narritive

im wanting to do a final copy!!

     

       “Push, 1….2….3,” the doctor said in a harsh, yet calm, voice. I gave one more push, and I 

heard a tiny cry. It sounded so small and so terrified. I reached out with my arms to grasp the tiny

little bundle that was now swaddled in a blanket. I closed my eyes and sharply took in a breath of air

trying to relax my stiff legs and quiver arms, but it was a futile attempt. The shuffling of the doctor’s

light blue feet covers made me open one eye and glanced around the room and up to the celling, the

overhead bright white light made me feel like I was on an alien ship; Abducted to an unfamiliar world.

        “Want me to put her down for you?” the Doctor asked

        “yes,” I shuddered

I glanced over at my husband. He was passed out on the Hospital chair, kind of how our relationship was

in a deep slumber. Nothing had been the same since my first miscarriage. I closed my eyes again as the

doctor left. Five minutes later the sound of a little delicate cry grabbed my attention and

I pulled myself from partial sleep. I stiffly sat up and swung my bare legs out of the stiff bed and on to

the wintery cold floor. I peered over the little plastic crib on to the most beautiful tiny face that was

staring back at me with the biggest bluest eyes I have ever seen. If you could take a piece of the sky

and put it into a jar that would be as close as you could get. I delicately pulled her to my chest and

climbed back in to bed. I had this felt this weird feeling of not really knowing or understanding what I

was supposed to do with this tiny baby, but my body moved subconsciously. I began rubbing her

face till her blue eyes closed. I had no idea how things at home and my relationship with my husband

would change for better and for worse. An overwhelming sleep took over.

                A few months had passed and still that feeling of not knowing what to do, but just doing had

become a normal part of me fitting into the category of “Mom.” I knew that my outside relationships

with my husband were falling, yet I couldn’t find the strength to care. I was too tired, too worn out to

care. Some nights I would go into the nursery and just sleep on an air mattress just to be with my

daughter, who I named Lilly. I knew that my attachment to my daughter was somewhat due to the

miscarriage I had suffered before. Lilly and I did everything together. I rollerbladed to get back in shape

and take her with me in her stroller.  Finally I was getting the hang of a normal life with my daughter but

oh lord help the poor soul  who would try to take us apart. Even something as little as feeding, I wanted

to do it!

 

         By the time she turned 2, I was getting divorced. I decided I wanted to try and give Lilly some

distance from me. Not only that, but I had to because I was no longer going to be with her 24/7.

According to the court papers she would have to spend nights away from me. I was going to have to get

a full time job to support us. Not too long after that, one job turned into two jobs. I tried to see her

more but I felt so distant from her like I was drifting away, reaching and grabbing for her but she was just

out of reach. The only time I saw her was at night, but I was so tired I couldn’t be there for her like I

wanted to be. I missed my little Lilly bug I had to find a way of this madness, after all what’s money

worth if you can’t see who you love? Quitting my jobs was the only way I could be there for her. I

never wanted to be a day care mom, dropping her kids off like a piece luggage dropped for convenience.

 The option to go back to school came up. I grabbed it and hung on tighter than the Pope holds on to a

Bible.  My daughter is almost three now. I know that whatever the future holds, I will always find a

way to be there for her. We will always be close in the same way we were when she was born.

Author's Note

please help me with spelling and grammer!!! sorry for the spacing i copy and pasted it from a double space program!!

Reviews

[vaishnavi]

first of all belated congrats you became a mom and other thing i like is that u care so much for your baby
if u want to spend time with baby in morning then you should find a night duty for earnings
it is a pleasure to read this
i liked it lot and if you can pls upload the pics of lily i want to see the baby doll with blue eyes :)

[Justin]

that was really awesome, i can picture everything inside of my head
i have one suggestion you tell go into detail about what the girl and her husband were fighting about :) other then that it is really awesome