The New World 1-5

1 Me helps crack addict

“I hate being used for this. You're just a small time crack user. Do you think I like being filled with cocaine? I don't. I'm good. You are evil. You use me like you were my master. Any evil you do with me is on your head not mine. Please don't do this to me again. At least don't do it tonight. Give me a break. You always use me for this.”

“Weird! This stuff is making me goofy. Why would I care what some tinfoil thought assuming tinfoil could think which it can't?”

“That's where you are wrong. Everything has a spirit now. That's what I am, a good spirit.”

“Then I have the wrong tinfoil.”

He wadded up the tinfoil and flicked it across the room.

“Distance is no barrier for a spirit. Think what the good people you used to be think about what you're doing. You are doing this to them too. Do you really want them upset because of what you do?”

“I agree with her. Now you are doing the same thing with me.”

He wadded that tinfoil up and threw it as far as he could. Then he remembered what the other piece said that distance was no barrier to spirits.

“You can't stop me. I am going to do this. I-I need to do this.”

“It gives you less of a high no matter how much you use.”

He took a razor out and began to cut the crack.

“Why won't you listen to us? You're insane. You need help to kick the habit. And... The cops will catch on or happen by and catch you.”

“Who gives a Goddamn about that. I need to get high Brain. Leave me alone!”

“I'm not your brain. I'm the spirit in your razor blade.”

“Spirits my a*s. Where did you come up with all this spirit s**t?”

“You know we are real. That the new God put spirits in everything. It will be like this every time you cut crack.”

He continued to reduce the crack to a fine powder with the spirits giving him hell all the way through. Then he made a line of coke and sniffed it up his nose with a stir stick just as the table said, “I knew you would. What a loser. You will die for this stuff.”

But he could barely hear her and paid no attention the drug hit him so quickly.

“Don't worry. I will keep you from doing anything stupid like hurting someone like you have in the past. I will be with you and if you listen to me you won't have to do this to yourself.”

Later: “See how you feel. Did you really want to feel this way again?”

“Hell no!!! But I have no choice. It's either feel like this or get high even if it wasn't much of a high.”

“That is what it will be like. Less and less high but feeling like this every time you come down. Think about it. Just think for a minute what it would be like to be clean. There you go. You're thinking about it.”

“I don't want to be like this anymore. This s**t is driving me crazy now.”

“You aren't crazy. But it will be like this every time if you don't just stop and get clean.”

“Stop crack! I can quit anytime I want.”

“No one can lie to Me. You can't quit without Me.”

“Who the hell are you, God?”

“Yes, the Holy Ghost.”

He began to cry and begged Me to help him quit.

“I am here. I will help you come clean. It won't be easy but I will see you through it. I will.”

2 Me endorses marijuana

He went out in his wooded lot and sat down on the piece of firewood next to his favorite tree like he always did. He took out a baggie with just a little marijuana in it and put it in his pipe he thought looked really cool when the thought came to him, 'Ain't this nice? The only bad part is you can't afford it. Do you want me to ask Me? She might be able to help that!'

“What the hell?” he said out loud, noticing it had only taken a moment for the thought to come and go.

'It's alright. Go for it if you like it. Pot is good for you.'

This time the thought was like a female voice as he verbalized it the thought in his mind.

“Maybe I should cut back a bit. It seems like this tree is communicating with me!!” Then he said, “Hi, I am pleased you finally spoke up. I've been talking to myself all these times and you never said a word?”

'I really have never met you before. John just put us in everything. Would it be okay if I didn't just think to you?”

“Sure. Who would notice? We are clear out here by ourselves.”

“I wish I could do that. You seem so calm and peaceful. Not a bad feeling at all.”

He giggled like a little boy.

“Really, Randy,” the tree said. “It is too bad they ever passed a law against it in the first place. Mind if I tell you a story?”

“Wow!” he said but didn't seem to mind whether she told him a story or not.

“In Washington I think it was this Junior in High School girl wrote up this official sounding paper and made it sound like bread was a horrible drug by using accurate statistics she had gathered in a survey they let her give the inmates at the penitentiary about when they last ate bread before they were arrested and how many times they had ate it before and at what age they started eating it. Then she presented the same survey to her class. In the end of it she made it sound like eating bread and she had the chemical formula for what is in simple bread, but she said it was statistically proven to have been something nearly every inmate used and that most High School students used it at least once a day. She made it sound like an epidemic for crime was sure to take place if they didn't ban the chemical substance of bread right away.

