An Indian Summer

Open mind please..non pc

The 27th half wit of the day approached, smiling,

" can't believe how hot it is, can you. It's 73 degrees " he said before continuing,

" It's an Indian summer, that's what it's called at this time of the year when it gets warm again, an Indian summer " he smiled, chuffed at this jewel of information.

I smiled back. " why? "

"Huh" he grunted, perplexed at the question.

" why is it called an Indian summer, and how many days must this weather hold for it to be considered thus ? "

"Bus ? My grandad drives a bus, a big red f****r in London, a double decker. He takes all of the foreigners sight seeing, you know, Buckingham Palace, Downing Street, Houses of Parliament, Hard Rock Cafe. He said it's mainly Japs these days, with a few chinks, but hardly any darkies or Arabs. He reckons it's all to do with that Al Keeda fella. You know, him that goes around choppin' people's heads off and blowing things up. Now, I ain't being funny but you would've thought they might have nicked him by now, I mean, he must have to catch a plane to get round all of the places he gets up to no good in, so you would've thought they might be keeping an eye out at passport control. Can't be that many men called Al Keeda can there. "

As I went to reply, he set off chopsing again.

" Mind you, there's plenty of Browns, Smiths, Greens over here, perhaps Keeda is a popular surname where all of them terrorists come from, might be thousands of the little fuckers. Yep, that must be it, can't be any other explanation can there, makes sense when you think about it. Anyway, can't stand chatting all day, got a meeting to attend, annual Chief of Police seminar.
You take care".

and with that he was gone.

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

Highly amusing... but also kinda depressing because there is truth underlying it. It's a little hyperbolic but there is, or was, a high profile police chief in Arizona named Joe Arpaio who this could apply too in a frighteningly accurate way. Well done.

"My grandad drives a thus".... what's a thus? Is that a British slang thing or did you mean bus? After coming accross the "Al Keeda" reference it occured to me you're purposefully using the vernacular of a stupid person but that doesn't work for "thus" - "bus" like it does for "Al-Qaeda" - "Al Keeda".

[Gee]

I hadn't even noticed I'd typed thus, of course I should have typed bus ( I am a prick).Will attend to this forthwith.
Hope all is well in your neck of the wooods, a wee bit breezy here, autumn has arrived.

[Davidgeo]

I forgot to mention... thanks for introducing me to the word 'chopsing'. I can't wait to confuse my American friends and family with that later.

Autumn has unfortunately made it's presence known accross the pond as well. Let the seasonal unpleasantness begin... I hope it's light winter for you guys over there.

[Gee]

Fingers crossed. I really do not like the cold, can never get enough layers on. Working outside and with an iPad is no good to me at all, feels like my fingers are gonna fall off. I should really man up but at 56 I think my man up days are well behind me, now I just grizzle like a girl.

[Davidgeo]

Yeah, the cold completely sucks balls unless you're doing something cool like climbing or snowmobiling. I'm starting to agree with your thoughts on manning up... its starting to seem extremely overrated and I'm only 36. By the time I turn 40 I'd probably be willing to wear a dress and ten pounds of lipstick if it made the weather beautiful.

[Gee]

F**k, just had to delete , best start again

[Gee]

Right, I can lend you both. What colour are your peepers as I don't want either the lippie or frock clashing.

[Davidgeo]

That's might generous of you... I've been out of lipstick for days. My eyes are hazel in the morning but they turn dark brown in the evening so I'm in need of a shade that goes with both. Ugh, I'm so terribly high maintenance...

[Gee]

Jeez I'm glad I turned down your marriage proposal. It would never have worked

[cheyenne summer garcia]

kinda humorous
enjoyed this passage

[Gee]

Cheers....

