Chapter One: Guten Morgen

Chapter One: Guten Morgen

A Chapter by Geekasauruz

Aidenschlaft - Germany

1600 AD

The book was bound in velvet leather, dry with age and covered in a thin layer of dust. The pages within were brittle to the touch and the book's original stitching was barely holding together. Not many people could appreciate the beauty of an old book but Isabella found them fascinating. They had been passed down through generations, and thinking about who else had once held that same book in their hands enticed her imagination. Eyes the color of cinnamon scanned the page, halting on a particular sentence before the text was placed down beside her. Without the thick cover obscuring her view, fine wisps of smoke could be seen swirling around the room. The haze was completely opaque as it rose from the pot atop the table, but as it branched out the grey vapor would disappear altogether. Isabella's small hand reached to her right side, fingers passing over an array of different ingredients before pausing on something undoubtedly rough.

"The bark... Why must I always forget the bark?" She whispered to herself, throwing the powdered sheath of an ancient willow into the pot. Though the brew should have smelt of coconut and pine, the liquid bubbled with the revolting stench of rotten fish. The scent lingered throughout the room, imbuing itself into the furniture. However, Isabella didn't seem to notice. Down the hall a rhythmic clicking sound could be heard, accompanied swiftly by the creaking of an old wooden floor. As soon as the door was swung open, a loud heave escaped the figure in its frame. Emilia stepped into the room, right hand covering both her nose and mouth. Even with half of her face hidden her disgust was obvious.

"What is that smell...?" She gagged, grey eyes scanning the room for the cause of such an odour.

"What do you mean?" Isabella asked.

"You can't smell that? How could you not-" Emilia paused mid-sentence when her gaze landed on the pot. She sauntered over, face almost turning green when she sniffed the potion. "What in the name of God did you put in it this time?"

Isabella rubbed her arm anxiously. "J-Just what the book told me to..." She motioned to the text sitting beside her. "A few slivers of dead poison ivy, two freshly picked four-leafed clovers, the bark of an old willow tree, pickled porcupine quills..."

"Pickled porcupine quills only if you're adding the willow bark first." Emilia corrected, nose scrunching in revulsion as she picked up the pot and drained it out the open window. "It's just as well you're not brewing fathers medicine... you'd make him even sicker."

Isabella huffed but didn't bother to argue with fact. It was their mother that had been the talented mystic, not them. She managed to teach Emilia a decent amount before she was killed, but all knowledge that the younger sibling received was second-hand. Either she had absolutely no talent in the magical arts or her sister was just a lousy teacher, Isabella was inclined to believe the latter but even that seemed untrue.

"I'll wash this out... again." Emilia said in a nasally voice that made it apparent that she was avoiding breathing out of her nose. "As long as you go into town and get us some more Sideritis extract, I'll do my best to forget this incredible new smell you've discovered. I want to make enough of father's medicine to last the year."

"How many vials are left?"

Emilia paused a moment, eyes flicking upward as if it would help her mind add it up quicker. "Enough to maintain him for at least six months, but we need to prepare for the seasons in which those ingredients don't grow. It's best to be safe."

"Alright, I'll leave now then." Isabella picked up her book, looking back to her sister only to see Emilia shuffling out of the room with the pot at arm's length.

Before she could make it back into the hall she whipped around with a wide eyed glare. "Make sure you get the right ingredient this time, we'd be able to open up a shop of our own with all the wrong herbs you've brought."

"Excuse me." Isabella started as she crossed her arms. "I just happened to learn how to make a voice-siphoning draught yesterday. You'd be a great person to try it on, wouldn't you agree?"
Emilia raised her eyebrows and plastered a thin smile onto her face. "Mmm, you'd probably end up making me louder, you're that useless."

With a sigh, Isabella rolled her eyes and replied "Hey weren't you doing something? Go on, get out!" She shooed her older sister out of the room with a playful grin.

Once the sisterly banter was over and Emilia was out of sight, Isabella slid the potions book back onto the shelf to pick up another. 'Titus Andronicus' by William Shakespeare, only recently translated into German. Her nose was buried within its thick pages as she exited the house, the Roman based play sending visuals through her mind as if she were watching it on stage.

