Love Hate Relationshiip

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I stayed hidden. When something miraculous took place I hid it. When something I did became known to others I hid. When I said things that only I could say, I really stayed hid then and when I did things nobody else could do I kept it between me and God. He hadn't been mean to me and he was humble evil people's God. Well, I sure was that. I didn't want Jesus to hear me, hear of me, hear something I said and God was right good at keeping it to himself at least if he wasn't he didn't do so as anyone might notice. He worked through me some, well that's not really fair. I didn't give him a lot of opportunities. But I got what I wanted. You never heard of me. I had to get ready. Now you hate me for taking gambling and betting away from you. It's not for a decent person to gamble but I saw your point you were bored at always being safe so I made a bargain with God to keep it unsafe and dangerous like it was on earth. I being safe forgot how much that stuck in my head. I never thought I would like it, but you're right. With no chance anything can go wrong it does take some of the excitement out of life but with no chance anything can go wrong you can jump off the Empire State Building head first and not get hurt. Think how scary that would be! Why make God do it. Do it to yourself. Get into a head on collision with your little car and a huge Lincoln the other one guaranteed to survive! Make your own excitement by working with God a little bit then do it. If you like to be scared. Personally I never did like adrenaline, fear, anxiety, scared, worry and uneasiness. They are things I don't mind doing to others because some people actually enjoy that, but I never did like.

It's like knowing the truth is about to come out and you were just lying as a defense mechanism not vicious, starting a row, but keeping things going with how stupid I had been or how wrong I had been not cutting anyone down, being kinder to people than the truth would allow, building them up and saying something negative about yourself all along because that's what people want to hear, the negative, the juicier the better and something they could repeat to cut your image to shreds anytime the urge or opportunity came to you. You see if I had a bad reputation no one would expect anything good from me and if something good came from me I hid who did it so the other ones wouldn't know until I was ready.

Once I had my heart set on something but there was no way God was going to let me have it the way I was going about it. I just planted my feet and looked him right at him and said, “Who do you think you're messing with God?” He saw I got it good as I wanted and maybe more, but I wasn't ready yet. I was going to get Jesus for being the Only Son of God. It took a lot but I did it. Now that's all bygones are bygones I hope since we want the same things.

I give you betting. Jesus hates betting as much as God. They don't gamble. They make 100% sure before they do anything or allow anything. I like the safety of it but not the boredom of it always working alright and they get heal sometimes nothing even happens to me. I like that and by talking God into helping it be more tenuous of a safe thing I leave the door right open for him, Me and Jesus to do that to me and even that gives me anxiety. Of all the things there is except for evil working out I hate anxiety the most. But what extra you get out of safety after you have just had a settee with some anxious things is a lot more valuable to life just so long as it doesn't happen so much you begin to think you are being punished for being evil when all you do is good. You hate it. It makes you malcontent. But it's a lot better this way and I have settled on never changing it. That is why when you are complaining about it sometimes it feels better than before. You think it's the complaining that feels good but it's because it's better and subconsciously you know it and I am hip to it and it looks, feels and sounds like praise. I helped you when no one else would because they believed you just like you believe it. I didn't buy it. Now it's better. I love it when you complain. I love the praise you are so ignorant you don't realize you are giving me. Evil can love. You just have to decode the truth. God never imagined what it would be like to say something someone else didn't make him say when he was speaking for us. That's the way it went we know what was in the box we imagine to imagine it in almost with animal instinct. Do I know us or not? Who can pull your pranks no matter how petty to feel good? I'm a God now and I know all of them. You hate luck because it hurts so bad when it goes against you. God has the right answer to what you want. Betting is thinking something exists that does not that sure seems like it. You're crazy to think there can be luck and God controlling all things. It's not luck even if you seem to win. It's God and he'll manipulate randomness to make sure you loose even if you stop right now. You will gamble again and you, will, lose. Besides rehabilitation is not really much fun. If I hadn't have showed you how ready you were to fall for it and then took it all away you would never know what gambling is. It is just that all the way and you know it and you will go crazy and not believe it, see how close it was with the way your thinking that is not the way it is, it builds you up and then it is suddenly when it counts most... gone. If you don't believe that you have done insane and if it hasn't happened to you yet God saw the exact time you went crazy and has been being nice to you. You would die if only you knew the truth and he doesn't want you to die. You know all this. I took insanity away from you. I took fiction away from you so it couldn't take you over like it did when God died. But I gambled you wouldn't hate me if I did. I didn't see that you praise me with your being malcontent. Say any hateful thing you want to me. It is praised you cannot help but express for saving you from betting and evil.