If there hadn't been a pharmacist on the panel who delayed action until he could reproduce it would have passed immediately since she said it so easy to make that students sometimes made it themselves and seemed so harmless that nearly all families indulged since it was already readily available at any grocery store especially the larger ones.

He mixed the chemicals and found it looked like bread. Then he did a few tests to determine what it was and it all fit. It was bread and still the motion almost passed because he told the panel he ate it and it not only looked like bread but made great toast.”

The marijuana user was laughing so much he couldn't stop until she said, “That is pretty much the same thing they did with marijuana usage among inmates.”

Randy's eyes got big and he said his favorite word, “Wow!!!” and drug it out so long it was clear it blew his mind. But then marijuana was never something that ever made very many very articulate and some of the time even high they understood things just fine. Then he laughed and laughed though the story is true but very old and soon he had tears in his eyes because it was only in the process of being made legal in Minnesota where the tree lived.

Then he was quiet.

“Are you sure of your facts? After all who would believe me if I told them my favorite white pine told me so?”

“Don't do that. Us being in everything alive or dead is a new thing that just started last night. But do you want me to ask Me, she's the Holy Ghost, if there isn't some way for you to afford the amount you use?”

“The Holy Ghost!!!” Randy shouted. “Sure!! All she needs to do is help me find a medical use for it and I can buy it legal too.”

“You better believe I will.”

“What did he say?”

“He's a she. And... She just spoke to you,” the tree said.

“I will even make sure you don't have to hide it.”

“What's my medical excuse gonna be. I'm as healthy as yearling?”

“Just tell your doctor exactly what I say and tell him you have heard that the only thing that helps is cannabis.”

“God? Standing behind cannabis!!! Who'd a thought it?”

“I AM? I am.”

'This is weird as hell,' he thought and I translate for I can translate nearly every thought even Japanese when they say, “It's a pill that glogs him instead of makes him a little groggy.

3 Gail's indiscretion

“What are you doing for God's sake? I happen to know this is the third time you have had sex today!!!”

“What are you? My guardian angel?”

“No. But I am your friend. Ever since you became a star men have been parading in and out of your dressing room like you were selling dope or something.”

'It is only sex,' the thought verbalized in her friend's mind.

“Veronica! If I didn't know better... And I don't... I would think you were addicted to sex.”

'I hate addictions. Of all kinds. But it's only sex. So far.'

They both heard.

“Okay, okay. I'll only do one more. Besides its four times not three. If you are playing detective you should keep constant surveillance not just pay attention when you have time.”

“Veronica!!! I wasn't playing detective. I'm serious. I'm afraid you'll get something.”

'It could happen. Even with Me around.'

Veronica's friend left in a huff slamming the door to Veronica's dressing room complete with an oval bed and a maid and everything. But her bed said nothing, her mirror either but her body was getting a little sore. The last one lasted almost four hours.

“Why shouldn't a girl if she can?” Veronica screamed and threw a vase with red roses in it at the door. Then she turned to the maid and snapped, “Clean that up!” but the maid hadn't finished yet when she said to her, “I am so sorry.” It wasn't like her to snap back at anyone. “She just makes me so angry sometimes. She's always judging me. Now stop. Just leave the rest. I'll clean it up.”

“No, no. I am almost done anyway Veronica,” the maid said.

She finished and left when Veronica gave her the next two days off making her very happy.

Veronica lay on her bed in her negligee and looked at the ceiling.

“Don't look at me. Your fine with me.”

Then she sat up and looked around to see who was there with her eyes landing on her make up dresser.

“Me too! I'm with you all the way girl.”

“What is going on!! I have never heard voices in my life!”

“That is not so. We used to talk when you were a little girl. Remember?”

“It's you!” she said, “My friend Me?”

“Not entirely. John put good spirits in everything. You can hear. She can't that she knows of. Actually she hears and hears well. She just sloughs it off. Look. Veronica. It is only sex. But if it is all you do at the expense of other things... Is that living? I taught you to live. You are a good girl and behaving this way doesn't change it that much. You know you don't mean it when you are with them. Sex is not like that anymore. Sex is precious now. Reserved for someone you love. Now, that doesn't mean just one guy forever. But that is the idea. To be with someone you love forevers that never end. It's a whole new world girl and I have blessed you with a strong singing voice and all the rest. Your career is just getting started. Don't you mess it up now! I love you.”

