The Rest of my Life

1

In a part or God's mind if he decides it is true I created a universe that was actually many universes. What God does not hallucinate which would imply he is imagining things or at least creating things outside the mind of God you all live in. The only way for you to get here is to see him or I and die or if you are immutable to scream forever alive in this place, be made here or be one of those that died when God show them his true appearance leaving him alone in his mind. To me it is like reality, an empty reality I hallucinated everything in. But I do away with all that and we find ourselves in the universe we left except that it is where they are out near infinity both the dead and the screamers. But our earth is bigger than earth with only one continent with an ocean in the middle of one of its sides small enough for ancient vessels to traverse much more easily than the troubles they had on earth with the Atlantic not to mention the Pacific. One mountain range cuts its way all the way across the land to the ocean. It is a grand mountain range to behold. A global map of the planet would run from the mountain range on the left all the way to the same mountain range on the right with the ocean off center somewhere near the center of one half the map. But it appears to be a real place to me except I know it is subject to my powers and thus the powers of God. The Spirit of God is back home on earth assisting Jesus who is trying to run our home planet as best they can and they can. We have no reason to be there and no purpose to our being there. They will be there without end and if our creation somehow comes to an end and we survive we will die then. We are irrelevant to them and them to us except for the times they need God or hopefully even me to help them.

We start with all the life that is on earth but the hyena who was never part of God's plan and the jackal is the only predator on the land. The rest of the predators are there but do not eat meat fresh or carrion like the birds except fish that eat other fish. But there are snakes that eat rodents and bugs of most kinds as do all the animals and then there is man, a strange looking creature with two arms and two legs but four hands. He has no mind or brain but has only God's mind and all of it the same. His males are large about six foot three, two hundred forty pounds. They eat nuts and berries where they can be found and do not hunt for food or kill animals for any reason and the animals except for the jackals do not kill each other except by accident while rutting for mates. His females are all fat. God loves fat women. They are shorter by a hair but can stand their own against any male. And, they are all over the planet with many living in boats on the ocean and seas, lakes and even large rivers that eat fish, plants and algae but only rarely go ashore.

The boats are nearly all flat for the waves are light in the ocean. There are thousands maybe a million such boats with a shelter at one end but otherwise the deck is open with a rail all the way around to the shelter. People often put logs between ships and visit each other especially in the evenings when they use the fat of a certain type of fish they catch to make oil for lamps and for torches to light their way. They work hard all day but at night they rest sometime sleeping but not often. Their minds do not require sleep and only their bodies need to be inactive for about 6 hours a day which is about 26 hours from sundown to sundown but nobody pays much attention to the time of day and they always have several lines down to catch fish baited with minnows and bugs.

A man named Flora had one such boat. She was larger than most females but that was not the reason she was alone. She liked being alone and spent her entire day talking to God's mind.

God told her, “Flora, you should find a mate.”

She said, “I have you. What would I want with a mate?”

“You are a good cook. You could cook for him. Men are not very good cooks except for the ones that are. When they are good cooks there is none better than they are. He could do some of the heavy lifting around the boat.”

“Men are big hairy slobs,” she said.

“Surely you want to mate a girl your age.”

“I am too old to go boat to boat like a young one and I don't know any man that is not taken.”

“Taken or not, Flora. You should mate.”

“Steal a husband from another girl, one of my friends!”

“You might be surprised how much she likes it.”

“What do I do? What do I say? I am not that way. Some girls act like they are a useless cat in heat.”

“Just begin to start talking to the men. When you find one you like he might ask you and if he doesn't ask him why he don't.”

Then God was silent for he saw she favored the idea.

Long about evening there was a man on her boat as she was squeezing fish fat to make fresh oil for she was not out but her supply was beginning to look like it could use some more. Flora was not a lazy woman and all her stocks were always kept plentiful with only her to use them and to replenish them.

“Greetings,” he said being a jolly sort of personality.

Flora looked at him unable to remember when there had been a man on her boat and just about the time she settled on the idea there had never been he said, “I have been noticing you are always alone at your labors all the day long and that when evening comes you visit the same boats but return early to sleep alone. Do you have any fish to eat? I have some.” Then he held up a limb with about six fish on it. “I like to cook. But I am a terrible cook and waste too many. Would you be pleased to fry these up for me tonight before you go visiting?”

