Mirrors

Vanity is not a strong point, same goes for forgiveness

It has been nigh on sixty years
and although I'm with you daily, hourly,
I seek you out less and less
as seeing you is like seeing him,
and that I chose not to do fifty plus years ago
as abandonment, even then to a young child,
and more so now as a father,
was neither wanted nor understood.
I guess though this would have been worse
if all households not in the same boat,
many kids, mum, and strange men leaving
in the small hours, secretly, but not,
bad company seemingly better than none at all
for women whose self worth,
in their own eyes, worthless.

It has been nigh on sixty years
and, although not through choice,
I will see you later,
in shop windows, in puddles, passing cars,
perhaps leading me to reflect on what may have been...

Author's Note

Although this makes perfect sense to me it may not to you, if this the case please tell

Reviews

[William Michael Reeves]

This poem made me think of the tragedy I see everyday on the streets of my home. Girls wearing nothing but a bikini in the freezing rain. I mean freezing. They have an umbrella. The forces that drive them to pursue whatever need they have and tolerate the conditions that put them there are hard to wrap the mind around. I could hope that they are exploiting men and in the end are somehow wealthier for an experience that is just a memory now.

[Gee]

Hi WMR, apologies for only just seeing your comment. Thank you for both reading and reviewing.
Hope you are well

[William Michael Reeves]

That happens to me too and I feel bad. I think we all understand in the enormity of the cafe and our poetry. And this is just one site! More poetry than evil I hope.

[Lisasview]

Hi Gee,
I find it very interesting to read what your reviewers felt your poem is about..
For me it is someone checking back into their life and being glad of where they are now..
I find that the sadness is in the past but still remembered.
If I am completetely wrong please let me know..
Lisa

[Gee]

Thank you Lisa

[Lisasview]

You are most welcome!!

[Bee Oxford]

Hi Gee, This poem is very clever I enjoyed reading it a lot. I think I understood it but maybe i didn't as its a little unclear. The speaker is avoiding their own reflection because of all the things they regret and how much they look like their own parents? Am I right? It's very well done and either way I got something out of it.
Thanks for the reviews on my page!
-Bee

[Gee]

Thank you Bee

[Neville]

... sadly, this makes perfect sense to me .............. Neville

[Gee]

Sadly indeed :)
Thank you Neville

[Ada]

I guess most of had role models to show us how our role as either a parent or child should be but of course a lot of us wing it.

[Gee]

I'm glad that I had to sing it as I believe my own daughter has had a " better" dad this way.
Thank you Ada

[Tania Mo]

To me it felt like running away from oneself. A sad poem.

[Gee]

Not quite:) Looking at what I'm glad I did not become.
Thank you Tania

[M. J. Smith]

Raised by a single parent who never again sought male companionship, I learned self image is best studied in one's own eyes. Nobody else has the right to dictate how I see myself.
Doubt is human enough. And self review, if not taken to a point of obsession, is healthy. But do I spend too much time in regret? Validation can never be found in the arms of strangers.
Still, the point is taken and well conceived.
There is a sort of wisdom in these reflections. Might these have been my mother's invoiced thoughts when I was young? Much to think about...

[Gee]

I think I am a better father having not had a "role model" to follow, learn from, instead I have been he father to my daughter that I would have liked to have
raise me.
Thank you MJS

[M. J. Smith]

I took inspiration from characters as diverse as King Arthur and Charles Ingalls of the Little House books. Still,it was a steep learning curve. Especially with an autistic daughter. Thank you for your insight. And thank you for sharing your poems.

[JE Falcon]

Wow, such emotion connected to the abandonment, the mother and her flow of momentary hope. The child watching from a one-sided hallway. --- This was especially bad during WW-II, the PRE-Baby-Boomers, there were a lot of families torn apart for one reason or another. Mother's left with children, men who didn't want someone else's ready-made family. etc. --- That being said, this poem should touch anyone who can honestly say, "Been there, done that," and I'm stronger for it. --- Great work.

[Gee]

Thank you kindly

[Unspoken poet]

Makes me think of my realitives and how time flies since I have seen them,
this is really good.

[Gee]

Thank you kindly

[Beccy]

As the child grows to adulthood, the years fly by and circumstance changes; but everything we experience, especially I feel in childhood, is indelibly printed in our memory and cannot ever be entirely expunged.

Those last three lines are so very poignant.

Beccy.

[Gee]

I have a lot less "what iffs" these days : )
Hope you are all keeping well and are ready for crimbo.
As always thank you for reading and taking the time to comment.