A Hand Upon A Hand

With feigned resentment for the night
I struck a match, to draw the light,

And with it, summoned from the earth,

A blackened tear, given birth

Upon her aching limbs of woe,

Amidst a field of sewn sorrow.

 

I placed a hand upon a hand

To drag her from the second land,

Where she descended, just before

My hand could pull her heart ashore,

And now she lies upon the grass,

Her soul adrift, among the stars.

 

Although her heart is vacant now,

I take her hand and say the vows,

For she today would be my own

Had she not for the heavens flown,

Then as the veil is washed aside

I see my face in pale demise.

 

Within this sight, I understand,

It was my hand upon my hand,

And when my heart had stirred for her,

It was but me who caused this stir,

So now I ask, which one am I?

He who lived or she who died?

Reviews

[Scott S]

There are not many poems that truly knock me over, but this is certainly one. I thought this was fantastic. Very deep and also very woeful. I like the flow, and the overall style that the General uses for his delivery. I find myself reading it over and over to find other meanings, hidden nuances that I may have missed. A sense of loss is quite apparent for this man, over someone that he must have cared for deeply. This will go directly to my library and into my favorites. Very, very nice.

[Brianna Brie]

This truly is an amazing write! It has a perfect rhyme to it. Deep and sorrowful...

[emmajoy]

Oh my goodness, i wasn't expecting that ending! Gulp, deep breath.

This has so many twists and turns, even though they're subtle.. but they're tragic and heart rending, but somehow the love expressed is so delicate.. this makes a beautiful poem.

[Paige Sperry]

This left me feeling hollow, empty, yet amazed. This poem from first word to last is completely captivating, very emotional, and so heartfelt that I feel it could touch even the hardest of hearts. It flowed masterfully and didn't hit a single snag, not a word seemed out of place, nor a line repeated. Fantastic.
I hope you have a wonderful new year,
Paige.

[Abba]

I think this is absolutely beautiful. General manages to capture the grief that this man must be feeling perfectly, and he is able to project that into the hearts of every person who reads this poem. It flows nicely, without any snags. It's very powerful and striking.