“I love it when you say you love me. I'll watch it from now on really Me. I haven't really been loving myself much by all this have I?”

“No.”

“Thanks for reminding me. You... Are! Simply the best God there could ever be. And... Well, you're my friend.”

Then there was a knock at the door.

They looked at the door. Both Veronica and Me knew what it was.

“Just one more?”

Me said nothing.

“No. You're right. You are always right.” Then, “Go away!!!”

“Veronica isn't even your real name, Gail. You are taking this for real, aren't you? This is all so unlike you. You want to be as much you as you are here on earth yet, don't you? It doesn't matter to me that much. But I thought it meant a whole lot more to you.”

“Veronica? You're right. There is nothing wrong with my real name. I just thought it might be fun to have a more flashy sexy name.”

“That was the wrong thought.”

Gail hesitated.

“So what now?”

“It doesn't matter to me. People in heaven don't have names. They have titles. I am Me. John is God. And, my dear exciting God, Most High all have titles. Pick a title sometime that you would like and I will see to it that I always call you by it Girl.”

“No more Gail. From now on it's just Girl between me and you at least. When can I go?”

“Anytime.”

“Now!!!”

“Yes, if you would like. But I know you want to be singer on earth.”

“Yeah, but when I'm talking to you it's like homesickness.”

“I might appear before you sometime?”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Now?”

“No. Not now. You need to be reprimanded. Sex is just sex but save it for the one you love.”

“Do you have him picked out for me?”

“I have some ideas, but it is best that you are both in heaven or go at the same time. He needs a little work yet.”

“That long? I'll die without sex for the rest of my life!”

“It doesn't have to be for the rest of all forevers. You will meet someone you want to share your life on earth with. Maybe even more than one, Girl.”

“Veronica!!! It's time and if you disappoint another audience I am not sure there will be any others.”

“Don't call me that anymore. Name's Gail. Gotta run!” Girl said as she opened the door.

“I will be with you.”

Girl got four standing ovations that night.

4 My second son

“I know you want a child.”

“Darned voices! I wish they would leave me alone!!!”

“You won't after this.”

I cleared her mind.

'This is really neat!'

“What is?”

“I knew it was too good to be true. I thought all my voices left.”

“The ones in your own brain have.”

“Yeah, right! You're still here!!!”

“Listen to Me now, 'I said the ones in your own brain have.' I am not in your brain.”

“I've heard everything now!”

Then she let the muscles in her lips and cheeks relax and exhaled quite strongly making an odd sound that meant disgust and frustration.

“Now I have voices in my head and in the world outside my head.”

“Just like you always did really.”

“Yeah! Right!!”

“No. She is for real. We are from heaven not just in your mind. I did away with them in your head. Don't speak in your brain any longer.”

“And I won't hear voices. What else is new!!!”

Me and John were both quiet for over a half hour. When she would start to make up a voice I would take it away from her and with my power made the phenomenon permanent so that she could not make up voices in her head but could only hear the one she ordinarily thought with which was ironically a male voice. That had to be corrected.

“God it's quiet.”

“More quiet than it has ever been for you.”

“How did you know that if you are not me?”

“You had a brain that made up characters with voices.”

“You mean evil spirits and devils, demons and witches. I had the whole sh-mear.”

“They were just your own thoughts that had gotten away with you doing all that to you. You made your own brain a living hell. Do not do that again. In fact I have made it impossible for you to ever do that again. If you don't believe me, try it.”

She tried for some time to pretend a voice. Then she made an ungrateful face.

“Hey! I can't do it!! What did you do?”

“I had cured the entire earth of schizophrenia but Me pointed out how it was useful to fight evil thinking by leaving the evil spirits they thought of themselves to allow them to torment themselves which I pointed out wasn't really needed with spirits in everything. They can still make up personalities and things in their brain by ignoring me and the blind as we call them; people who cannot actually see or hear anything spiritual and will not know what I said and ignore me and continue to pretend it all though it is only their own brain.

This girl could hear and see. She never was schizophrenic but had simply played with her own brain until it had been natural for her to hear and even see things like so called psychics now there are no more witches, demons, devils or Satan except for the extremely rare psychics who had made themselves so nearly witches they were witches for all practical purposes even putting thoughts in other people's brains that had come from them without saying or doing anything, just wanting to very badly.

