The Pallbearer

Carrying heartbreak

At first I'd ask, want to know everything,
age, sex, how they died,
not now though.
Now I just do as I'm bid, what I'm paid for,
carry, place, respectfully nod, then leave.
I find it's easier that way,
don't take them home with me
to think about them, their lives
and the sadness they've left behind.
That is unless it's a wee one.
It's different then.
The small, pristine white wooden shrouds
adorned with soft toys, flowers, tears,
they always come home, are adopted for life,
making for fitful sleep, tossing, turning,
and solemn, sober reflection in the small hours.
The wife tells me I care too much, am too soft,
that despite my size I am more mother hen than pallbearer.
I guess she's right, she usually is.
I smile at this thought and try to switch off.

Author's Note

Just for the record I am not a pallbearer, just imagining the emotions they must go through or try to block out.

Reviews

[Norman 223]

Adapting to such an environment is not easy initially, as I learned when I became a Medical Photographer" and faced with post mortem investigations.
Switching off, " is not being callous, but is essential if you are not going to become a "casualty" yourself. Respect does not have to suffer, though.
Your poem expresses this beautifully.
Norman

[Gee]

Thank you Norman

[Ken Simm.]

Respect I think is the first word. Respect in more ways than one. My ex wife worked in a hospice and she always said if you switch your feelings off completely you are not doing your job properly. This is very well written giving me insights and speaking truths I had not considered much. Excellent work.

[Gee]

Thank you kindly Ken. I'm fat to soft hearted to work with or around death on a daily basis, I'd be a blubbering wreck.

[Gee]

Fat...far, although after the over indulgences during the festive period perhaps fat was more apt :)

[john l smith]

An interesting presentation
I have never enjoyed the spit and polish of professionalism associated with the dying industry
Nicely written
(I think I have all that properly spelled)
Dave B

[Gee]

Lol, all correct ( I think!)
Thanks for dropping in.

[Eilis]

A really thoughtful character study, Gee. Sometimes I find it easier to write from someone else’s perspective because so much of the writing comes down to imagination. This is a great example of walking a mile in someone’s shoes- or reaching for that outside perspective.

I often think about medical personnel and police officers and the mental torture those jobs could be if the person isn’t able to separate a little in some way. I suppose it is necessary at some point to “do what I’m bid, what I’m paid for,” if they wish to maintain their own sanity. I praise the lot of those who work with the suffering, the dying, and the dead. I couldn’t do it, I don’t think, I’m not sure I’d have the psychological endurance. But, perhaps, as your poem works to show, in time a person can learn.

Great work here.

[Gee]

Hi Eilis, hats of to all folk who deal with death, injury/illness, not something I could do.
Thanks for reading and commenting

[augustus]

How sad! I hate funerals and I've made it clear to all concerned that I'm not going to my own! Somebody else can go in my place!!

[Gee]

Lol, not me. Cheers

[Chris Shaw]

A thoughtful write Gee. I guess in the main these people are trained to do their job and in most cases detach themselves from the personal details, but carry out their duties with professionalism. But they are human and cracks will appear. Young lives cut short before they have had a chance to find their wings will get through even the toughest character. Without a doubt they will feel it. I do. Good morning.

Chris

[Gee]

Hi Christine, I for one couldn't do it, far, far to soft.
Thank you

[Davidgeo]

"be the most reliable person at your father's funeral" - Jordan Peterson

I don't always like this guy but sometimes I love this guy... this poem reminded me of a small part of one of his lectures.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDcOuTdjq8E

[Gee]

Good morning David. Just watched a couple of snippets from you tube, like this fella. He definitely ain't out to make friends.
" be the most reliable person at your father's funeral" I like that. If I'd have know mine had died I'd have turned up just to make sure :))
Hope all is well with you.

[Davidgeo]

He can be kinda cunty, but tends to be very sound in his logic far more often than not. I'm a pretty huge fan of Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn's 'Gulag Archipelago' and Peterson constantly references it pretty intelligently so naturally I ended up reading and listening to him quite extensively. You should look into him yourself, he has a lot to offer in terms of common sense psychology.

[wordman]

always makes you wonder i guess,who and what,maybees and could bees

[Crowley]

I would rather be a mother hen and too soft than hard with a ice chip for a heart. Being a pall bearer for ones you know is hard, not sure how I would feel if it was someone I didn't know, but I am an emotional person so who knows. I really liked this, a story and a poem all in one wrapper, its a great thing when you can sum up that much of one mans life in such a short space. Great writing!

[Gee]

Thanks Crowley, chuffed you enjoyed the read

[Chris]

No ...it isn't. It is a fair depiction of life as we live it... quite for real.

[Gee]

Thanks for reading and commenting Chris.

[Neville]

fiction can still make some of us hard men shed a tear or two... and this damn it .. or rather these words, just goes to prove my point.. N

[Gee]

Thanks Neville :)

[Neville]

pleasure, kind of.. I think you know what I mean.. have a great Monday :)

[Gee]

You too...got a stinking cold :))

[Neville]

am just getting over one... a cold that is :)