For King and country

The glory of war !!!

On the first night he prayed to his God,
cried for his mother,
counted stars in the late December sky
as a hoarfrost coated him white.
Dawn brought fresh hope of discovery,
voices carried on still air lifting his spirits
but nobody came.
As day light faded into another dusk, then night,
he spoke with his dead father,
kissed his wife and children goodbye,
sat as a small boy on his mother's lap, loved, safe,
as she stroked his hair, humming him into eternal sleep.

They found him 2 days later in the crater of a shell,
eyes wide open, frozen.

Reviews

[Jade]

Oh wow! Such a memorizing image you have set here, so deep and makes one think. Awesome write

[Gee]

Thank you kindly ma'am :))

[Eilis]

This reminded me of the war poets/poetry that emerged as a result of WWI.

It is difficult to write about things like this because it is very easy to make it either too sentimental or too vitriolic. I thought your poem was excellent because it had a nice subtlety, and in its descriptive imagery almost lulled me into thinking it was some pastoral scene. It felt very balanced and that balance made the story that much more poignant. Like the soldier was telling it himself.

Lovely work.

[Gee]

Thank you kindly Eilis

[Lanny]

Wow! Powerful imagery generated by the emotive language of the desperation of the want to be discovered then juxtaposed against the images of loved ones and their unconditional love as the central figure in the poem passes into their arms, then juxtaposed once again with the starkness of lonely, icy death cradled in a shell crater, nicely effective.

All the best,

Lanny

[Gee]

Cheers Lanny, appreciate the review

[Lanny]

Glad to do it.

[barleygirl]

Lately I've been feeling sick about all the f*****g wars that go on & on . . . wars our gov't doesn't bother to tell us we're involved with until some humanitarian crisis develops like in Yemen or Syria, not to mention the daily mass shootings right here at home. Your highly caustic poem really delivers the kind of fist-punch I wish I could put into words to relieve the stress of so many tragedies. Your poem sounds about as jaded as I feel on this topic, which is why I can't bring myself to write about it. I'm proud of you for keeping this in our faces. You always pick a very original way to make everyday observations (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Gee]

There always seems an ulterior motive for the big boys starting on the kids, ownership or access to oil fields the main one in the last 20-30 years.
How your country has continued to allow so many f**k wits to own so many weapons is beyond the belief of most of us looking in. All you need to do now, as a nation, is to scrap motor vehicles and break out the horses !!!
Hi Margie, thanks, hope you are well.

[barleygirl]

Most of my life I was brainwashed into thinking this was the greatest country, but since the turn of the century I just haven't been seeing it . . . *sigh!*

[Gee]

Hmmmm, a fast waning super power with an orange panda at the helm. Still, could be worse, your President could be wearing wigs made from candy floss.....hold on a minute, he is :))))

[barleygirl]

Trump's exaggerated BS is a smokescreen for so much more prevailing rot at the helm . . .

[Gee]

I've never seen so many Mexican bricklayers work so fast or for such long hours just to keep 1 man from entering their country.

[barleygirl]

Thank you for secretly reminding me not to lose my sense of humor! *smile*

[Gee]

Lol, you getting down about it will change nowt, put a smile on your chops, sharpen your pencil and take the piss, rhyme styleeeeeeeee.....your forte m'lady :))))))

[The Iron Horseman]

I'm sure versions of this have been enacted on battlefields since time immemorial! Nicely done: poignant, touching and very emotive. Wouldn't it be nice if nobody had to die this way ever again?

[Gee]

It would indeed but sadly that ain't ever gonna happen :((
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment

[The Iron Horseman]

You are very welcome. And you are also right!

[Paul Bell]

The glory of war. What an epitaph.
The kill takes minutes. The waiting takes days, weeks. To much time for thinking.
Probably why military personnel have so many problems.
All heroes.

[Gee]

Seriously underpaid heroes.
Thanks Paul

[Paul Bell]

Definitely.

[LazerRays]

Wow.... This is kinda disturbing! I love that; it's so sad. Idk what happened to them, but it was terrible. It paints this picture for me of murder or disease... Hmm... Oh wait; I read your description. War. Sounds about right... Sigh. To be honest, I clicked on the title because it's the name of one of my fav bands and wasn't expecting this. It caught me off gaurd but it definitly impacted me. That's good. Nice job

[Gee]

Thank you for reading and commenting Sarah.

[Relic]

Generations have died in wars throughout history in the worst ways. Hope is a throw of the dice. The devil has been just as present as any God or spirit. Life seems to hold no favorites.

This is an emotional poem from you, Gee. Nice writing.

[Gee]

Cheers Relic, appreciate the visit

[Scott De Buitléi..]

Very powerful indeed, well done.

[Gee]

Thank you..