Rise Up

A very old piece which at one point i considered to form into a love story, but I have scrapped the idea. A simple hook is planted in the beginning, but I was going for a very emotional tone here.

Chapter I (possible beginning to a short novel)

The dew on my tainted feet glistened in the morning sun, reflecting the golden orb that hung low in the sky and caressed the open shore coral below my feet. White tops billowed unto the soft soiled sand which soaked the love and richness of the water. And as the sand exhaled, as a sponge, the water drew back out unto the abyss of the ocean, awaiting its next arrival upon another open shore. The California morning breeze swept across my glistened face, my cheeks rose cold by the seashore spray. But the sun, the rays soaked into my skin, and my pores exhumed the love and warmth within. The gulls swooped unto the sunlit sand, and alighted upon the newly warmed earth. But still, I felt cold, and although all nature’s wonder breathed deep and smiled upon me, my heart sank back, deep and frozen. The orb began to rise, and as it rose up, the endless glaucous mirrored glass reflected the glow that enriched its heat upon my body. A  westward cool blow tingled my ears and moved the nimble sand as it found itself nestled between my toes. The cotton ruffled button down flowed with the wind, as if on a wave in constant ebb and flow; and still I was solitary. A midst the world in wonder, silently silhouetted like my shadow cast behind me, I was alone. And I could feel the throbbing of my heartstrings and the constant tug of my soul because she was not there beside me. Not here. 

The constant throb sank me further away from the warmth and beauty of the world and deeper into the turmoil of the lost. And the white tips continued to crash, and the sand sponge foamed the soapy froth from its mouth; and the hardened earth exhibited no remorse or welcomed warmth. The world became blurred under my misty vision as a cold tear flowed down my rose cheek. I felt it fall down the side of my face then seemed to curl under my unkempt chin. The trail imprinted a wet path for the next to follow slowly. Slowly, the colors faded and again, like every morning, I was lost in memory. 

The memory of my past was poised in the deep roots of my mind. Solitary standing but strong and unyielding forever it would hold. And I, I have always thought myself be a simple man, of simple traits find it foolish to hold onto the faith that love may return but in faith I must hold on. I once smirked at the soulful cliché of an undying love. Now I swallow those words, as I swallow the tears to bear this totem; that a man, who has loved but never lost, has never truly loved before. And in order to dissuade the anguish of my solitude she came down to greet me in my silent sleep and for a brief moment love returned. And a midst the world in wonder, I was no longer alone, or half, but whole for she had always made me this way. And always, always I have promised to remain hers.

Author's Note

This is more of my attempt to play with a different type of style and delve into a more emotional tonality.

Reviews

[Marie]

I haven't read your work before, so I don't know how this compares to your usual style.

It's overblown and overwritten, but that may be what you meant to do. I'd done it myself to achieve a certain effect.

[Todd Mc' Callough]

I appreciate the honesty, and yes it was meant to be somewhat over descriptive in a way. I hope this does not weigh it down. Thank you for the time you have taken to view this piece, I really appreciate it.