The village was small, but by no means quiet. The townsfolk spoke in loud, booming voices that did nothing to hide any secrets they were to share. Isabella passed by the grocer with his table full of fresh fruits and vegetables, and the butcher that displayed bloody lumps of meat that were being bombarded by the evening's flies; after so many days of heavy drizzle there were more than usual. The further she walked, the clearer the conversations. Talk of the day's weather and friendly banter filled her ears until a loud neighing pierced over all of them. Most watched as the village priest returned but Isabella paid no interest to it. In her mind, the man was cruel, unjust and not worth a second of her time. Something else did catch her attention though, a voice that rivalled even the noisiest of villagers.

"What kinda Beast...?"

"I-I...I don't know. It was gigantic, it was! Like a wolf...but more like a bear really. Taller than three men standing on each other's shoulders! Moved faster than a steed scorned! A-And the bodies... God, the bodies..." Farmer Ivan shrilly recounted to Gustav, who sat at a grindstone sharpening his blade. Gustav was a thick, burly and powerful man. His face was covered by an immense red beard, and the hair on his head was an identical shade of fiery crimson.

With an amused huff, the large man shook his head. "It takes time...and money...to track and hunt these animals. I can't waste mine chasing a..."

Gustav's husky voice slowed to a halt as he spied Isabella on her own. She tried to hide her face behind her hefty book, but it was a fruitless gesture. Voice trailing off, Gustav stood, rose a hand to Ivan telling him to wait, then made his way across the main square to Isabella's path, freshly sharpened sword in hand. "Mornin' Bell." He greeted the girl, heaving the sword onto his shoulder.

"What was Ivan talking to you about, Gustav?" Isabella deflected.

Gustav shook his head with a smirk. "Ah, nothin' worth worryin' your pretty head over. Thinks he saw some kinda monster in the woods. If you ask me, that boy needs to grow a spine before I can believe any word of his." Gustav then leaned onto a nearby post, flashing a toothy grin at the appalled Isabella. "So...where are you headin' this fine day...?"

"To the apothecary." She answered, fiddling with the book.

Gustav noticed the text and stared at it like a monkey peering at a shiny locket. "Now why is a girl like you botherin' with rubbish like that...?" He spat. "You could be doin' much more useful things in your spare time. You could have any man in this village if you wanted him..." His voice quietened at the last sentence, running his free hand through the unruly orange curls on his head.

Isabella rolled her eyes. "Quite... Well, If you don't mind Gustav, I'll see you later." She smiled, patted Gustav's shoulder gently and took off. He stood there in the middle of the village, baffled, for quite some time before the farmer Ivan came wandering back over to him with more wild imaginings.

When Isabella reached her destination, she tucked the book into her satchel and looked to the old shopkeeper. His green eyes appeared much rounder behind his spectacles, grey hair sticking up on end. "Ah, Bell. What can I do for you today?"

"Mr. Busch!" She replied cheerfully, eyes investigating the various herbs within shop. "I need some Sideritis extract; Emilia used the last of it in her tea this morning." She lied, but she did it well. Even the slightest suspicions of 'witchcraft' meant being 'cleansed'... or as Isabella liked to call it, being burnt at the stake. So, fibbing became a talent. Even making medicine too often would cause skepticism.

"I'm afraid we've run out, my dear." Busch said regretfully. "The Sideritis grows deep in the woods...far too dangerous for an old fellow like myself." Busch chuckled awkwardly. "I asked young Ivan yesterday to pluck a few for me on the way to town this morning, but he seemed to have forgotten...he came spitting out old wives tales instead."

"Yes, I heard him telling Gustav. He sounded pretty shaken." Bell tucked a stray strand of hair, that had escaped the tight bun, behind her ear. "I wonder what could have gotten him so frightened...certainly what he was speaking of doesn't really exist..."

"Absolutely preposterous. I have traveled a fair share of Europe...never have I ever seen one of Ivan's 'Beasts'. He is a creative one." The shopkeeper shook his head with a chuckle. "I wouldn't worry. There are wolves and whatnot in the woods...but not a giant Beast. Never."
Isabella nodded, deciding that the young farmer was most likely hungover from the night at the pub and simply saw a bear. "I could go out to gather it myself, maybe take some extra for the store." 

The man's eyes widened. "Bell dear, absolutely not. A lady mustn't on her own...no Beasts, no, but more Earthly creatures lurk within those woods."

Bell shrugged at the shopkeeper, drifting over to the door and pushing it open. "I'll be in and out before dark Mister Busch. You can send Gustav out after me if it gets too late." She hoped that the lovely old man wouldn't resort to torturing her in that way though.

