No Preacher of God Can Save My Soul

No Preacher of God Can Save My Soul

I shan't return to the homelands furrows,
The devil will follow me, where'er I go.
There'll come no purpose, washing me with sinners,
No preacher of god can save my soul.

Had I walked for countless miles,
Passed those ghosts with permeable smiles,
O, how nothing could change me further,
So I beg you please, forgive me father.

The blood ran cold on the homeland's clay,
The memory shalt give my trembling hands away
O, nothing could remorse me further,
Now, I beg you, forgive me father.

I shan't return to the homelands furrows,
The devil will follow me, where'er I go.
There'll come no purpose, washing me with sinners,
No preacher of god can save my soul.

Miles and hours can wear my feet,
Still my soul shall repel my sleep,
O, nothing could have parched me further,
My words run thin, forgive me father.

If I were to die before I wake,
I know my soul, The Lord shan't take.
O, no words could redeem me further,
In my abandonment, forgive me father.

I shalt not return to the homelands furrows,
The devil will follow me, where'er I go.
There'll come no purpose, washing me with sinners,
No preacher of god can save my soul.

Reviews

[Vile]

This is absolutely lovely. I really enjoyed how you managed to use that archaic language, it really set the tone for this poem. I don't think it would have turned out nearly as well if you hadn't done that. There is very definate rhythme to this that works perfectly. And flows just beautifully. Some word choice was a little cliche, however it saved it from being cliche because of how you wrote it, if that makes sense. I dont know how to express my thoughts in words sometimes haha. Wonderful poem. I only have one poem in my 'Favorites', so now I'll have two because Im adding this one. :D

[G.A. Collins]

Thank you for this review! I understand (I think) when you said about the cliqués...in fact the whole piece in itself is an over-fried pancake, if you get what I mean? I'll maybe be altering specific parts, as I feel there's potential to better the flow or wording in certain areas, but I'll get round to that when I have more time! :') n'awh, that is so touching to hear! Thank you, again! ;)

[Ankit Mahar]

Beautiful and meaningful poem. There are not many religious poems which touch the heart. But i will feel free to say that this one did it. A nice way of expressing the whole poem. Really loved it.

[Michael]

There is a great deal of pain in your poetry. The religious themes remind me of T.S. Eliot. Do you know "Ash Wednesday"? It might be worth reading.

I am wondering what is "underneath" this poem. Do you understand what I mean by that?

I also read "September 23." That just happens to be my birthday. Interesting coincidence.

Michael

[G.A. Collins]

I'm not familiar, I don't think...though it does ring a bell...I'll have a look into it. Ido understand what you mean, and by all accounts, this is written off the back of a fictional fixation - although sometimes, I feel as though anyone can relate in a vague sense.
"September 23rd" was a terrible, yet (ironically) revitalising day for me...yet it was also the birthday of my best friend at the time! It's funny, to put such ironies into perspective; one person is celebrating the anniversary of their birth, another year of life, whereas another is being mourned for the end of theirs...one of the many cruelties of living, I say.

Thank you for reading my work though, and happy birthday for September ;)