As good a day as any for a funeral

Nothing else planned

99 times out of 100 I would have declined point blank,
as nothing worse in my book than being a "make weight,"
an afterthought, an arse to fill a seat
so that the deceased's "popularity" would not be compromised
and folk wouldnt, behind cupped hands in whispered tones,
glory in the poor turn out.
Today however was different, post Christmas blues different.
The festive "come down" coupled with "nothing planned"
leading me to gladly, "of course I'll come," accept,
this though to the detriment of any, all, feelings of self worth.
But when weighed up against another night in alone, the choice made itself,
as there would be little thought of anything once Johnny and Jack took hold.
I smiled at myself in the mirror.
Perfectly attired to mourn, to console, to parrrrrrrrrrrteeeeeeeeee.

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Love the conversational tone as the protagonist explains their reasoning for attending and the almost satirical ending is simply brilliant.

[Gee]

Thanks John.

[kitty]

Sometimes funerals dont always bear the same stigma. Been to many and all seem to be so different - some are a celebration of life while some - sombre. The one I wrote my pieces for was certainly a celebration of her life loved by all and a person of vim and vitality! Everything was so well thought out and effective. Back to your piece. Thank you for sharing,

[Gee]

Thank you for commenting Kitty.

[kitty]

You are welcome!

[Papaya]

:)
Free food and booze make it worth it I guess.

[Gee]

Indeed. Get in there and free load...yeahhhhhh.
Cheers Ana

[kentuck14]

As a kid I remember the so-called 'mourning' at the Irish-style wakes our extended family attended.
This poem touches on a topic most try to avoid: both funerals and our desire to stay away. You've handled this well, Gee. Thanks for the read.
Tom

[Gee]

Thanks for commenting Tom, much appreciated

[Beccy]

Given that the main attraction is the only one not giving a hoot about how many bums on seats there are, its a curious ritual is it not?

Last funeral I attended, (a distant uncle in Wales,) there were so many folk there I didn't know, it could have been odds on I was at the wrong venue. :))

Beccy.

[Gee]

There will be a few I attend just to make sure...
As for my own, I live close enough to the crem' for my wife to wheel me round there in a barrow and tip me at the entrance. The way I look at it, they ain't gonna leave me there decomposing and stinking the place out so hopefully they will chuck me, for free, into the oven just to clear up the mess :)

[MsJewel]

I had to chuckle at your honesty. Sometimes we do things because we "have to" not "want to". Hope Johnny and Jack got you through it. :) Julie

[Gee]

Hi Julie, thanks.

[barleygirl]

Johnny Walker & Jack Daniels I presume . . . I love the first half becuz of your stinging honesty about funeral attendance as it relates to popularity. I love the whole "seat warmer" sentiments . . . moving on to a grudging acceptance which felt a little too easy. You are a master at revealing our weaknesses & quirks & twisted motivations! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Gee]

You presume correctly m'dear :)
Funerals for many nowadays a chance to have a matter and get pisse d but only after trying to out wail the deceaseds nearest and dearest.
" your are a master... " might frame that :))
Hope you are well Margie.
Thank you

[Lorry]

Well you certainly hit the nail on the head wiyh this Gee. I have just returned from a funeral, where there was bouncers on the door taking everyones phones. I s**t uou not.
The reason became apparent at the eulogy, when it was pointed out that everyone pay their respects to someone for ten minutes without thinking the world would end if they didnt update their status. They hated the fact no one could visit without constant phone twiddling anf in general being an ignorant s**t.
The sister later told me that despite them having a great time, laughing and joking like it was a party in their honour, all of them were trying to turn it into their drama online. She then went on to post the real pictures of events, naming and shaming them all. It made my day.
Looks like some people dont do mourning now, which will make for an interesting day when their turn comes round...And these were family ffs! Just through me on the compost heap and save the pretence, say I.

[Gee]

What a great thing to do, nick the phones and enforce respect and chit chat.
I'm for the incinerator in the cheapest coffin possible.
I'm effing freezing and sniffing like a bloodhound :)
Cheers Lorry, hope you are well.

[Lorry]

Me too. I have left specific instructions in my will to scatter them where I wish them to be thrown.. In Simon Cowells eyes :)

[Chris Shaw]

Funerals I attend are more a celebration of the departed's life. I have to say I don't like going, but do so to pay my respects. True though, a time for a family reunion. Your lines made me smile. You write with black humour. That can actually be helpful at times like these. Good morning Gee. Hope all is good in your part of the world. Wrap up warm, it's chilly.

Chris

[Gee]

Good afternoon Christine, I'm laid up with man flu, feeling sorry for myself as us men do once we have the smallest ailment.
Thank you for reviewing.
Hope all is well in chilly Berks

[Chris Shaw]

Hope you feel better soon. Man flu makes it sound like a cold (lol). Anyway, it's not a good place to be. Yep it's chilly in Berks. TAKE CARE Gee.

Chris

[John the Baptist]

This one is a fine slice of black humor. To be able to look at the dark side with a cynical eye and still bring a smile to the face of all but the true prude requires a deft art. The part about Johnny and Jack was especially funny. Well done.

[Gee]

Thank you kindly, I'm chuffed you approve.
Good morning

[John the Baptist]

God, I love the English language! What, prithee, is chuffed?

[Gee]

A very tardy reply to your question, apologies. Chuffed means very pleased, glad, happy.
Hope you are well