You Hold The Rights I�ll Never Own

A bunch of mixed emotions all rolled in to one person.

 Is anyone ever ready to say goodbye to someone they hold dear? Is everyone ever ready for the wave of hurt that is going to come?

So, with you holding all the rights that I will never own is it ok for me to beg you not to take that person from me? Can I plead for you to spare her life for a while longer? Is it ok for me to be selfish not only for myself but for my family’s sake as well? Can I be able to introduce her to my future husband? Can she be there for the birth of my future unborn child? Can she please be able to watch her two youngest grandchildren grow? Is it too much to ask?

Can you help me not be bitter towards another? Can you help me feel like she does respect me? Can you help me feel like she does care about how I feel? Can you help me not feel envious of the two of them? That they have someone they can lean on for support. They have someone they love and can be their strength. Do I not deserve that?

Is it wrong that at the moment I could care less about other topics? Is it wrong that all I want is for someone to just hold me and reassure me that things will get better? Is it wrong to feel this way? Should I just suck it up and deal with it and except the inevitable even though that means I have to say goodbye?

Author's Note

This was again, written last year during some difficult times. Thought I would share it.