Decaying Existance

I know no escape from this world,
I pray and I plead for a release
But my desires are frowned upon
And eventually cease into something that once belonged.

I can feel no passion in this loveless world,
Where dreams come to mean no more
Than an unfulfilled desire.

I live my days, longing for no more.

Why I cannot obey my wildest ambition
And put an abrupt end
To my painful reliance upon a beating heart,
I will never know.

No hole is deeper than the eternal one
Which lies in front of every pair of eyes,
Upon the face that each man, woman and child seems to possess.
And the daunting leap into nothingness
Conjures only ecstacy for a troubled soul as myself.
However, born a man, I will die a man
And obide by the laws of instict
In beholding a will to live.

Though this longing I do not have
Beating through my veins,
I still contain a primative desire
Inside of my mind
To survive the pain which is welcomed
By the sheer presence of existance.

I long for the day that breathes my very end
From the lungs of the world,
And i will fall,
Gracefully,
Into the blisfull beginning.

I will lay, a solitary soul, underground,
But with a smile so proudly painted
Upon the decaying face
Of the desperate being
I once was.

Reviews

[Jenn Gold]

Wow. Deep. I like its eerieness and darkness. I love the ending phrase "but with a smile...upon the decaying face of the desperate being I once was." Very expressive. Thanks for sharing.