After her admittedly brief venture into town, Bell returned to the small house that sat on an incline near the woods. As if instinctively, she turned left into her fathers room. The old man had a fringe of white hair around his balding, mottled scalp and a patchy beard. His wizened face looked weakly at Bell as she moved to stand beside his bed. Her father shifted and with each movement there was the creak of old bones.

"How are you feeling today?" Bell whispered, a pale hand resting gently on his forehead. His temperature was normal, for now at least. 

Her father had the resigned look of a man that had accepted his fate; age had stopped giving and started taking away. Still, his daughters tried to keep his body awake but the potions effects were weakening by the year. The old man wet his cracked lips, opening his mouth to try and force out a few words. A crackling sound escaped his dry throat, but that was all he could manage. 

Bell's mouth twitched into a sad smile, hand reaching down to hold tightly onto his. "I'm sure the medicine will start working again soon... we just need to find fresher ingredients." Her father's large fingers gently squeezed her hand before going limp again. At the sinking feeling in her stomach, Bell thought to at least give her father some fresh air before she left. Isabella took several strides towards the paneled glass window, unfastening the lock and swinging them open. From here she could see her sister kneeling by the creek, viciously scrubbing the pot she had previously taken. "I'm going to take a little walk out of town for a bit; I'll be back home before too long, don't you worry." She told her father quietly.

Isabella had a lingering urge to tell her sister where she was going, but figured that she wouldn't be gone long enough for it to matter. Kissing her father on the cheek, she placed her book on his chest encase he became bored during her absence. Satisfied that her father would be comfortable until her return, she eagerly paced out of the house. 

When Bell had started on the rutted path, carefully avoiding the droves of fallen branches, the light had faded so little that she hadn't even noticed. The tall trees seemed perfectly aligned for the last shrinking rays of the sun to reach her. However, the further she walked, the darker it became. Her eyes adjusted slowly to the approaching gloom and it wasn't until she had wandered too deep that she realized the sun wasn't penetrating the leaves like it had before. Everything was hues darker than it should have been. It could be no blacker six feet under, in a coffin and buried in the dirt. She began to breathe the cold night air more rapidly now, willing her heart beat to slow and body to stop its shivering. She was too far in to turn back, despite feeling robbed of all her senses. Bare, twisted branches spiked into the sky, and the ground below her feet crunched with every step. There were no visual signs of life to be found anywhere, but there were sounds; shrill howls that echoed through the forests shrub. Isabella jumped at every wail, walking as if the forest floor would collapse under her tiny body mass. Every step so light that there was no noise to match the wolf's cries.

In the blinding darkness Bell rummaged shaking hands through her satchel, pulling out a wax candle, a small bit of flint, and a thin slab of steel. The candle was swiftly held between trembling knees, hands working fast to catch a fire by striking the steel with flint. Once, and the spark was too faint. Twice, and it didn't flicker at all. On her third try she had dropped the flint from quivering hands, but on her fourth the candle finally burned with a dull fire. Her tools were shoved back into the bag, then finally she stretched the candle out in front of her. It didn't provide much, but it at least revealed a small section of the ground. Bell inhaled deeply, calming herself before narrowed eyes looked at anything they could. She was starting to think it best if she just ran back home, that is until she spotted a genus of flowering plants not two feet away. The tension that had built up around her lungs and threatened to suffocate her faded away. The sigh of relief she gave almost quirked into a smile as she hurried toward the herb. Carefully leaning the dwindling candle against the closest tree, she begun to pluck the thornless plants from their bedding.

The crack of a twig punctured the air, pulsing adrenaline through Bell's veins as she whipped her head around. Nothing. It felt as if an invisible hand was covering her mouth, because she was finding it increasingly hard to breathe; an equally ghostly sting of dread piercing her heart. She was sure she had heard something... yet now the woods were so silent that even the animals didn't make a sound. Shadows had nothing to grasp onto in that pitch black, but she suddenly felt like something was watching her regardless. When Isabella turned, she did so to something so horrifying that her mind didn't have time to register her initial terror. In the layers of black, glared two pale eyes, unblinking and steady. She began to tremble...overwhelmed by fear. The pair of eyes moved, and the figure it belonged to brushed past the layers of foliage, peeling away at the blackness surrounding it. Into the light emerged a huge, grotesque creature with matted fur and huge twisting horns protruding into the midnight sky. Its contorted form eclipsed the rising moon, standing on giant haunches and stooping it's wrinkled, growling snout forward. The creature bore its jagged fangs as it snarled, slowly walking circles around the helpless girl. It's eyes reflected the candle light, glowing like two full moons in the dark. Completely paralyzed in shock and fear, Bell was forced to stare into the glowing blue eyes of the creature. A demon on Earth. Satan reincarnated. Surely, no magic could create such a hideous monster, such a...beast. A scream tore through Isabella's throat like a great shard of glass, and with this cry of fright came a roar like a dozen wolves bred into one.  



