Fallen

A soldier/pilot is given the will to go on while surveying the wreckage of his plane

A man in uniform stands on the crest of a grassy hill, the wreck that once was a plane visible in the valley below him. Covered in soot, ash and blood from the crash, his eyes held a distant look. The grim scene below was not the one he saw. Instead of the downed fighter plane and the broken men scattered around it he saw her.

 

She stood before him in a flowing white dress, arms reaching out to him. Concern in her eyes and a sweet smile gracing her lips. Her soft voice acting as a balm on his raw emotions. She always had a calming effect on him in the worst situations.

“Don’t be afraid” the vision spoke

“I know you’re hurt and I know you’re weary of the path you’ve chosen. It’s taken you so far away from everyone you love and who love you.” Her palm delicately cupped his cheek. “Your men are broken, your plane is in pieces and all seems lost.”

 

“I just want to give up… lie down and let it all go. I’ve dreamt of doing it for years now.” Tears were streaming down his cheeks, making tracks in the grime so the pink of his skin showed beneath.

“Oh sweetheart, don’t give up. You’ve been training your whole life for this. Your men need you to help them get home alive.” He found comfort in the fingers that stroked his cheek. He took her hand in his and kissed her palm lightly.

 

“I’m sorry… I just can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to.” The anguish was visibly tearing him apart from the inside out.

 

She kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her the way he’d dreamed he would since the day they last parted so very long ago and just held her close. “John, honey, take my strength. Take it and finish this.” It was a whisper tickling his ear. She pulled back so their eyes could meet. He framed her face with his big rough hands.

“I love you John.” He came undone. “I love you. Know it and take what you need from it to go on.” He could only nod as the emotion swept through him, tears still coursing from heartbroken eyes. Tenderly she wiped them away. As quickly as it had hit him, the tidal wave subsided. He squared his shoulders again, ever the soldier as he took a deep steadying breath. She looked him straight in the eye in such a way that he was certain she was looking directly at his soul. There was an almost imperceptible smile as she nodded slowly. She’d reached him.

 

“It’s time to go now. It’s time to finish this.”

“I…” there was so much he needed to say but there were just no words.

“One last time John. Finish it, bring your boys out alive. Then come home and find me. I’m waiting for you.” She kissed him, barely touching his lips with her own and turned to go. As the vision began to dissipate he heard her voice one last time, giving him the hope he needed to go on.

“Come on home love. I’m here waiting for you to find me. Always have been.”

Then she was gone.

 

His eyes flew open, the words “No, don’t go” still on his lips. His arm would have been outstretched to reach for her were it not pinned beneath him. There was a pool of blood spreading beside him that started somewhere under his legs. Whether it was his or not, he couldn’t say.

 

The dream had come again. It was always the same. When he lost hope she came to him, offering him strength and love. This time it may well have saved his life, he thought ruefully as he lay still and tried to take stock of the damage done to his body. One thing had been different: she’d never asked him to come home before. The last time they’d parted five years earlier, both their hearts had been broken.

 

He’d been leaving for yet another tour of duty. She’d begged him not to go when she never had before. It was the first and only time she would. Unfortunately the choice hadn’t been his to make. He was an officer and his men were as much his responsibility as his family. If he didn’t risk his life right along side of them what kind of man would he be? Certainly not one worthy of her love and respect.

 

She’d come to see him off the day he flew out, she and her young son. It had hurt just to see them even though he’d needed them to be there. The little man had hugged him tight and told him solemnly to be safe. John couldn’t help but smile. He’d knelt before the boy and made him promise to take care of his mom until they could all be together again. Promise made, he’d kissed the child on the forehead and ruffled his hair then turned his attention to the woman with the tears in her eyes.

 

Obviously fighting the urge to cry, she held him close one last time. He caught the scent of soap as the softness of her cheek brushed his stubble roughened one. She kissed him softly and whispered to him how proud she was of him and that even though she wished he could stay with her she believed in him and that the choice he’d made was the right one. One last kiss, one more ‘I love you’ and then they were gone. If only he’d known that it would be the last time he would see them. There was so much more he could have… would have said.

 

He wrote to them twice a week for the first six months away, and she’d written back for three of them. After the fourth month his letters started coming back ‘return to sender – no longer at this address’ unopened and unread. A year later when his tour was up the first place he went was home to see her. He was angry and he wanted answers. Six months of returned letters and no explanation to her sudden silence. It had torn him apart daily, not knowing if they were okay and desperately needing… just her. By God he would have answers.

 

The house was empty, a realtor’s ‘for sale’ sign on the front lawn. They told him she’d moved the week of her last letter. Her neighbors had no idea where she’d gone or why. The pain of losing them cut deep and embedded itself in his soul.

 

He could easily have used his connections to find out where she had gone, could easily have tracked her down to the ends of the earth if he’d wanted to. He didn’t though. The betrayal had been too much to bear. His pride wouldn’t let him follow her. So deep was his sense of rejection that he actually pictured her happily married somewhere, glad that she had made the choice to leave.

Why hadn’t she said something? Why hadn’t she told him she was moving or her reasons for leaving? Why hadn’t she said goodbye and explained herself? He didn’t follow because he was positive that she didn’t want to be found.

 

A career military man, he threw himself into his work. The war was in full swing and he gave himself to it. In the five years he spent in the thick of one war or another not one of his boys had been lost or left behind. They, however, had almost lost him dozens of times. His boys were positive he had a death wish. The stunts he pulled were often crazy and kamikaze-like in nature. They were right to think it. He did have a death wish. Loosing everything sometimes has that effect on a person.

 

The dreams had been there all along. They happened whenever he found himself in a situation where he had to choose between life and death. He knew that these dreams were his subconscious telling him what he needed to hear to keep going. Deep down he knew they weren’t real, but they felt real and when they overcame him like that it was always enough.

Now she had asked him to come home, and that’s what he would do. “If I ever get out of here I swear I’ll find you again.” He whispered into the smoky darkness. Decision made, he gingerly started picking himself out of the wreckage. There was work to do. He had to get his boys out of here. He was going home. “I’m coming sweetheart. I’m coming home.” She was right. It was time.

 

* * * * *

 

She woke in a cold sweat, shaking and crying uncontrollably. Her dreams were becoming more disturbing. Each one held John facing death, bloody and battered with all hope lost. Always she spoke her heart and tried to instill in him the strength and hope he needed. When it was over she could only hope that it had been enough. It was hard to remember that they were just dreams.

 

She said a silent prayer that the crash in her dream was really and truly just a product of her overactive subconscious. Leaving had been the hardest thing she had ever done. She’d harbored a secret hope ever since that he would come after her. She’d meant what she’d said in the dream… she wanted him to find her and come home. She would wait for him forever. It was just too bad that he would never know it.

Reviews

[Mysteral - Night Prowle..]

This is wonderful, so emotional, but I have to ask, why did you end it there. I'm torn between whether John did get home, or whether he didn't. So many questions unanswered, who is she? Is he the father of the boy? Why did she move without telling him?
Terrific writing, well done and thanks for giving the opportunity to review the piece.

[Eman]

hey Gen..it's le@
i finally sat down and finished it..very nicely done..
i loved the drama..kinda reminded me of pearl harbor...and that's one of my fav movies.
Great Job

[Krystal Waters]

moving... I could imagine what was going on. I think you did a great job.