Flora silently took the fish and laid them on a board and in what seemed moments they were ready to eat but he wanted them fried. What a nice treat! So she brought out her wood and stoked a good fire and lay the fish on a metal plate in a flat part of the pile and began to fry his fish.

“Talk to him, Flora,” God said.

She looked at him just standing there leaning against the rail.

“After we eat would you like to go visiting with me tonight?” she asked finding his quiet manner easy to handle.

“No, no,” he said, “I am without a mate. The men that you visit? They do not like to share and their women know it. It makes it uncomfortable when I go to visit them.”

“What happened to your mate?” she asked.

“She is with me,” he began, “Then she is not. One time she didn't come back. And, I am too old to go from boat to boat looking for a mate. It makes me feel awkward. Not like being here talking to you. Say, what if we eat my fish? Then when we are full we just visit right here for a change?”

'You are saying things for him, aren't you?' she said to God and I chuckled knowing someone had brought him either himself or God because I hadn't.

They stayed together for a long time.

Visitors came to Flora's boat and they talked and rested much of the nights together she and them and Jiim who used her boat to enlarge hers but one night God said to them. “I die. I leave my mind with you. So it is as had I been here but I am very old and have no reason to be and purpose in being. I am tired. Good-bye."

I created them. I guess that makes me their God too. But remember until this body dies I am still on earth in Bemidji with you. Then God promises we will leave it all to Jesus, the entire rest of the universe and go somewhere I cannot even fathom and start over. We will always remember you living here forever as God promised. Because of me we saved all but a few odd balls that had to be put to death.

Then I stood on their boat.

"Who are you?" Flora asked.

"Just don't call me anything," I said, "People back home called me John for most of my life. Then some took to calling me the Great God. I am a God like you are with the mind of God and a spirit. You have a spirit to, the one that comes in your mind which is God's mind but I have my own mind which does not mean I know any more than you. I just have a different way of doing things than he did. But listen up! I have come to tell you Flora that you and Jiim will be leaving soon for a place called Nazarena in a remote place. One year after we arrive you will have a child. It will be my man in this place whether male or female."

"I thought you said the baby would be a man," she said.

The spirit of the mind of God said, "Just as an animal is a jackal, some are male and some are female and man is some male and some female. But my man will here my voice and have the mind of God. My man will be a prophet--"

'What's this prophet he speaks of?' Flora wondered.

"Anything my man says will be true to me, my man and all the rest of man."

"We are just to abandon our boat and follow you just like that because you appeared on our boat?" Jiim said.

"You will," I said. "I have spoken."

"How can you know something like that?" he said.

"I am God," I said, "I have said and it will happen. There is nothing I cannot do among you."

"Listen to him!" Flora said.

"Have you ever told Flora a story?" I asked Jiim.

He looked at me and we all knew he had.

"Only some of it happened," I said, "That is only some of it was true. The rest was up to God or me. Now God is dead here. That leaves only me."

He saw it in God's mind and fell to the logs at the bottom of the boat.

"You see me," I said and Flora wondered at this thing I said to Jiim.

2

In the morning I stood on shore.

They quickly got their things together and abandoned their boat. When they got to shore the land felt really weird to them because it did not move which was one of the reasons they rarely went to shore it felt like something unworldly to them. They only did it then because they needed something from shore and there was no alternative. Jiim stood on one foot and then put all his weight on the other and repeated this in several places but found it did not give at all no matter where he did it as Flora laughed because he was making a joke. He had been ashore before a few times. But they looked for me and could not find me.

I had gone some distance from shore toward the mountains that were insurmountable by land and would require a boat to get around them or some serious rock climbing for miles and miles raising rocky islands that went well out into the ocean and were unapproachable to by the boats there being so many sunken piles of rocks that jutted out from water covered foothills of the mountains. For that reason it was thought to be the end of the world. Nobody had ever traversed the mountains and to go around the islands would take one so far out to sea they could not have seen them with the naked eye.

Then they began to walk toward me wondering whether I would lead them over the end of the world.

“What you see is what you want to see,” I said to them. “This is not the end of the world. It is not where it begins. The world is round. Should you start here and cross the mountains and walk the length of the world you will arrive here again from the other way.”

They stood and looked at each other.

“I don't know about this God,” Jiim said.

“He says some strange things,” Flora said, “But they are in my mind.”

