The Pallbearer

Carrying heartbreak

At first I'd ask, want to know everything,
age, sex, how they died,
not now though.
Now I just do as I'm bid, what I'm paid for,
carry, place, respectfully nod, then leave.
I find it's easier that way,
don't take them home with me
to think about them, their lives
and the sadness they've left behind.
That is unless it's a wee one.
It's different then.
The small, pristine white wooden shrouds
adorned with soft toys, flowers, tears,
they always come home, are adopted for life,
making for fitful sleep, tossing, turning,
and solemn, sober reflection in the small hours.
The wife tells me I care too much, am too soft,
that despite my size I am more mother hen than pallbearer.
I guess she's right, she usually is.
I smile at this thought and try to switch off.

Author's Note

Just for the record I am not a pallbearer, just imagining the emotions they must go through or try to block out.

Reviews

[Norman 223]

Adapting to such an environment is not easy initially, as I learned when I became a Medical Photographer" and faced with post mortem investigations.
Switching off, " is not being callous, but is essential if you are not going to become a "casualty" yourself. Respect does not have to suffer, though.
Your poem expresses this beautifully.
Norman

[Gee]

Thank you Norman

[Lydia Shutter]

Hmmm....the life of a funeral director? I don't think someone can be too feeling...too empathetic. I know you said this is fiction, but I liked it. Good character study! Lydi**

[Gee]

Thanks Lydia

[Lilly]

"they always come home, are adopted for life" -- this hit me, I loved this whole piece but this line stood out.
Don't delete it! I think it's powerful and thought provoking and full of emotion.

[Gee]

Thanks Lilly

[barleygirl]

I get the feeling this is pure Gee from the heart. Not that you've been a pallbearer for a living, but that this softness of the heart you mention is drawn from a close spot which feels vulnerable & authentic. When you describe "not getting involved" (earlier) it reminds me of animal shelter volunteering . . . you can't get too attached . . . you express those sentiments so realistically! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Gee]

Thanks Margie, well keep the " soft" bit to ourselves :)
Hope you are well

[barleygirl]

This is the best winter in ten years . . . feeling much better than I have for a long time! *yippee!* I hope you are also doing well!

[Coyote Poetry]

Pallbearer for a child. Never easy. My sister lost her 8 year daughter. Hardest funeral I ever went to. Old folks suppose to die. Not the kids. Powerful use of words made the reader feel and understand the thoughts.
Coyote

[Gee]

Jeeez, I'm so sorry for your families loss.
Thanks for popping in Coyote.

[Coyote Poetry]

Was 14 years ago. Poor sister. Never came back right and you are welcome my friend.

[redzone]

no Gee, please don't delete... I understand your wife's concerns, she worries about you and the sadness it brings.... to both of you I say, the world needs MORE, not less empathy, MORE outpourings of grief and support for the ones dying and their families, not only for the young ones, but the older ones too... I think at times we are becoming a nation of dead faced, non-smiling, robots accepting or just going along silently.... if anything this poem in its own way helps change this just by showing artistically the internal conflict in your mind and heart....

[Gee]

Thanks for your kind words Red

[Lorry]

Nope, not for deletion. A wonderful write Gee, full of angles we know of but rarely see. We should all think more of those passing hearses and the lives in pain right now for what they have lost. It will be us one day. It is after all, the great leveller rich and poor share, knowing no price will stop it.
Thoughtful words my friend. We could all do well to think of.

[Gee]

Thanks Lorry, we'll see.
Just be one helluva job, day in, day out,
carrying the grief of others.
Hope all is well in the North Pole.

[Gee]

Just.....twat....must

[Lorry]

It is indeed. Its Friday and I dont need to cook, so all is well.
We're off to Aberdeen and they have takeaway pizza and chinese there, so the legend goes. Ive been like a puppy with its head out the car window all day. :)

[Gee]

How very cosmopolitan, it'll be electricity and hot, running water next :)

[Lorry]

Ha. Im not showing off, honest, but the heating works via an app, so its all toasty when I get home. If I remember to use the bloody thing :)