SOME WEIRD STORY ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING

In a weird community. . . is a little weird story!

Scene 1:

The barkadas went to school together since they were classmates.

        David is not with them. Well, as usual, he’s always absent especially if the class is all about nature.

         When they’re in their classroom…

Teacher:           Good morning, class.

Students:          Magandang umaga po, Binibining Teacher Tita Jollibee.

Teacher:           Sing my theme…

Students:          Sa Jollibee, Biga ang saya…

Teacher:           Maupo.

Students:          Thank you, mam.

Teacher:           Are you ok?

Students:          Opo, mam.

Teacher:           Ano ang kinain niyo sa breakfast?

Students:          Food mam, food. Lasagna and Milo with essence of tubol.

Teacher:           Very good! Nutritious Delicious and Septicious foods!!!  While my breakfast is fish fillet de el nino and kare-kare with bagoong exclusive from Jollibee.

Students:          Wow, anong lasa?

Teacher:           Parang septic formula with canal syrup.

                        Anyway, our class for today is our lesson yesterday. Now, who can recall?

May-an:            Human Sexuality!

Abigail:             Reproductive system!

Teacher:           Hanep! Pang grade five na mga klase. Saan nga pala si David?

Marisol:             Mam, nasa bar niya po, walang may magbabantay eh.

Scene 2:

(DISCUSSION OF GLOBAL WARMING)

            Activity time…

Teacher:           Class, this morning we’re going to have our group presentation regarding global warming.

Abigail:             Mam, my group will do sayawit regarding global warming.

Khey:                I’m going with you, Abby.

May-an:            No, no, no, Khey. You go with the boys.
Abigail:             Hmmm, May-an I think mas maganda kung kantahin natin ang Mother Nature Needs Us.

May-an:            Eow, ano ba yan? Masyadong environmental. Yung iba naman, yung rock! Mag compose tayo ng song na “perfume from wilted flowers” para bongga!

Marisol:             Oo nga, kami nlng din ang bahala sa lyrics.makisakay ka na lang.

Abigail:             No. Perfumes are not beneficial to our environment, nakakasama pa nga eh.

Marisol:             But…

Abigail:             No more buts and etc. Let’s go, mag practice na tayo…

            Meanwhile…

Christian D:       The easiest way to define global warming is in the form of interview.

Darwin:             Well… so this will be our presentation. Ikaw ang maging interviewer, interviewees lang kami.

Khey:                Hmmm…

Danilo:              Ok, practice na tayo.

            After their practice…

Teacher:           Ok class, it’s presentation time!

            The sayawit group sang the song “Mother Nature Needs Us” while dancing.

            The interview group…

Christian D:       Good morning to our guests this morning. Our topic for today is all about global warming… First, who can define what global warming is?

Khey:                Global Warming is an abnormal condition that our planet is currently experiencing due to the abusive human activities that we humans do.

Christian D:       Stop, baka wala na akong ma question mamaya… Well, what kind of human activities are we humans doing that contribute to global warming?

Darwin:             As far as I know, burning of plastics, usage of dynamite or cyanide in fishing, smoking, and deforestation are some of the causes that contribute to global warming.

Christian D:       Teka lang, baka may tamaan dito… ok, back to the scene… what harmful consequences could global warming do on us?

Danilo:              Ummm, ang masyadong kainitan ay makakadulot ng labis na pagtunaw ng mga yelo sa mga polar regions that caused the raising of the sea level.

Khey:                Kaya pala minsan, binabaha tayo…

Darwin:             Well, ayaw mo noon? Libre na ang swimming, sa bakuran mo pa; free service, di ba?

Christian D:       Ahem… ok, what can we do to prevent global warming?

Danilo:              One way can help a lot, and this way is to plant more trees in our forests.

Khey:                And propagate flowers!

Darwin:             And in our simple ways, we can also help too, like gardening in our houses.

Christian D:       Very good answers… Now, this just proves that we can’t just contribute to global warming, we can also contribute to its prevention.

            Their teacher stood in front of them…

Teacher:           A very nice presentation, everyone. But there has to be a winner among you, group presenters.

Alvin:                Excuse me, mam. Hindi pa po ako nakapagperform…

Teacher:           Che! Mag reporting ka na lang next time.

Alvin:                Mam Jollibee naman…

Teacher:           Ok, since there were no winners, I am the winner!

            The class applauded…

Teacher:           Hindi kayo nakapasa sa aking standards…

Students: WTF?!!!

-

Scenes 3-8:

            After the class, the barkadas went to their homes…

            And as usual, they are doing their daily vices…

            Christian Dave and Darwin are burning plastics.

May-an and Marisol are overusing perfumes because of their dissatisfaction of fragrance around them.

Danilo was also overusing his gel just to fix his hair.

And Alvin was smoking around.

Luckily, Khey and Abigail, who are the environmentalists, get to tend their school’s garden and water the plants around their area.

-

Scene 9:

            Meanwhile, David was preparing himself for his pole dancing in his gay bar. He sprayed the perfume throughout his body just to make sure he’d be the best prostitute of the day. Next, a small plastic stuck in his feet. Well, he hates to see plastic. So, he got his lighter and burned it right in front of him. Next, he applied too much lotion on his skin that he’s so fragrant that even roses would wilt upon catching a scent. Then, a leaflet fell from the plant he had in his room. He doesn’t like to see a plant with a missing leaf so he killed the plant by cutting it and threw it.

            Lastly, he holding a cigarette smokes around socially as he exits his room and enters the “entablado” of his gay bar. But as he exited, there was only one customer; May-an and Marisol’s father, Clifford. But he didn’t know that he was May-an and Marisol’s father.

David:               Hey you. Would you like to have a drink with me? (Raised a bottle of alcoholic drink)
Clifford:             (Gets his beer) sure, why not?