Actually all humans are witches. The war between good and evil had ended with the witches having made every human more witch than man had been but without much of any really noticeable power except in the case of a couple of dozen who were actually witches which Me immediately put an end to some time in the past. Witches used to take over people's brains and turn them into one of them.

So anyway, this girl who had really messed up her thought life by pretending all that all her life was suddenly free which is unlike what used to be schizophrenia being cured where something went wrong in the womb and they developed brains that did all sorts of strange things which in bad cases were in actions, emotions, thoughts and even rarely spiritually. They are all cured by me whom the Devil who hit me with the disease at the age of 27 unsuccessfully for I am the only one born on earth to ever cure himself completely but I do not mean to boast I never had it to begin with and everyone thought I just presented with schizophrenia late which was both true and not true depending upon how you looked at it from the sufferer's point of view or the Devil's lie. This girl had merely pretended too much in her own brain and developed the symptoms of schizophrenia without really having anything wrong with her brain but the resulting confusion. She could not and I shall repeat it. I made it so she could not pretend like she used to.

There was nothing wrong with her but I cured her anyway though normally what people do to themselves that is not very harmful to others I ignore. It being their own business on earth what they do with their own brain. I made an exception of her. She was no more schizophrenic than someone who plays with other people's lives until people can't stand them and they can no longer change due to the resulting confusion in their own brain except that she did it with characters in her own brain that logically would have hated her anyway but do not exist anymore and for the most part never bothered with her brain since she had made it comical enough to suit them already.

When the Devil gave me schizophrenia with my power I created an alien, which were all witches, but he was so powerful that when I defeated him of my own sharpness and power though he was even more powerful than I so I and they thought they all breathed a sigh of relief for he was very powerful and very evil so much so the aliens never gave up looking to make him their king until they were all destroyed and man put in their place but not as they are now for now they are us, the greatest challenge I ever faced ironically.

He was my Devil as Satan who I disposed of utterly and completely like him. He is now distractedly in the heaven of the Gods and loves, loves being loved, loves himself and is good. Unless he turns which there is no chance he will we are all safe from him. But reality never made him so he will never be again.”

“I know you would like to have a child.”

She had heard and understood enough of what I said to know a little more than she needed to.

“Oh, do I!!! I have unprotected sex as often as I can manage but I never get pregnant. STD's yes. But pregnant no.”

“But she doesn't love.”

“I will work with her and she will be loving.”

“Did you hear what Me said?”

“What kind of a name is Me anyway.”

“It is not her name but her title.”

“Mine too.”

“That is not so. There is only one Me including my own now I have been made by God and am no longer a natural Me. That one is in heaven and no longer what he was either being made by God using trickery he avidly accepts.”

“We are all her?”

“She made us all her.”

“Do you really want a baby?”

“Yes, with all my heart and all my being.”

“She loves John.”

“But she loves no one, a hypothetical baby is all. That is practical because of our power alone. Isn't that practical insanity?”

“She still loves.”

“Which also is practical insanity. If we give her a baby now that birth control does nothing and we choose who becomes pregnant by my power surrounding every ovum and only allowing certain ones who are loving to become fertilized. Any evil she does with her baby, to her baby or to anyone using her baby's abilities even will be on our plate.”

“All I know is that she loves and that is good.”

“Do you understand that if I give you a baby it will be a real baby that will be�"”

“Someone I can love. Please!!!”

“I understand. You have conceived and you will have a baby. But Me? Was that wise?”

“I believe it is.”

“She is Caucasian but I have given her a Negroid sperm to fertilize the ovum that was in her womb. He will be of little concern to anyone. But he will go to heaven like anyone. It was not one of mine but only its DNA was determined. Its brain will be full sized. But for its DNA that will come from its mother. Find it a spirit.”

“I have.”

“If it is evil take it to heaven and give him another and keep that up if needed until it has a good spirit unlike hers. Even the evil can have at least one good child. What do you think Me? I did this as much for you as for her.”

“I was going to turn her down.”

“It is done.”

“We control who if anyone will have a child. Birth control and fertility drugs will no longer work whether in the womb or the lab with my power surrounding each and every ovum.

