Remember

I shut my eyes and you fall through
The creases in our elderly skin,
When our bodies hold each other,
Squeezing until the warm mattress seeps into the ground
And we lay together.
Eyes wide and icy
Injected with age.

If you could say but one more word
What would that word be?
‘Remember’ is the word i would choose
As the nails drive through my feet,
As you take my hand and follow the veins Back up to my heart,
And hear it beat that one last time
And you nod that you remember.

You’d say ‘us’ in quiver tones
And write our song in crimson blood,
Over huts and carriages,
Over hospitals and houses,
So that even the blind could read,
So that even the blind could see.

 

Reviews

[Luther]

i utterly take your point. i re-read the poem and tend to agree with what you say. it's always nice to have an outside point of view. it helps you see what is written clearly before your eyes. the first stanza is going! thank you for the advice and your truthfulness and for the review!

[Charles]

My kind of poetry. Well-scripted verse, direct and foccused on the subject (as written and as revealed in the title)... with a single exception, that is. The first stanza doesn't match the thread in the remaining stanzas and doesn't lead into the remainder of the poem. I tried reading it without the first stanza and don't think it loses anything bythe stanza's ommission. I like the poem starting right in with the observations on aging and ending with the enigmatic: even the blind could read... even the blind couldsee. Some great lines throughout the poem - good imagery. Well done. :-)