Turkey, toys, boys and trouble.

Christmas day

This year she hopes that......

Granny has her nappy on
grandad doesn't fart,
uncle Tommy comes alone
and not with some old tart.
Mum lays off the vodka 'til
pudding's served and eaten,
dad doesn't get the hump
when at every game he's beaten.
Next door neighbours Fred and Maude
come fully dressed, not nude,
as last year fido bit his knob
mistaking it as food.
Little brother Bobby Ray
breaks down the closet door,
revealing that he likes the girls
but likes the boys much more.
And finally when crackers pulled
she hopes to get the toy,
( as these she's bought from Ann Summers )
as she still ain't got a boy !!

Author's Note

Well, what did you expect ??

Reviews

[Suzanne Sonderleigh]

This is hilarious! Captures perfectly the innermost family secrets in such a way that they probably love this poem. Bravo!

[Gee]

Glad you enjoyed. Thank you

[Carola]

hahaha!!! 😀 😆 🤣 what a fun read of a lively christmas celebration still yet to come. a droll & humerous story & lovely rhyme 👍
cheerio carola

[Gee]

Thanks Carola, a bit of festive "daft" from this time last year.

[Samuel Dickens]

Ha-ha! This Christmas is anything but boring. So, Fido bit the knob? Like you said, "Well, what did you expect?" Poor Fido, he just wanted a bite of sausage.

[Gee]

Cheers Sam. Happy New year

[john l smith]

Haha that is very funny
All the associated pains with the holiday season
Give your pooch a pat
Dave

[Gee]

Cheers....

[Paul Bell]

Isn't Christmas great.
It's the only time of the year that the United Nations peace force is called into play.
Usually, after it you say never again. But it's a tradition. Plus, a visit to Ann Summers is always fun.

[Gee]

Aye, can't do much worse than Ann S.
Cheers Paul, apologies for the delay in replying.

[NotUsinganymore]

Very funny poem. Too bad I don't have any family to celebrate besides close friends.

[Gee]

Thanks Junglee, apologies for taking so long to reply.

[NotUsinganymore]

It’s okay! I’ve been busy too with trips.

[wordman]

great story gee,this would make a great series

[Gee]

Cheers, appreciate you reading and commenting.

[wordman]

you`re welcome

[Tamara Beryl Latham]

This poem is not only rhythmic, but humorous. Your readers will consume every word in this verbal salad. Great job and keep posting. :-)

[Gee]

A simple salad. Thank you Tamara

[Tamara Beryl Latham]

An enjoyable one. :-)

[Neville]

Oh' boy.. thank goodness ya left me out... the dosh is where ya told me to leave it... now we're even yeah..

still chuckling .. N

[Gee]

Cousin Nev, 'im from out West
in trousers far to tight,
doesn't grab his bulge, ask the vicar wife
" fancy a sausage supper tonight"

The money saved ya !!!
Cheers Nev

[Neville]

Phew...... :)