© 2016 Geekasauruz


My Review

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Featured Review

holy hell that got intense at the end.

happy to see your working on this at a brisk pace. I used to able to clear 4k in a night, but now I self edit so much that's more like 500 words to 1k.

Bells life is how I imagined it, but with embellishments and differences that make it stand out. Her whole family dynamic points to someone caring and compassionate.

your dialogue is really, REALLY good. however your tags and modifiers before and after still need some work. A published lady friend of mine taught me that 'he/she said' is usually the rule of thumb for all tags, using words like 'he smiled' and 'she shrieked' should only really be used once in a while for occasions that are either important to the plot or vital for conveying a specific emotion, usually that changes the situation or character personally. 'I used to have this exact same issue'

A lot of the time, you use the characters name or add a tag when the flow of the conversation allows the reader to know who is talking, this can put off casual readers as the exchange has little bumps of repetition that can pull folks out of the story.

for example.

' "Excuse me." Isabella started as she crossed her arms. "I just happened to learn how to make a voice-siphoning draught yesterday. You'd be a great person to try it on, wouldn't you agree?"

Emilia raised her eyebrows and plastered a thin smile onto her face. "Mmm, you'd probably end up making me louder, you're that useless."

With a sigh, Isabella rolled her eyes and replied "Hey weren't you doing something? Go on, get out!" She shooed her older sister out of the room with a playful grin.'

I'll try to show you through a couple of extracts from this.

"Excuse me." Isabella started as she crossed her arms.
This is a little busy when a simple tag and action can be substituted with a comma.
such as "Excuse me?" said Isabella, arms folded in a huff. IT may not be an amazing redraft, but you get what I mean.

'With a sigh, Isabella rolled her eyes and replied'
this isn't really needed, her words after convey the emotion of the modifier and the tag in regards to the reply that only involves two people so we know who is talking. I recommend moving the sigh to the action afterwards if you wish to keep it.

I enjoyed the ending. but I still believe you should focus more on Bell's actual feelings and experience of the matter. this medium is a sensory one, and while I think you truly know this, but the style is still a little tell rather than show.

for example.

Bell inhaled deeply, calming herself before narrowed eyes looked at anything they could.

this particular line could be very sensory, it's these moments your reader will be able to engage their own sense memory. Again this edit will be clunky, but I want to convey the difference between show and don't tell.

'Fingers of frost crawled up each nostril to grip Bell's lungs in a panicked embrace. Each gasp wheezed slower, unsteady calm took over, her vision blurred by a dark wind.' Again, a little bulky. but you get what I mean. you need to try and make the reader feel your main character by forcing them to relive something they identify with.

Not all the time obviously, but moments like that definitely require it in order to put yourself in Bell's brain.

on a level of editing. I believe you suffer from the same affliction that I once heard Neil Gainman talk about. He too suffers from it and its easy to get past, 'I myself had and still occasionally get this problem. You go into description of particular aspects a little too much. A little self editing and rep-conning to take out unnecessary descriptions and actions will make the readability much more accessible to your casuals.

its just a simple of matter of asking, 'do I need this and/or is it essential to the plot' again, description is fine but I feel it was a little heavy on the adjectives. The only person who really got away with that, at least to my memory is Stieg Larsson who wrote 'girl with the dragon tattoo', a wired fact is that the original title was 'Men who hate woman'

of course all these problems are academic, your passion and idea of the story is really solid, I still enjoyed the read and all my points, as always, are based on advice given to me from other folks on this site, stuff I wish folks told me years ago.

This has real potential in my opinion. keep polishing it up and writing more and I will do my best to keep track and deliver my honest opinion.

Sorry for the long review but I try my best to never give a token review to folks.

