In the blink of an eye

Will be 3 years in August since Debs passed away.

In the blink of an eye three years have passed.
Life for those of us left behind to mourn your passing
moves on, albeit with your memory ever present
and the pain of missing you dulled but not gone.
When we meet, we, the mourners cum celebrants,
toast you, will always do so until we too are gone
to become ghosts and memories remembered by clinking glasses
and laughter filled stories.
Your shoes, far to big to be filled by another,
are now worn by his "companion" your polar opposite,
an uninvited imposter who makes little or no effort to integrate
thus alienating herself and at the same time,
bit by bit, isolating him, removing him from "the friend group" which saddens,
but not as much as him allowing this to happen.
They, the ladies in the know, say he is lonely,
cannot be on his own, needs company,
but is what we perceive as bad company better than loneliness,
I guess only he can answer that unasked question but never will
as her "suitability"only ever discussed in their absence.

We miss you, your smile, personality, infectious sense of fun,
the way you filled a room, regaled all with drink sodden tales.
We miss you greatly and perhaps if we continue to compare,
even if subconsciously, no other will ever be allowed in.

Reviews

[Poetic Beauty]

We all have those exceptional people that we encounter in life and they can not be replaced in our hearts once the person has departed this earth. We do however have room to allows others in and while it may not be the exceptional and unforgettable; they may enhance our lives but one never knows if we don’t try.

[Gee]

Thanks for dropping in PB

[Poetic Beauty]

You are welcome

[Philip Gaber]

Mmmm. "an uninvited imposter who makes little or no effort to integrate
thus alienating herself and at the same time,"
that is powerful.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

this is a heartbreaking piece, nevertheless, a beautiful elegy. i recently lost my mother and while she had none of those affable traits your friend had, 'the pain of missing [her has] dulled but not gone.'
i honestly think i'm ready to die now. i don't say this in a depressed way -- i don't mind living another hundred years -- but i feel like the last thing that tethered me to the earth has been cut.

[Gee]

Hi Ern, so sorry for your loss. My old mum passed in 2020. It was an honour to have one of my poems " A mothers passing" read during the service.
Thanks for dropping by

[Twilight]

It sounds mostly sad, but the symbolism rings through just as clearly and uniquely; with a lost loved one in mind. This isn't technically a poem in style, but still an emotional and interesting read.

[Gee]

Thanks.
Yeah, mostly sad but after the time lapsed since Deb passed coming properly to.terms with our loss.

[Twilight]

OK, I see.

[Lisasview]

Good morning Gee,
Yes,it is me...back to writing and reviewing...I have had a rather challenging year.
I wish I knew who Deb was? Did she leave a husband?... is that part of your story? Is he now remarried or with someone?...If so how horrible of this person to remove him from the friend group... I am sure he is lonely after losing her but to separate him from friends is not okay... And, again I do not know the story... I do see that her passing has really affected you and I am so sorry for that.
I know that as time goes by memories of great friends ~ loved ones grows less and less...We remember them when something occurs that brings the memory of them back. I know that pretty much everyday I think of my mother...Perhaps I am in the garden or cooking...and she pops back into my mind. I also have memories of several good friends that have died over the years...These memories are not as strong... They pop up at unexpected times..
Take care,
Lisa

[Gee]

Hi Lisa, hope you are well.
Apologies for the late thank you

[Lisasview]

No worries, we all get super busy...
I finally posted new poems... I think you might like Carousel or Circus...
Lisa

[Mirror]

I am sorry.... So sorry. At this point maybe, everyone knows best for ourselves. Yet, let our knowing not defile precious memories of the deceased. It is painful.

Your words reminds me how short and precious life is...not necessarily for ourselves but those that will miss us the most.

Just know you live their remaining lives. And this poem is her voice.

[Gee]

Thank you mirror

[emmajoygreen]

I remember reading your words and crying on the spot. Had loved and lost too many to list, the pain scars and almost poisons Self for a while.. the loss of a precious special person near dilutes something inside that never quite returns. Missing is what is sweet sorrow and never retrieving hurts like hell But, you have made.. created.. beauty out of a tragedy, dear sir - for self, your darlings and all who knew Deb. There is a poem - will find it for you, if I may.. has helped me/birth family/friends.

I Am Standing Upon The Seashore
Beautiful poem by Henry Van Dyke, sometimes attributed to Victor Hugo

[Gee]

Thank you for pointing me in the direction of that poem and apologies for the late reply/thank you

[Beccy]

This lovely tribute to your friend is tinged with a different kind of thought that often surfaces in such situations. Hard to know for sure without actually having known in person the people you talk about, but your words perfectly convey the mixture of emotion that churns in the mind and which fashioned these words.

Poetic beauty said that 'we do however have room to allow others in,' sometimes, as i personally know to be true, that is easier said than done.

Beccy. X

[Gee]

So much easier said than done when the person in question is everything Deb wasn't.
Thank you for dropping in to read and comment, you are very much appreciated.
Hope you are all well.

[Dara]

As we get older and live long enough, we must learn how to cope with friends and loved ones who pass on before us. This beautiful write in memory of your dear one touched my heart in a big way. Dealing with the empty feelings and the love they leave behind is immeasurable. I love each and every line. This one in particular stands out to me…”to become ghosts and memories remembered by clinking glasses
and laughter filled stories.” It’s a perfect way to describe how we can be remembered. I hope writing this helped ease you pain somehow. I know writing often works that way for me. Thank you for sharing!

[Gee]

Thank you Dara. Will be there years on 13 August, my wife's birthday, since Debs passed away. Still hard to believe she is gone:((
Hope you are well