Coffee, cold feet and shivers.

The changing seasons

This morning the air carries chills and not bird song,
grey skies sit heavy overhead,
and daylight is diluted on nature's palette
by drizzle that is carried on a brisk, northerly wind.
Through half closed, horizontal blinds,
crab apples can be seen littering drives and pathways
as trees give up their fuit bounty,
fruit that has gorged on the heat of a seldom seen summer,
becoming blushed, weighty,
too weighty to be any longer held.
Up and down the street lawns parched and brown
show the first signs of verdant rebirth,
this setting me to wondering as to whether the mower
may be needed one more time before Jack's first visit.
A visit that will see all dusted white,
the ground and autumns' last, crisp underfoot,
and me searching for gloves, scarves,
and heavy, warmer, winter clothing.
Over at number 7, Sandra's, in glazed, pastel coloured terracotta pots,
summer has wilted and died.
Shingle filled borders are littered with her late spring toils,
when planting, weeding, feeding was order of the day,
and she welcomed the first signs of warm sunshine with too short shorts,
and a loose fitting, low cut top,
that had her panacotta breasts spilling forth with every move,
and had my wife informing me about its suitability for gardening,
her word less subtle though,
with " tits " not referring to the species of small songbird.
Walking to the kitchen I begin making mental notes of jobs to be done,
these to be finished before my self enforced hibernation.
Paint the fence, stow the furniture,
restock the wood store and ready the fire pit,
mend the back gate, the list seems endless.
I sigh as the kettle clicks off.
Like many days to come,
today's coffee will be taken with cold feet and shivers,
the warmth of the mug being welcomed as much, if not more,
than the contents.

Author's Note

Hmmm, ain't to sure about this one. Any suggestions, critiques to improve, apart from deleting, welcomed.

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Gee, i love these 'still life' portraits of poems as they provide a snap shot of something tangible and like a snap shot provide the reader with enough detail and feel as seeing through the lens of a photographer. If I am to comment at all I think it gets lost in the description of lily a little and the 10th line should be 'too weighty to be any longer held.'

[Gee]

Thank you John. Kinda agree with you, needs a bit of tinkering with.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

insanely descriptive, i really like it...the only suggestion and maybe it is just me, but using exact names might pigeonhole the poem into being just about one specific person and situation and make it harder for others to relate to the same instance described.
but i really think the story is so well detailed...kind of felt like i was there.
j.

[Gee]

Hi Jacob, chuffed to bits that you enjoyed the read. I've taken on board what you mentioned about " Sandra" and have consigned her to deleted heaven.
Hope you are well.
Thank you

[kentuck14]

Gee,
This is a wonderful poem, so full of life it shimmers! I'm looking through the blinds with you.
Of course I turn away when the neighbor lady appears!!
"tits" as in . . . well . . . and not the type of bird . . . Great stuff! I guess I'll have to look up 'panacotta.'
Can't see how I'd improve it. Please do not delete. I'm gonna put it in my library. Thanks for sharing.
Tom

[Dara]

I love the way you include the simple details of a late summer day which made them seem all the more important. That is the way life should be seen, I think. Those seeming insignificant things make up the fabric of life. I chuckled to myself at the sight of the neighbor in her short shorts and low cut top. I can relate however am smart enough to know to what NOT to wear when gardening, lol. A great write and a keeper for me!

[Gee]

Thank you Dara

[CD Campbell]

As someone who just put the cover on the pool with a beer in the hand and a tear in the eye, I can relate. I thought it was well written, humerous, descriptive. If I were to offer any possible change it would be to drop the formal stanza structure and have it look more like prose. Its just a thought and not a criticism. Good work. CD

[Gee]

Cheers, I will look at doing that

[john l smith]

Would not like to see this deleted
Well of course, one can't see a delete!!
I personally like a bit more rhyme but that doesn't mean much
Sounds very similar to our autumn which has greened up our dry forest
Nice write with lots of description
John

[Gee]

Cheers John. Got to say when I landed on this site a few years ago everything I wrote was rhyming, but gradually I have tried to expand my writing and have enjoyed doing so.
Thank you for both reading and commenting John, always appreciated.

[Ken Simm.]

As good a description of the arrival of Autumn that I've seen. So no critiques or suggestions of any of it. Other than I really like it.

[Gee]

And now I shall retire :))
Thank you Ken, hope all is well worth of the border.

[Gee]

North.....you had me all a fluster Mr Simm

[Beccy]

A better depiction of the arrival of Autumn, would be hard to find. Each line is brilliantly descriptive lines, and the characterization of Lily at number 7 is superb and adds just the right dash of humor.

'the warmth of the mug being welcomed as much, if not more,
than the contents.' A perfect ending.

Beccy.

[Gee]

Glad you enjoyed Beccy, thank you.

[Wild Rose]

Wish I lived in your house to watch Sandra at number 7 her saddle bags and bouncing tits > Enough to waken/warm certain of my parts

We used washing up water to keep the patio pots moist (Tell Sandra - she may let you help and get a closer view)
Aye our list of jobs to do looks impossible to complete >>> Best get on with it

[Gee]

Chuckling here. Have started on the list today.
Cheers

[angel]

Oh, dear, no! But this is beautiful.
Don't tell your wife I said this, but she does need, evidently, to appreciate the fact that men are hard-wired to zoom in on...let's call them 'boobies' (not the large, blue-footed birds).
It's good for a woman to realize that when a man looks at another woman, it has nothing to do with any deficit in his mate; it has, in fact, nothing to do with HER at all. It's just a fact; men like boobies, and if they're visible, a guy is going to look!
Anyhow, there are gorgeous images here, and your free spirited (I'm guessing) neighbor's description is one of the loveliest.

[Gee]

Thank you kindly ma'am, appreciate your time in reviewing