Cutting or counselling

Coping mechanisms

He saw me staring,
both of his fore arms scar latticed,
inch long, precision made,
perfectly angled scars.
I met his gaze, " what the f**k's all that ? "
He smiled.
Tom was a wee fella from Glasgow
not given to idle chit chat,
he turned up to work, did his bit,
then off, away home.
Today however was different.
He let out a sigh, looked down at the scars,
" Did this years ago, before cutting was fashionable " he paused,
looked at the scars.
" My wee boy was born not well, really ill,
hung on for 6 months or so, then the wee fella died.
They said I should go to counselling
but for me it was less painful to do this" he nodded at his arms,
"rather than talk to strangers.
Now they're all I have to remind me of him,
faded scars, though the one in here" he tapped his chest
" that one'll never fade... never "

Author's Note

Could go on but enough written I think.

Reviews

[LazerRays]

Wow.... This was really powerful. I like how you put "before cutting was fashionable" as a 15 year old in school- it's pathetic what people do for attention. Make up little pity tales and wear their cuts like gucci! It sickens me! Their own stupid pathetic bubble not knowing wha the real world is like. It makes me wanna give them a reason to actually cut if you know what I'm saying; just so they can understand the real life issues people face. This is a great heartbreaking story that makes me forget about the whole world and focus on this mans grief. Well written-

[Gee]

Thanks Sarah. For some, as you say, it's fashionable to cut, for many though it is their coping mechanism to see them through troubled times

[LazerRays]

I know. It is. I was saying how it's sad that some people fake it when tere are people like this who don't. :)

[emmajoy]

What a subtle write... telling how rather than merely stating what is part of today's self condemnation. Those in the so-called 'know', list various reasons for self-harm, number one being.. or was, a call for help with deep rooted pain: in this, your friend's loss of his 'wee man'. That loss, his wife's agony and his own.. he couldn't cure, couldnt erode, was beyond him. Too often, guilt needs a scar. And, you've expressed that or other agonies in such an empathic way, Gee. You too have a heart that won't ever forget.

[Gee]

As you can well imagine I'm an old softie :)
Thank you EmmaJ

[emmajoy]

Gee, no shame in admitting in 'softieness', empathy or whatrever else Real Caring means. Happy Sunday - enjoy the extra zzzzz!

[Chris Shaw]

This self harm, an instant release from pain. Hard to understand isn't it.?
Unless you have been in that position yourself how can you pass judgement? It's a coping strategy regardless of how distasteful that may seem. Topical subject Gee, well approached.

Chris

[Gee]

Hi Chris, actually had this conversation a little while back with the fella at work, have since become quite a good work buddy with him.
What was as sad as his tale was the matter of fact way he told it.
Hope you are well ma'am.
Thank you.

[Chris Shaw]

All OK Gee. Last few days of Brixham holiday. We have had a glorious week.

Chris

[Gee]

It's all right for you rich folk, I've been getting battered by Barratt Homes' senior management all week :((

[Chris Shaw]

Soon be the week-end Gee!

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

A great example of showing rather than telling, in this writing. Nothing more need be written. The inch long, precision made, perfectly angled scars convey the pain surpassing any physical pain in the world. It hits where it must.

[Gee]

Thank you kindly DDK

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

You’re most welcome ! 😺

[Paul Bell]

I suppose in a way, self-councilling to the extreme.
We all deal with death in different ways.
If the cutting helped, so be it.
I bet there are lots of people out there who relate to this.
Great write.

[Gee]

Cheers Paul, glad you approve

[Einstein Noodle]

some rationality to an otherwise ill state of health in cutting .. great story telling Gee .. easy flow...line breaks and quotes are dynamic .. not a thought of changing anything in reading ... i get a strong sense that this is a real person that has been in your life Gee .. it sounds as if he has healed and accepts the loss and grief he feels ... never does fade ... and as unlikely as it may seem initially... we are able to carry the load ... a marvelous thing we are able to love deeply :( i can feel his sorrow ..wouldn't change a thing .. so well done
E.

[Gee]

Thanks E.
The fella in question is a labourer on one of the sites I frequently visit.

[Einstein Noodle]

wishing him well Gee

[angel]

I understand. Never scarified myself, but I do have tattoos, made when I was in my early 20s. One, a large peace sign above my right wrist, I do not regret. One other, the Beatles logo on the back of my hand, I also would keep. Another two bear the name of an old girlfriend (don't ask--long story, I'll tell it sometime--and one has my initials. On the right bicep, the name JOHN .When I did the peace sign, tattoos were only seen on women in the circus. Now so many have them, but I was among the first.
I get why people do this stuff, is my point.
Sometimes a hurt is good, and there is the resulting mark, tattoo or scar, that you will see every time you look down, reminding you of the time you got/did it, and why.
I sort of regret the girlfriend's name, but what can I do...I look down and know NOT to do it again.

[Gee]

Thanks Angel

[Mrudula Rani]

Some people don't know how to pour out the pain that holds their heart hostage... and human race has the privilege of language! Your sensitive mind has the wonderful power of observation. Heart wrenching poem, Gee. Hope you are enjoying the beautiful autumn season. Uma abraço.

[Gee]

Thank you Mrudula. All well here thanks, albeit a bit to cold for my liking.
Hope you and the family are well :))

[Mrudula Rani]

I wish you could send some of your cold weather for us here. Summer is 2 months away, already we are feeling its effects. Uma abraço grande para vocês dois ( a big hug for you two).

[Papaya]

I feel that lump in my throat and chest.
Sad. Self harm is away of redirecting the pain.
But some pain never goes away.

[Gee]

Aye, it was sad listening to him.
Thank you Ana

[Lorry]

Wise words Gee. We should all realise that what we think rarely tallies with the actual events, but we are so quick to judge.
The scars visible are rarely the full picture. Its the unseen scars of the mind that are the real headline.
Well written my friend.

[Gee]

Morning Lorry, cheers. Hope you and the Arfur, Marfa bear are ok :))