Peace At Last

Somethinng I wrote a while back-the image is an abstract drawing of mine

Peace At Last

Nothing to live for. Pills scattered everywhere, he took the whole damn lot. Water helped to sink them into his system. The sinister shadow of betrayal haunted his mind. The forces of the state knew who he was: Judas is timeless and takes many forms; his anguish adopts many guises as it strangles the seeker’s search for peace.

The man left the house. Awareness became fragmented. He walked to a pub nearby where he was known. Bright lights, slot machines, cracking of snooker balls and so often extremely loud people. Yet, they were sad finding superficial pleasure in an alcohol tinged facade. There was the constant tension between being known and unknown.

The man was usually a beer drinker, tonight a neat double whiskey seemed appropriate then, out into the night. All he knew was a need to end his life. The only reality was the kiss of Judas linked with the hostile arm of a state more interested in results than truth. Some people smiled and called out to him. They were elements he longed to leave behind. Someone he thought was a friend from a local church spoke to him, later he discovered Judas lives everywhere including the church.

Loved ones waited in the higher life. They were always near, he wanted to join them. He sensed their call through vibrations of vulnerability. Soon eyes might close for the last time, what then? Where would he go? Churches will often crucify the mind and over many a searching path it is the church that will often obscure the sun.

Legs weakened, breathing labored as though a weight were tied to his chest. Pausing by a bus shelter, he sat down. People passed by as they often did. Everything became darker and more distant, he wanted to die…to be free from all fear. Innocent as an autumn leaf he had just been stamped on and crushed…the dark intensified covering his eyes..people around him… sensations of being touched and handled…

It was much too late. The man was safe now. Beings glowing with gentle light carried his soul to safety. Now, only aware of light. Night with the darkness of fear and betrayal had withered away. Now he saw. It became clear that his social frame of reference and, his former existence was controlled by betrayal. Every society has the Judas it fosters and welcomes.

The man was learned and wise; a deep thinker. This, more than anything else, was why the state and its forces feared him. All he had done was to share knowledge and wisdom with others and with one in particular who had asked. It was his mind that they would always fear.

Yet, he was free now. Standing he was aware of his liberated spirit body. Others moved toward him, he knew them and ran to them with open arms…love pure and free at last…no fear at last…peace at last…

The street corner was crowded. They took him to the ambulance yet it was too late. All his life so much had been too late. Police, ambulance staff searched through his pockets wanting to know who he was.

Only now that he had made this response to fear did they want to know who he was. People watched, as if the whole scenario were entertainment then walked away all anyone truthfully wanted to do now was to wash their hands of him. Police were there, yes, who would they arrest for making suicide see his only viable option? Would they hide behind their uniforms and the sickening falsehood of personal responsibility? Those who knew, looked and walked by on the other side were responsible and there had been many.

Where the human person is de-humanized, mentally or physically tortured and undervalued tragedy is the inevitable result. Peace at last. Now he linked to loved ones in glowing glory and his unshackled soul knew peace at last.

George Coombs (658 words)