should birth control be handed out in public schoold?

this actually for my english class i want to hear your opions and spelling and grammer comments thank you.

The young girl, cradled the positive pregnancy test, with tears welling up in her

eyes.  This is becoming a common event across the country. Both sides of how to handle it from

this point on; weather abortion or adoption, wish she didn’t have to be in this spot. Teen

pregnancy is a huge Public affair, and how to handle it is very controversial. Contraceptives

being accessible at public schools are one idea; some people think that would help and another

side that says no way.

 Did you know that 3 out of every ten girls will get pregnant once by the time she is

twenty? Out of These pregnancies 19% end in abortion. That’s over 700,000 pregnancies every

year. Out of those women who become pregnant are 50% are more likely to repeat a grade and

not graduate.  Out of those same women, 2% don’t get a degree by the age of 30. Government

welfare and AFDC is used on almost 80% of these women. The future of these children is

compromised. Eight out of 10 fathers don’t stay with the children. Those children are 5 times

more likely to be poor and the daughters are 3 times more likely to repeat being a young

mother. Sons are 2 times as likely to end up in jail; while these facts are undeniable shocking,

and very informative. Only a few schools have chosen to engage to provide kids with a form of

birth control,"Stay Teen | Stay Informed." Stay Teen | Stay Informed.  Web. 19 June 2014."

New York City in 2010, Port Richmond High School has managed to drop there

pregnancy rates by 27%; that’s a whopping 189,000 less pregnancies just by adding/ expanding

their accessibility to contraceptives. A common One is condoms and a pill called plan B witch is

over the counter and highly effective if taken within 72 hours of un-protective sex . 

Many parents are shocked and stunned at the mere idea of giving kids in high school

and Jr. High condoms or any other form of birth control. Rightfully so, public schools are taxed

paid. The average family pays a minimal of 6,000 dollars a year in taxes," Pgpf.org.Web. 30 June 2014." That’s a good pocket

full of money that they may not want to be funding teens to get there birth control; they argue

that it’s their parents job to pay for it . Religious leaders of churches say that making it available

will make a dramatic increase that kids become sexually active.

            Teens are likely to think that having birth control, reduces the chance of having a STD.

 HPV and Herpes, which you can get just from sexual contact can cause cancer and blisters.  Not

to mention the side effects of pills and other forms of birth control. Such as dizziness, weight

gain, nausea, headache, mood swings, allergic reaction, and even blood clots, "Health.com. Web. 23 June 2014"

Crazy, this world is getting crazier by the year. Sex is everywhere in media and

advertising; I hope we, as a country can figure out something to do about this problem

very soon; so we have less of that poor girl crying and more healthy active teens.

Author's Note

please tell me how to make a better thesis statment and hook and bridge????!!!!!

Reviews

[Relic]

Re-wrote certain parts. Do with it what you will. :)

My best friend grasped onto the positive pregnancy test (no comma) with tears welled up in her eyes. Teen pregnancy is becoming a huge public affair and a common event in a teen’s life. (Both sides of how to handle it from this point on both wish she didn’t even have to be in this spot.) {who are the sides?}

There is a controversial idea that contraceptives being accessible at public schools would help but some don't agree. Did you know that three out of every ten girls will get pregnant one time by the age of twenty? Out of these pregnancies, 19% end in abortion. That’s over 700,000 pregnancies every year. Out of those women who become pregnant, 50% are more likely to repeat a grade and not graduate. Out of those same women, 2% don’t get a degree by the age of 30. Government welfare and AFDC is used on almost 80% of these women. The future of these children is clearly compromised. Eight out of ten new fathers don’t take responsibility for their children. Those children are 5 times more likely to be poor and the daughters are 3 times more likely to repeat being a young mother. Sons are 2 times as likely to end up in jail. These facts are undeniably shocking and very informative. Only a few schools have chosen to engage in providing kids with a form of birth control. Understandably so, the student/parent controversy is outstanding. (do you mean the student/parent relationship is important?)