[barleygirl]

We don't have Indian Summers over here . . . not allowed . . . we can only have Native American Summers *wink! wink!* I honestly do not get your s**t, but I love it just the same! I get the feeling there's a connection between the un-PC-ness of your title and the later screed about various ethnicities & proclivities. All I know is that, with constant tragedies worldwide, we gotta lighten up or die (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Gee]

LOL, I'd imagine there are folk over here who read me and are either puzzled or think that I'm some kinda raving loony.
Hope you are well.
Thank you

[barleygirl]

I got a new computer yesterday & I'll get a new satellite dish & modem on Monday. That'll make this a lot more fun! *smile*

[angel]

Hilarious, I loved this! Sounds like my husband and father in law, who are both sort of, well, idiots, I'm afraid.
They are Trump supporters--would you have guessed?
They say things like, "No, all Arabs aren't terrorists, but all terrorists are Arabs,"

[Gee]

Good morning.Thank you Angel.
Kinda gets tiresome having to think whether or not what you write will upset folk.

[angel]

I don't worry about it.
I upset a guy with my Donald and Melania piece last night. It's o.k. He seemed to get over it; if not...oh, well.
If you worry about what every person will think, you'll lose your true voice in your writing.

[Vivian Gospel]

There are some prize klutzes in every city. Your writing is like someone i read before but cant remember now.

As for indian summers, i am looking forward to one next year when i will be going to kerala with my friends for a retreat. I hope march wouldnt be as unkind.

[Gee]

Here's hoping you have a great time. Thanks for commenting

[Lorry]

Never saw that coming Gee.only 27 halfwits? So, before lunchtime then? I think Kevin Bridges said it best "You know when a racist automatically assumes everyone else they talk to is like them." Best keep your face on screensaver mode and leave asap :)

[Gee]

Some folk will read this and assume that , can't odds that. Happy in this skin of mine and got no preference for any other no matter what colour.....but you know that.
Times have changed and it gets tiresome constantly worrying about folk of differing ethnicity looking for a reason to whine. No chips on my shoulders can't say the same for many others though.
Cheers Lorry, hope all is well in sunny Scotland.

[Lorry]

My gripe is the new additions to miss, mrs or ms. The latest is womxn, and no, that aint my s****y spellink. I dont mind what they call themself, but I aint playing. I am done learnifying new finks. :)

[Gee]

On the plus side, there's less in front now than behind us , so less time to be miserable old grinches :)

[Lorry]

Which is why we need to make the most of it while we can :)

[Gee]

Indeed.....

[Chris Shaw]

Humour and ignorance combined can make entertaining reading Gee. Smiling at this one :))

Chris

[Gee]

Hi Christine, thank you.

[Coyote Poetry]

A wonderful story shared my dear friend. Here in Michigan, a Indian Summer. 80 degrees yesterday. I liked the warm days in the Fall. More days for the kids to be able to play. Thank you for sharing the amazing story.
Coyote

[Gee]

Thank you for both enjoying and commenting

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my dear friend.

[Papaya]

Brilliant.
Need I say more?

[Gee]

Thank you. Never sure as how to this type of writing will be received. Those that read this not "knowing" me will no doubt leave tut tutting.

[Papaya]

Nevermind those people.
They're too serious for their own good.

[Gee]

Whoring myself here but you may enjoy ...Sausages, Tacos and Rhubarb Gin, another one that's a wee bit different :)

[Papaya]

I will check it out!

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha i am chuckling Mr. tongue in cheek of the day! :) i just shake me nog and walk away ...idiots of all kinds abound ... i'm glad you say the hell with pc ... people need sarcasm and humor in the "real" of life says i! ...
E.

[Gee]

Cheers. I reign myself in quite a bit when writing as people will have me taped for the words I write rather than for the person I really am. Saying that until you meet folk a few times you never really know what makes them tick.
Glad you approve E, hopefully a few others will.

[angel]

Let loose, Gee! If you've been censoring yourself, censor no more!
I just can't do it. Some people take exception to things I say, but it doesn't bother me.
As Old Blue Eyes famously sang, "I gotta be me"!