The Difference

~

When God was dead I created a person. A person has a mind, will and emotions and may be anything from just a mind, a spirit or both with a mind and will of their own that is not just a character the writer makes think, say, do and want everything the author says.

I gave him the past of a dead man. He never said or did anything that hadn't been said or done by someone else in his entire life and the only spiritual thoughts he ever had were the usual abundance of sexual things that seemed to almost fill his thought life. He was not the sort of man a woman would notice sexually unless her libido was in high gear and there was no other man around at the moment. Sexually he was not unusually spiritual and did not have sex he enjoyed that much or that often. But it was not all my fault. He had thoughts I gave him like I would any person. He just never paid any attention to what I said and so did not take me up on any of my suggestions at all hardly.

So I gave him the thought that verbalized would have went, “I am you.” That cleared his mind. I had never given him the thought before and he had never considered being someone else or someone else being him rather.

“If you are,” his spoken words shocked me in a way for it was knew for him to react to me let alone actually reply to a thought I had given him, “Are you taking me over or has this been going on all my life? I have never had a thought from someone I considered to be someone else even myself.”

'I never gave you one,' the next thought I sent him might have been verbalized. 'I was not that desperate to think such a thing but you never listen to anything I say.'

“Then you were not me but now you are?” he asked aloud.

'I have always been you,' I verbalized in his mind, 'You always just said and did the thing that seemed to be the next thing and never thought about it. That is why your thought life amounts to almost nothing that other people have not or that they would not have thought, said or done.'

He understood the complexity being him and knowing immediately that I was telling him the truth.

'What should I do then?' he would have verbalized in his mind were he that sort of man.

'Whatever you want to do,' I would have verbalized. 'Don't ever do anything you do not want to do.'

The idea was novel to him. Always decide whether I want to do something before I do it!

'I want to stop listening to you to you, myself,' he would have verbalized it again.

'I am not yourself,' I would have verbalized, 'I am you. You are not me.'

That cleared his mind again.

He saw a young woman that was not particularly attractive but not abhorrent to him in any way but just a girl and he smiled at her as their glances were exchanged.

'Why did you do that,' I verbalized.

'Do what?' he would have verbalized. 'Smile when she looked my way?' Then he thought a moment and said, 'I always do.'

'Did you want to?' I verbalized.

“I didn't not want to and it seemed the thing to do next,” he said.

'That is why I have come to talk to you,' I didn't verbalize. 'A dog would do that. A zombie might do that. But you are a man, a person with a will of your own.'

'It is what I want to do almost all the time, if not all the time,' he never verbalized.

'People who do that are not people,' I verbalized. 'If they are they are dead people. I want you to live.'

He did not even meet the eyes of the next person to pass him.

'Now you are just doing what seems to be the next thing to do because of what I said to you,' I verbalized.

He surprised me. He got the idea and decided to meet the eyes of an older man that walked his way. He even decided he would say, “Hello.”

'Don't ever stop doing that,' I verbalized. 'Make it a habit.'

Before long his decisions led him to listen to a man about his age that was a Christian. He didn't accept Jesus but decided to attend church and read the Holy Bible and before it was over he became a Christian.

But when he died I happened to see him by the way and asked him what made him become a Christian noticing he said nothing a Christian doesn't say or doing anything out of the ordinary for a Christian to do.

He said something that surprised me, “It seemed like the next thing to do.”

“All you had to do was love and be loving,” I said to him, “And you could have been in me.”

“I stopped thinking what I wanted to do and started doing what they wanted me to do,” he said as had he realized he could be dead again, “It seemed to be more me.”

He had been happy enough. Now he seemed to be more worried about something than happy.