Jiim thought she had gone insane until he found it in his understanding of what was in God's mind also. Then he got a headache like no other headache he had ever felt, like it would fill his head and it would explode.

“Do not worry Jiim,” I said, “This pain is only in you. Do not imagine anymore pain or try to understand what set it off. Just accept it and you will not die.” Then as he stopped imagining pain and let go of wondering how that was possible I took the rest of his pain upon myself and then let it go knowing pain is only an illusion originally invented by God while he was doing what Satan on earth would have done to make it so that in reality though not in the truth of you people there yet believe. Satan did nothing. God did it all knowing Satan would if he didn't and he did not one as evil as Satan deciding any part of his reality. Satan was nothing, is nothing and cannot ever be anything again unless God does it for he too can do anything, but there is no reason to and there is no purpose in it and it will always be that. Satan was never actually made by God. It is impossible even for me or God to make something that was made nothing from beginning to end by me or God that has been so changed in such a way it would be what it had changed into nothing and nothing else. He was not, he is not and he can no longer ever be even by God for God cannot actually make nothing be anything it was not and have it identical and it would only appear to be, say and do the same thing deciding in the end to put a permanent end to itself when it never really had a beginning and never actually did, said or was anything but a source of thoughts for God to carry out if he wanted. Everything he did to Satan he did because he wanted it that way. He can do that to you or to me at any time he wants to time being no barrier to him. He could go back to your first thought think it, think all the thoughts you had all your life, say everything you said, do anything you did and even if you wanted or did not want to have done any of that leave you as nothing but one of his thoughts which he has done to all of us not me. I may even do that to you. That is why were are God and you are man.

But God has said nothing I said here, or thought here, both to imagining, hallucinating and reasoning yet but if my creation is successful he may change it a little by editing it but he may change it from anything I did and make it all what he did and leave me actually having had no part in it at all just as he did to the character Satan who turned out to be a character that was not the character he had only been thought by others to have been which adds up to nothing, not even a character that he might have role played everything there had been to him for there was nothing to him from start to finish or anywhere in between. God can delete you entirely any time God wants and I could do that but I haven't yet that I know of except maybe a short story character or two.

They walked all day never stopping to eat for I fed them though they did rest their bodies from time to time walking on land being much different that getting around on a boat had been. Then as evening fell they was a fire I had made for them and barely reached it having never reached me all day. They were exhausted physically but they did not sleep. They were not used to sleeping. They just laid around quietly for a while until their mind rested for the many mysteries they had taken in that day. Then Flora went on and on about the vegetation as had she recalled every plant she encountered and Jiim listened patiently glad not to have to make conversation and just to listen to her describe things she had seen which he had mostly missed but was in his mind though most of it was not in my mind either. She had always been interested in plants which may have played a role in me naming her Flora and she was like one that has just seen the eyes of God realizing completely new things that thrilled her to even see them not to mention learn about them which she did constantly by consulting her mind she had to rest several times before daylight broke toward the sea. During the night also I taught their legs how to walk and made expert hikers out of them as far as their bodies went and the evil in me, if there be evil in me, laughed to see how stiff and sore they were just before I left for Nazarena to prepare them for the coming. They could see me so they thought but only in their minds continually a ways off so they would not get lost.

Author's Note

God will die when this body of mine dies. There is not enough room for me and him here. He took me to a place in his reality well beyond the universe and I built a new universe thinking he would be with me. Then he explained. When this body dies something will happen. He wants to see it. So he will stay with you and us until then.

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[John Fredrick Carver]

Why Nazarena? It sort of sounds like Nazareth. A dear friend of mine was born there. It was not the place God first revealed his real self though it was the center of the mountains the center of the planet's equator which was mountains or mountainous from the ocean on that side of the planet. It would take a long time for them to figure out that the mountains were on the equator and that Nazarena was exactly the midpoint of the global map which ran from one side of the mountains to the same mountains on the other end of the map. I thought it a good place to start spiritual reality as I would tell it for all the people in the world served only their appetites and used their mind the mind of God to obtain facts but never went any further with that. Everyone on the planet was naked except for footwear and I had given the Nazarenans the only boots on the planet. They had God's mind and they used it as their own but they did not want to use it for much other than for food and creature necessities. There was no moon by the way. There were no stars either. Just black night for if they used their mind they could never actually get lost anyway if they had a destination in mind.