I wonder...

Drove past the care home where mum spent her last few years on this planet

I wonder how many of them, her friends, are still living
and who now inhabits her apartment,
and I wonder if that inhabitant too has a son who visits
to natter, clean the fridge, date check the food
and make tea whilst listening to oft' repeated words.
I also wonder if each time goodbyes are said
whether he thinks this may well be the last goodbye,
his last living memory of the one constant in his life
as death a more than regular visitor to God's waiting room,
calling without invitation to collect the last breath of all that live there.
And when that time comes, as it surely will,
I wonder if that son will be ready, prepared
for the heartbreak, the devastation and subsequent loneliness
that takes hold when hearing that news, those words.
I wonder because I wasn't, and near 5 years on
there is still an emptiness that memories cannot fill.

Reviews

[Relic]

For those of us who have lost a parent, this is totally relatable. The cycle of life often goes on not just for us, but for those that will follow.

[Soren]

Loss can be a very difficult thing to deal with. This poem carries with it a feeling of age and loss. Well worded with images that evoke such feelings it speaks to the heart and asks a question that all of us must answer sooner or latter.

[Beren Ongur]

ma'm, I loved this poem, it is understandable and definitely very deep. After I lost my father at a very young age, I always thought about this, I wondered if he had friends, or what they talked about, what they thought, what they liked... I wanted to ask. Since I was a child of a divorced family, I couldn't communicate very deeply when he was alive and first of all, I was young... sometimes thinking about how lonely he must have been darkens my soul. and no, no one is ready for death. even if you wait, even if everyone knows that death is coming.

"more than regular visitor to God's waiting room"
a perfect and intelligent quote, very powerful.
I read it over and over again and I loved your poem. You definitely have a lot to say

[Gee]

Thank you kindly for your kind words :)
I am actually the ugly mug male in the avatar, the two ladies being my wife and daughter.

[Beren Ongur]

oh i am so sorry! thank you for letting me know!

[Light and ashes]

I think, often times,
most often,

Death comes in as a stranger,
but leaves, a friend.

Maybe, that is something to take comfort in..

[Dylan Macadham]

It's like you wrote this about my Mother and me, and Dad.
... You've written it for thousands, millions I guess. Beautifully! :)

[Gee]

Thanks Dylan, appreciate you dropping in

[Chris Shaw]

It’s a week off three years since my own mum died in a nursing home. I often have thoughts about her empty room, probably occupied again soon after her departing. I miss her so much Gee but I am not sorry that she isn’t still in that room two hundred miles away. She spent six years there in her state of decline. That was a killer for all of us. She’s free. Your words touched me. I don’t wonder about friends made there. She didn’t make any. Would not leave her room. It became a prison. We will always miss our mums. A heartache we learn to live with.

Chris

[Gee]

I'm told it is a different kind of mourning that of a mum.
Never really knew my dad so will never know:))
Thanks Christine

[Lorry]

Well up until I read this Gee I thought it was only me that checked best before dates and cleaned the fridge for my wee mammy, because she forgot best before dates existed, as she told me one more time about when my Dad told her about when he was in hospital and tried cornflakes for the first time at the age of 66!
When asked if he liked them he replied "They were okay, but I didn't like that semi skilled milk they gave me them in!"
Evert time I saw that green lid in the milk aisle I'd laugh, but they've even done away with them too because clear lids are easier to recycle!
If she had her own way, I'd just fill the fridge with Kinder Bueno bars, just to be safe, because they never lasted long enough to go out of date!
One thing though that hasn't got a best before date is mourning though. That s**t never goes off!

[Gee]

Nope, the mourning is ever present even if deeper buried.
Thanks Lorry.
Hope all is well.
S**t news about Ken, hopefully he'll pull through with all faculties intact

[Lorry]

Yes. Thoughts are with him, but thankfully he is getting the help he needs, so bless the NHS too!read moreYes. Thoughts are with him, but thankfully he is getting the help he needs, so bless the NHS too!
All is well here, but buddy cold!
😃

[Poetic Beauty]

The loss of memory is in a way like a death itself and when the finality comes physically it is never truly expected and leaves a hole that resides and forever changes the world in which one lives. It leaves a hole that can be explained until you walk in that path.

[Gee]

Aye, they say you did a thousand times until.you actually do!
Thank you

[Poetic Beauty]

You are most welcome

[JessyJacob]

Dear Gee,
It takes brave heart, to write, you have written very well. i dont know how much costlier, but if I am you i would take her Kottakal ayurvedic treatment get her with therapies. dont think its last I feel women are more concerned about husband, and children and they do survive any illness. But sometimes seeing her sick, she loses hope, just we need to treat her as not sick and i would say i will keep her busy, Am i not talking more?
People live for years, together. People try to go only when it is difficult for them. But if we make mom more care, instead of outsiders.

Jessy Jacob.

[Gee]

Thank you Jessy J

[Betty Hermelee]

It's so difficult for any of us to prepare ourselves for the very end of life....even though we know it is coming closer; it is sad to watch a loved one wither away.... sometimes not even recognizing us... we wonder how we will exist without that special person in our lives... it surely it will be lonely and there will be much tidying up and paperwork to do...with all the knowledge of death, we still feel thst emptiness for years to come....very heartfelt piece Gee
Warmly, B

[Gee]

Thank you Betty.
Will pop in and return the favour.
Hope you are well

[Betty Hermelee]

always a pleasure Gee
warmly,B🌷🌷🌷