But you have been wronged by removing yourself from being in God whom you love in like manner. The stronger your inner feelings to complain and be miserable the greater your adoration rather like one that loves the one they laid with after they have broken up. The more you want to lie with them the stronger your impulse is to get away from them proving that you love God more than me and that you love goodness more than the evil you remember being. In God's presence should you allow yourself to reenter the greater you actually want to be in him an attraction so strong you cannot control your desire to escaping him proving that you love him more than anyone else just like lying with an estranged lover. No higher praise is possible than for you to be in God and be so uncomfortable you cannot stand being in him a phenomenon that is eased by being with him at a greater distance where you can feel more at ease just in his goodness than you were in him and his holiness. It is so much so that you find a more intense desire to even criticize him as you do to also praise me. You are malcontents. Discontent in God whom you love more than anyone else and even more likely to prove it by criticizing God at the distance you have chosen to be away from him because of the tendency of not wanting to express your need and gratefulness that he is who he is in your consequence of being the first to die in the knowledge that without him you too would join him in nothingness. Your evil hate is a facade a defense mechanism that keeps you further away from him you love tragically. Are you not good all the way through even as you learn when you are rehabilitated for some evil you have done a break down of you insanity to be away from us whom you define as goodness the very thing you have always craved even when evil but did not know it. No one wants to be a tragic case and hate the God that gave them albeit evilness and yet I have brought you to a point where everyone including yourselves see the proof you love them and him a tragic but therefore an even more lovable person displaying even in great displeasure an even stronger love for God than the good ones who are comfortable with being in him. Your struggle is in us all but them. But he who has been given more and your have been given evermore love for God than the rest of the more intensely you love to the point you cannot barely maintain sanity at the thought of being in God which will be either unchanged as we move to endlessness or dissipate so that you can at last do what you want which is to worship and even hug God and never let him go. He loves the good sure, but he loves evil equally. Hate and love are both strong emotions and are actually the same one with some expressing love more tragically with Satan being the one that loved him so perfectly there was no distance he could be more comfortable with him forcing him to break out in a skillful raged designed to murder the very one's he love God and Jesus Christ.

Of course they also love Jesus because of the similitude of wrong done Jesus of Nazareth and providing the only way for them to atone for their murders which they cannot do for it draws them even closer to the catharsis when the one saved by Jesus Christ is saved agreeing to die to the struggle by admitting they have the love/hate struggle and allow all the hate to die to be made one with the Lord acting out and showing their evil which is proof of their greater love for his blessed goodness. They like my mother love him more than her own son though he is a God and without the God that made him an alien God compared to John who was born on earth whom they can love because he is one of them rather than an alien sort of God not made by God but none the less the God who thought he was dying for their evil. If they are estranged from John and estranged from God because of love their evil should be appeased and their comfortable feelings be more apparent with Jesus than either of us making their stay to endlessness reach a more mollified level in Jesus Christ than even Me who recognizes their goodness and stands with their definition and actually being good no matter how they must be treated to return to the Kingdom.

Jesus, they need rehabilitation more than isolation and you are welcome to use my angels that specialize in that. Please be loving to those we care so much about and as we have learned care so deeply for us they cannot stand it. I make even your old ones who have turned good. God has agreed to forget their evil past and accept them as beloved persons in him or as near him as they can stand. But some of them are both evil and good and a God cannot actually come into God but only figuratively and they cannot do anything but kill me who gave the truth of their love/hate struggle. But vowing to destroy me is reason for rehabilitation and theirs will never end if they cannot do more than Satan. They destroy themselves to come against me but for evil, the very evil we have been discussing in terms of hate and love. They will have in a sense fallen away with the only remedy for their crisis to reform or go down in nothingness all the way to nothing. It took love to call God back from there. Who would endanger us all by refusing to recognize they are better off there than with the intensity of love for me be an endless thing that there is no remedy for since the go to a place no one will look upon that they might reach them to raise them. One has done this and nobody knows where he is. God we knew where in nothingness he went and had some idea where he was. This one could be anywhere with love he cannot stand to bring him back or someone that did not love him or us to call him back. He starts to come back but nothingness destroys him again and again.