New York City has managed to drop there pregnancy rates by 27%. That’s a whopping 189,000 less pregnancies just by adding/expanding their accessibility to contraceptives. A common example are condoms and a pill called plan B (which) (can be purchased) over the counter and highly effective if taken within 72 hours of un-protective sex.
Many parents are (shocked) and stunned at the mere idea of giving kids in high school and Jr. high condoms or any other form of birth control. Rightfully so, public schools are (tax) paid. The average family pays a (minimum) of 6,000 dollars a year in taxes. That’s a good pocket full of money (parents) may not want to be spending. They argue it’s their parents job to pay for it . (This sentence contradicts what you just said so I'm confused at what you mean?)

Religious leaders say that making contraceptives available to teenagers will only make a dramatic (increase in) those that become sexually active. (Research) shows that this is not actually the case. “The number of students having intercourse dropped from 75 to 66 percent, while condom use (at last intercourse?) rose from 37 to 50 percent,” says advocatesforyouth. Org.

[vaishnavi]

i do totally agree with it :)

[gabrielle]

I could see some grammar errors but the featured review has already provided helpful suggestions. I noticed that you used "un-protective", my suggestion is to change it to "unprotected". Your subject matter for your paper is relevant and informative, just make sure to cite credible sources and to give proper credits. Good luck on your paper!

[vaishnavi]

i do agree with it
but some girls cant control their feelings about love and then get pregnant actually i don't know much about it but as i saw it on some TV programs which are telecast for the betterment of society against crime there are people who abort their child for the reason that she is a girl just because they think that a boy will be the lamp light of their family and for girls they think that they will have to grow her up and then dowry and marriage so they will only have to give first give a better life to girl and dowry to other family and then their daughter for marriage so they abort the girl child
and other case is that the girls especially young ones are easy to trap as they are innocent and then they do the things which are not to be done and then.....
and the other case is that in India and most other countries there is a tradition of child marriage
girls are forced to marry with the person much more elder than that girl eg if the girl is of 15 the man will be of 50 yrs so this is the reason i think girls get pregnant in the lower age.....

btw a nice piece of writing

[Relic]

New York City has managed to drop (their) pregnancy rates by 27%. Whoops.

[dw817]

Hi BG:

* Birth Control is a very touchy subject for some. Some women believe it is their right to abort the child. Some others believe it is the baby's choice. I agree with that last option.

As for giving out birth control pills in public schools, right there it is saying it is alright to have protected sex. But as an article I wrote in recently, I don't believe there is any real protection.

You can climb in the condom for all I care, our Good Creator made that thing for making babies and by God one way or another it will make them, accidentally or otherwise.

Giving out Birth Control pills at school may curb unwanted pregnancies, but it also may discourage those who are faithful in their abstinence.
. . .
As for making your article any better. I think it was precise and succinct. No changes are needed aside from casual spelling and grammar. We all can use this from time to time though. :)

[bikergirl3636]

well i actuall been reading up and the study show that it does not incress sex just incresses the use of the birth control and the number of kids having sex actually went down. i knida think telling kids to not have sex makes them do it more especcially in the teens cause that the rebblion age. this top is really intersting i have to do a presenation on it by the end of the month.

[dw817]

Well not everyone uses a condom. I suppose if it's placed in their hands, perhaps that in itself might be a deterrent to do it at all. Likely there are many varied views on this.

Best wishes on your presentation, I think you'll do fine !

[bikergirl3636]

other ways too like plan B, and yes there is. and thank you. i think the focus need to be more on raising kids to be responable for there own actions. but thats just a cultural thing.

[A. Amos]

Reaches

shows that this is not actually the case.

I think above you mean Researches...

I truly value this powerful and meaningful write, I think this is the time people need to wake up and look around. Fathers don't stay with children, such a sad factor for a child. Just for sake of your pleasure don't bring an Innocent life in this world, who end up being alone and lost. Keep writing my friend world need more strong writers like you...Brilliant Job!

[Relic]

I'm going to read it again later. The first thing that stands out is your title. Did you mean schools? Some of your lines suffer from grammatical errors. I'll get back to you.

[bikergirl3636]

thank you well because its a paper its not actually going to have a tittle, but any grammer and spelling please let me know.

[Relic]

Okay, I will.