Departure

“Esther.” 

The heart monitor beside her was turned off for once.  Unplugged and finally silent, no more beeps and whistles to sound the alarm for intrusive nurses to come running.  The absence of sound hushing even the obnoxious wail of sirens that always seemed to find their way through the hospital walls.  Thank God there was finally an end to all the racket. 

“Esther?”

There was something off about him.  Beautiful and perfect, all the things she’d expect an angel to be.  But there was just something off-putting in the way he changed when the light hit him just so, much different than the other one holding vigil over that woman’s life.  Well built eye candy with chiseled features and washboard abs one moment, then you blinked and suddenly you were looking at a boy.  Wide eyed and innocent, shouldered bowed so you could swear he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.  It was downright eerie.

“Esther, you can’t go on ignoring me.  I know perfectly well you can hear me speaking your name.”  My Lord!  His voice was smoother than silk.  It sent shivers through her just listening to it.  Another strange thing, considering she was pretty sure she no longer had a body.  He seemed amused by her stubbornness and there was a fondness in the way he looked at her.  As if having known her a very long time had carved a soft spot in his heart just for her.

“Alright then, Esther, have it your way.  I’ll talk, you can listen.  I’m sure you’ll find it in you to speak your mind before I’m through.”  He donned the indulgent smile of a brother for a petulant sibling.  It shone so bright Esther was surprised the nurses didn’t come running in from the hallway.  How did he do that?  Would she be able to, in time?

“You haven’t died yet, you know.”  Well! That was an unexpected one.  “I didn’t know angels were allowed to fib to old ladies on their deathbeds.”  So much for the cool silent treatment… he did say he wanted her to speak her mind.  Sort of.

“I’m not lying to you Esther.  There’s life in you yet.  You’re not much longer for this world but for the moment you live.”  Maybe that was why she still felt physical sensation.  But if she wasn’t dead, then why were the monitors switched off?  Why was her bed empty?  Why was she floating around detached from her physical self?  What was happening to her?

“They’re operating on you right now, trying to repair the damage to your heart.  You haven’t got more than a few minutes left, but there was something I wanted you to see before my brother Sammael arrives.  I would grant you peace before he shows you the way.”  Apparently angels were cryptic creatures.  “And how exactly do you plan to do that, lad?”

There was nothing angelic in the grin he flashed at her, or the mischievous wink that followed it.  The catholic church got a thing or two wrong when they started painting their picture of what angels were like.  “I like you a whole lot more than I thought I would.”  He threw his head back and laughed, as if this unexpected statement truly made him that happy.  “From you, Esther, that is the dearest compliment I could ever hope for.”     

She smiled and in doing so blinked, but just barely.  By some magic when her eyes reopened they were on a whole different floor of the hospital.  “What I want you to see is in there, my dear friend.”  He gestured to an open door that led to a room that glowed.  Not angelic light, but natural sunlight filtering in from the huge windows. 

Big, overstuffed couches filled the space often bookended by small tables filled with magazines and books.  “This room was your doing, you know.”  Not the angel speaking now, but a girl.  “You’d get such a kick out of seeing this room filled with the furniture you donated, a library’s worth of books and magazines laying out on your tables to keep folks company while they wait for the ones they love to be okay again.” 

Esther thought for a moment she’d come across yet another angel, because right then she could see the contrast in her granddaughter so clearly.  The little girl in pigtails crying over a scraped knee and the proud woman so clearly hurting over the loss she knew was inevitable.  “Oh Nan!  I have no idea what I’m going to do with myself when you’re gone.” 

Restlessness and an intense feeling of helplessness pushed Ethel to action.  Esther had taught the girl well.  Don’t sit around and feel sorry for yourself, waiting for things to take a turn.  Go out and do something, even if it’s just to distract yourself from the inevitable. 

“Do you see what she carries in her arms, Esther dear?”  Her companion asked, a smile coloring his words.  Sure enough, the girl was holding something closely to her chest.  Travis’ clothes, and some she’d apparently added to Esther’s stash herself.  I am so proud of you, Ethel darling. She’d grown into such a lovely, strong person.  “And compassionate as well.  But you’ll see that soon enough.”

A moment passed, and again she found they had moved.  “How do you do that, boy?” The change was such a startling sensation that Esther was becoming a little put off by the vertigo that she felt whenever it happened. 

The angel was asleep, bowed over the bed before him.  The blonde woman’s hand still grasped firmly in his seemed to be screaming stay here with me.  Someone had tucked a quilt around his bare upper body to keep him warm but nothing had been done to help the tangled mess of hair that had become his hair.  Even in sleep he looked every inch the tortured soul.

“That is my brother, Raphael.  The woman is his Catherine.”  It was nice to have names for them both, at last.  She wanted to ask him what had happened.  Why was Catherine so sick?  How had Raphael become so attached to her? 

Ethel took her time entering the room, stepping slowly careful not to let her shoes squeak on the shiny linoleum floor.  This was the first time any of them had seen the man sleeping in days.  “The last time I saw her tiptoeing that carefully she was seven and trying to sneak a cookie after bedtime.” 

She was a thoughtful child, her Ethel; always careful to consider everyone’s needs.  This was no exception.  She knelt quietly next to Raphael in order to leave the pile of clothes somewhere they wouldn’t go unnoticed.  This way he’d have to step on them before getting up from his chair.  No way to miss them, then, was there?  Through it all she remained careful not to wake the sleeping man in the chair.

Pausing by the door as she left she whispered into the room. “You take good care of her now, you hear?” She might have been speaking to Raphael, but her eyes were on the spot where Gabriel stood, though he and Esther were invisible to her eyes. “We will, little one.” He answered, and although Ethel couldn’t hear him it seemed his words helped. Hugging herself she took a deep breath and moved on.

“I’m going to miss the little whippersnapper.” Esther sighed longingly as the room began to fade around her. “Time passes differently where you’re going. You won’t have to miss her for long. You’ll see.”

Gabriel had become a disjointed voice coming from all around her. Instead of the darkness she had expected with death, she was greeted by a warm and welcoming glow that wrapped itself around her permeating her very being. She felt safe and loved.

There was a small hand in hers. A beautiful blond little girl smiled up at her from somewhere down at knee level. “Hi Esther. I’m Molly.” Oh. Well, this wasn’t so bad. “Hello Molly. I’m pleased to meet you. Could you excuse an old woman? This is all so new to me and I’m not quite sure what’s expected. Will you show me the way, sweetheart?” Molly nodded solemnly, never dropping that lovely shining smile.

Together they walked into the warmth of the rays that bathed them in light. Whatever would come next, Esther was sure to make the best of it and cause a little mischief along the way.