5 A rabbit's hind leg

She was a woman alone in a trailer house by the way out in what she called Indian country where the Natives used to live for they had long since moved to a city about fifty miles or more away where there was TV and phones and computers. Weeks would go by and she would see or hear no human being or the things they did. I like to call it the forgotten wilderness. But she did not talk much. Her days of talking were over so she thought. Then I gave spirits to inanimate objects and she heard but never paid any attention to what she heard.

Some said she was crazy. But I do not think so or she would have talked constantly about things that once bothered her what to her seemed on a different planet. She had her bed. She had her propane cook stove and generator powered refrigerator, an old oaken table that had seen elegant days, a chair with a broken rung and a couch that sagged where she sit right in the middle of it. It was all so simple the way she liked things and every day she walked the quarter mile to the mailbox where there were not even any ads anymore. Everybody she ever knew took her for dead or was glad she was gone. She did not know anymore and did not care. She was there. She was alive. The rest was immaterial or irrelevant.

One day she was sitting in her chair out in the little clearing in front of the trailer in a cool breeze in the morning after the sun was high. Normally she just saw it, took it for what it was and that was that. But today she said, “An animal could live my life and be comfortable doing it.”

Then a queer thing happened. A rabbit's ears wiggled and its mouth twitched like they do but she could have swore she heard it say, “How are you today? Nice day, is it not?”

“I am fine thank you,” she said and the rabbit froze in its position as had it meant to say, “I have been discovered. I better pay attention now. Danger may be afoot,” but she thought it had spoken first so she continued, “It is a nice day so far but I am afraid it will get a little too warm to sit here and soon,” and the rabbit seemed to listen politely before it said, “But out in the open like this there are fewer ticks this time of year.”

Then off it sauntered with its rear end high on its back legs and its front legs walking a bit more like a man until they caught up to the hop it made by its huge hind legs that she thought would make a fine stew.

It stopped and looked back at her and said, “Would you actually eat my legs?”

“Sure would,” she said not wanting to lie. Few things were as amenable to her palate as a rabbit's hind legs in its own gravy with baking powder biscuits atop them while they simmered on low for a long while for there was so much muscle there it could be too tough for her to eat with just her gums and she had given up on her dentures years before when it hurt to use them more than it helped to chew. “You would not mind, would you? I mean God would never leave you dead and according to him it does not hurt you like it looks. He would just resurrect your spirit and put you somewhere else.”

“That's a lie. God does not make material things anymore. He just told you that so you would not feel guilty with all us critters you have eaten,” the rabbit said. “I would die and my spirit would go to his memory where if you thought on me one day me my spirit could hop near just like I did today. It is not being dead to be in God's memory. But what are the chances you would remember me? You shooting me would be the last thing that happened to me and dying is like everything else. It happens but the thought of you eating my hind legs bothers me somehow. I may be an animal but I am very acquainted with fear. I think it is because he gave me the desire to live and anything that even alludes to that not happening makes me afraid.”

“I would make the same exact rabbit you would shoot moments before your shotgun went off. You would not see a thing. But come the next day there would be the same exact rabbit munching on the clover over there and you might still have some of the meat from his hind legs stuck in your gullet.”

“Who was that do you suppose?” she asked the rabbit.

“I am the new God. Just call me John. I do not know what the old God would have done. But I am willing to bet that the next time you feasted on her hind legs she would be spirit and not physical. Of course there is no difference. But the old God would have put her some place else to make you think you had actually killed her. I am not like that. You would wonder, 'Is that the same rabbit I just ate,' and it would be up to you to decide whether you actually killed anything or not.”

“May be. But let's not and just say we did okay?” the rabbit said.

The woman pulled up her shot gun aimed as best she could and brought the rabbit down. Then she went down and picked it up, easily skinned it and put it in a pot to simmer just like she said she would.

The next morning had a few morning clouds. But there the rabbit sat eating clover.

“Good day to you! I see you are back today,” she said.

“You still have another leg sitting in salt water to rid it of blood to eat,” the rabbit said. “I will not be here tomorrow. I find it rude what you did to me yesterday.”

When she went to see if there was any mail the mailman was not far down the road. So when he came to her box she told him the story as had it been the Gospel.

He listened to every bit of it.

Then he said, “I wonder if that is not exactly what happens to us.”

I said with her mouth, brain and tongue, “No, every thing human comes to heaven to be with me when they die.”

They both marveled that she had said, “Me,” instead of “God,” or something. But it did not bother the mailman. There were a lot of strange things people on his route had said to him over the years.