David:               Cheers?

            Together they cheered, and later they kept on smoking…

Scene 10:

            On the other hand, the rest of the barkadas kept on abusing nature except for Abigail and Khey.

Abigail:             Ano ba yan, stop messing around, everyone.

Khey:                Oo nga, hindi niyo ba alam na dumadagdag kayo sa global warming?

May-an:            And so, we don’t care!

Marisol:             Yeah and why should we? In fact, hindi naman kayo naaapektuhan eh, diba?

            Later, it rained so hard…

May-an:            Excuse me, tama na ang drama. Let’s get inside ng makasilong tayo, guys!

Scene 11:

            They all went inside, but the rain kept on falling and falling that later, water started to enter their room.

Marisol:             Oh, my! Ano’ng gagawin natin? Baka mamaya umabot hanggang balakang yung tubig dito.

Abigail:             Yan kasi and sinasabi namin ni Khey…

Khey:                Oo nga, na tigilan niyo na ang pang-aabuso sa kalikasan. Look at the consequences, konting baha pa lang nga natatakot na kayo. Ano pa kaya kung matunaw na yung mga yelo?

Abigail:             Oo nga, siguradong pagsisisihan niyo na talaga ang pang-aabuso niyo sa kalikasan.

May-an:            Well, sorry na. Mali na kami, ano pa ang kailangan naming gawin?

Khey:                Magbago na kayo, iwasan niyo ang sobrang paggamit ng perfume…

May-an:            Well, hindi naman namin siguro kaya yon.

Abigail:             And well, baka maligo ka na sa mabahong perfume pag sobra-sobra pa rin ang paggamit mo niyan.

May-an:            Ay, hindi. So, pwede bang kahit konti lang na perfume?

Abigail:             Ikaw na bahala diyan. At saka boys, iwasan na din ang pagsusunog ng plastic, overuse ng gel at ang paninigarilyo, lalo na ikaw, Alvin.

Khey:                At sana practice gardening like us, para maiwasan natin ang iba pang maidudulot ng global warming. Kuha niyo?

            Later, the rain stopped and the water gradually dried up.

Darwin:             Puntahan kaya natin si David? Baka mas malala pa ang pinanggagawa nun…

Danilo:              Oo, nga.

Alvin:                Hindi lamang kalikasan inaabuso niya sa malaswang paraan. Ang kanya ding katawan!

Christian D:       Bilis, pumunta na tayo sa kanyang gay bar…

            The barkadas went together to David’s gay bar…

Scene 12:

            Meanwhile… Clifford and David were both drunk now…

David:               Look at yourself, lasing kana.

Clifford:             Hindi ako lasing!

David:               Aminin mo na kasi, you’re drunk. Mukha mo palang klarong-klaro na ang pagkalasing mo.

Clifford:             Gusto mo bang patunayan ko na hindi ako lasing?

David:               Hmmm, why don’t we… have fun, nang malaman natin… (started caressing Clifford)

Scene 13:

            Later, the barkadas arrived that interrupted their passionate interaction.

May-an:            David! Tatay ko yan!

David:               Aw, sus ah… daddy mo pala, customer ko kasi dito eh…

Marisol:             Lasing si tatay May-an!

May-an:            Si David nga eh, parang lasing din…

David:               Ooooh, hindi ako lasing, isang tasa lang natake ko no... (Smokes again)

Abigail:             David, wala pa rin bang may nangyayari sa’yo na sana matauhan ka na?

David:               Matauhan na ano? Huh?

May-an:            Sana matauhan ka na na nakakasira na ng maraming buhay ang pinanggagawa mo…

David:               Uhmm, bakit? Ano ba ang pinanggagawa kong hindi maganda, huh?

Marisol:             Yung paninigarilyo mo, yung over usage of perfume, pagsusunog ng plastic at iba pa!

David:               Bakit, anong deperensya doon?

May-an:            Hindi lang kalikasan ang naaabuso mo, pati iyong katawan!

David:               Hey, you there… baka nakakalimutan mo, ako lang ang bumubuhay sa sarili ko, at itong gawain lang ang kinabubuhay ko…wala din akong paki-alam kung naaapektuhan ang kalikasan dahil para din yon sa kapakanan ko, at kasiyahan ng ibang tao… kita niyo, pag may pumapasok dito sa bar ko, paglabas nila’y may ngiti sa kanilang mga mukha…

May-an:            Pero illegal yan! Prosti lang kasi ang alam kong gumagawa ng mga yan!

David:               Hindi yan totoo!

May-an:            Totoo ang sinasabi ko!

            David attacked May-an to the ground and their other friends helped them get through it.

David:               Hayop kang maharot ka! Wala kang karapatan na pagsabihan ako niyan!

May-an:            Eh, talaga naman eh... bakit di mo baguhin ang lifestyle mo?

David:               Lifestyle-lifestyle ka diyan baka gusto mong ilublob kita sa istilo ng pamumuhay mo!

May-an:            David, hindi na tayo dapat umabot sa ganito… ang nais ko naman lang sanang sabihin ay baguhin mo ang pamumuhay mo. Para ito sa kapakanan mo " nating lahat! Ayaw mo ba ng masaya? Huh?

            David went wild throughout his gay bar…

Scene 14-15:

            A few months later…

            The rest of the barkadas except David went creating posters and slogans regarding global warming.

            Also, they are helping each other as they tend the garden which Abigail and Khey cared for.

May-an:            (sighs) that’s enough for a day’s work…

Scene 16:

            Meanwhile…

-SURPRISE NUMBER-

Guess what happened to the gay prostitute?

-THE END-

Author's Note

Just a stage play two years ago. Well, am still the scriptwriter. Hope you enjoyed reading!