader's mind... I have seen your pattern of writing and you clarity in them, so far they have been very good... You left the reader here to think and imagine the images you have put in the poem... Your word choices has been very good, there is a sense of intrigueness as you have used zombie nurses....

As for my experience, your poem left me with the thought of how miserable a life can be while in a hospital, the wait for death and the pain of body are both miserable, it reminds me of my fear of needles and nasty syrups, medicines and horrible looking circumstances... You didn't described too much here which is a very good thing I believe because if you haven't done that the reader might never get the opportunity to imagine....

Always a pleasure reading your poems Georgie, keep on smiling and live with poetry my frnd...

Regards and respect
Dhiman

[Georgina Cross]

Another beautiful review form you Dhiman,
Thank you,
Georgie

[Usman Muhammad]

Great example of how to intensify your message with magic of your words. Georgia you are amazing and your poetry leaves us to wonder in our imagination to create such ideas. Keep writing like this...

[Georgina Cross]

Thank you so much Usman, your reviews are very precious to me and i hope you continue to write them. I will continue to write in such a way with your drive behind me!
Thank you once again,
Regards,
Georgie

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

Well, well, well, we have a poem which is an excellent example of poetic imagery. I could feel everything happening in front of me."Tomorrow, she will see you. You will not decide." Epic.

[Georgina Cross]

I'm glad you like the imagery in the poem, it's hard to get the duality i was aiming for and i am glad you you could almost feel the pain of the poem.
Please continue to review my work,
Many thanks,
Georgie :D

[Spencer Barker]

Georgina, this poem is unlike most subject matter for a poem I have read and I like it; you have nice flow, superb imagery, and a sort of urgency to bring the reader right to the very end, satisfied. Excellent work! :)

[Georgina Cross]

Thank you Soencer for such a lovely review, I'm glad that you could read and enjoy my work.
I will take a look at your page and give some reviews, I hope you continue to do so on mine :)
Georgie

[Spencer Barker]

Not a problem! Thank you, I truly appreciate it. I will of course continue to review your writing. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this made me think of the movie "the hospital" with george C. scott and diana rigg.

they just kept messing up...anything that could go wrong did...

but here, yes, the difference in how hospitals treat the sick---have seen both kinds...

eerie...the last line...like someone is waking from a coma...the life refuses to be lost...

j.

[JayceeC]

Hospitals can be such desolate places, especially when someone is critically ill. but I've seen will overtake medical precedence several times. This feels almost like a comparison of two hospitals, private verse charity or public hospital. the form is somewhat concrete and fun to look at as I can see those zombie nurses.

[Georgina Cross]

Thank you so much for your comment, it is greatly appreciated. I'm glad you can see the juxtaposition between the two types of hospital :)
I hope you continue to enjoy my work
Georgie