P.S No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston



Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Geekasauruz

8 Years Ago

P.S As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!
M.R Steiner

8 Years Ago

No one's vain like Gaston, causes pain like Gaston, no one falls to his death in the rain like Gasto.. read more
Geekasauruz

8 Years Ago

Oh my god XD Perfection



Reviews

holy hell that got intense at the end.

happy to see your working on this at a brisk pace. I used to able to clear 4k in a night, but now I self edit so much that's more like 500 words to 1k.

Bells life is how I imagined it, but with embellishments and differences that make it stand out. Her whole family dynamic points to someone caring and compassionate.

your dialogue is really, REALLY good. however your tags and modifiers before and after still need some work. A published lady friend of mine taught me that 'he/she said' is usually the rule of thumb for all tags, using words like 'he smiled' and 'she shrieked' should only really be used once in a while for occasions that are either important to the plot or vital for conveying a specific emotion, usually that changes the situation or character personally. 'I used to have this exact same issue'

A lot of the time, you use the characters name or add a tag when the flow of the conversation allows the reader to know who is talking, this can put off casual readers as the exchange has little bumps of repetition that can pull folks out of the story.

for example.

' "Excuse me." Isabella started as she crossed her arms. "I just happened to learn how to make a voice-siphoning draught yesterday. You'd be a great person to try it on, wouldn't you agree?"

Emilia raised her eyebrows and plastered a thin smile onto her face. "Mmm, you'd probably end up making me louder, you're that useless."

With a sigh, Isabella rolled her eyes and replied "Hey weren't you doing something? Go on, get out!" She shooed her older sister out of the room with a playful grin.'

I'll try to show you through a couple of extracts from this.

"Excuse me." Isabella started as she crossed her arms.
This is a little busy when a simple tag and action can be substituted with a comma.
such as "Excuse me?" said Isabella, arms folded in a huff. IT may not be an amazing redraft, but you get what I mean.

'With a sigh, Isabella rolled her eyes and replied'
this isn't really needed, her words after convey the emotion of the modifier and the tag in regards to the reply that only involves two people so we know who is talking. I recommend moving the sigh to the action afterwards if you wish to keep it.

I enjoyed the ending. but I still believe you should focus more on Bell's actual feelings and experience of the matter. this medium is a sensory one, and while I think you truly know this, but the style is still a little tell rather than show.

for example.

Bell inhaled deeply, calming herself before narrowed eyes looked at anything they could.

this particular line could be very sensory, it's these moments your reader will be able to engage their own sense memory. Again this edit will be clunky, but I want to convey the difference between show and don't tell.

'Fingers of frost crawled up each nostril to grip Bell's lungs in a panicked embrace. Each gasp wheezed slower, unsteady calm took over, her vision blurred by a dark wind.' Again, a little bulky. but you get what I mean. you need to try and make the reader feel your main character by forcing them to relive something they identify with.

Not all the time obviously, but moments like that definitely require it in order to put yourself in Bell's brain.

on a level of editing. I believe you suffer from the same affliction that I once heard Neil Gainman talk about. He too suffers from it and its easy to get past, 'I myself had and still occasionally get this problem. You go into description of particular aspects a little too much. A little self editing and rep-conning to take out unnecessary descriptions and actions will make the readability much more accessible to your casuals.

its just a simple of matter of asking, 'do I need this and/or is it essential to the plot' again, description is fine but I feel it was a little heavy on the adjectives. The only person who really got away with that, at least to my memory is Stieg Larsson who wrote 'girl with the dragon tattoo', a wired fact is that the original title was 'Men who hate woman'

of course all these problems are academic, your passion and idea of the story is really solid, I still enjoyed the read and all my points, as always, are based on advice given to me from other folks on this site, stuff I wish folks told me years ago.

This has real potential in my opinion. keep polishing it up and writing more and I will do my best to keep track and deliver my honest opinion.

Sorry for the long review but I try my best to never give a token review to folks.

P.S No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston



Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Geekasauruz

8 Years Ago

P.S As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!
M.R Steiner

8 Years Ago

No one's vain like Gaston, causes pain like Gaston, no one falls to his death in the rain like Gasto.. read more
Geekasauruz

8 Years Ago

Oh my god XD Perfection

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Added on November 15, 2016
Last Updated on November 15, 2016
Tags: Beauty and the beast, the beast, romance, fantasy, dark, historical, beauty, love


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Geekasauruz
Geekasauruz

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A Chapter by Geekasauruz