Just to be loved

All anybody wants is to be loved

When done, finished, he cried,
held her, begged forgiveness
and made the same drunken promises.
He would stop drinking, seek help,
be a better father and husband....she hated him.
Hated him with every fibre of her body,
every breath,
but she hated herself more, so much more,
feeling cowardly, weak, pathetic, helpless,
these feelings and self loathing growing with each rape,
and every bruise.
Tomorrow though, as with all of the previous tomorrow's
she would soften, remember the "old " him,
the polite, gentle, kind man that she fell in love with.
The man that promised to love her, cherish her,
keep her safe,
all of this music to the ears of an abused child.
An abused child who wanted nothing more than to be loved,
feel wanted, safe, normal.

Instead, if her father were not dead he could be him.

Reviews

[Ken Simm.]

So relatable from the child's point of view. These are strong words. I hope they educate.

[Gee]

Thanks Ken.
Hope you are well and Betfair for the festive.....Cheers

[Amund Schofield]

I like everything except the first line. It's just a tad bit repetitive. Life you're going for that, ok, but otherwise I'd look at rewriting it.

[Gee]

Please feel free to rewrite as I'm always open to help from my peers.
Thank you

[Toto James]

Emotional and very good..love it

[Gee]

Thank you, how is Dorothy ??

[angel]

So the cycle of abuse continues. My da was great, but my stepdad was abusive, as was my mother. I hung on to my da and he would encourage me, love me, and make sure my heart wasn't discouraged. He made sure my self esteem never died, and, though he's gone now, I never forgot my own self worth.
My heart aches for those trapped in this life.

[Gee]

Yep, gotta be at peace with yourself, love yourself even. A really good friend was abused sexually by her father but still speaks glowingly of him. Me, I'd want to cut his dick off.
Good morning Angel. Thank you

[angel]

Good morning, Gee. You're welcome!

[LazerRays]

what a heart tugging poem... i truly felt the emotions you breathed into this. the anger and the remembrance and the desperate holding onto what he used to be. what a very tragic and true poem
-sarah

[Gee]

Thank you Sarah

[θεά]

Daddy issues and the unhealthy pattern of a purely toxic, co-dependent relationship. This is a stunningly raw and uncoated write of verity.

As always Gee, you are powerful in your penmanship! Cheers.
M.

[Gee]

Thank you kindly, I try ( Am trying according to the good lady wife !)
Hope you are well.

[θεά ]

Been alive and kicking, thanks. How have you been?

[Gee]

All is well thanks, to busy at work, not enough carpenters in this world, I think many are put off by what happened to Jesus. Saying that, I have a few in my charge that get me crucified on a regular basis.
Home life is great, 25 years married on October the 1st, and the daughter is studying hard before embarking on a career as...we'll see.

[θεά ]

My best wishes to the daughter! May she do well. And choose wisely.

[Gee]

Thank you. Fingers crossed. She's a beautiful young lady, a credit to get mother and grandmother, a joy to be around

[θεά ]

I am sure she is. The apple never falls far from the tree.

[Avelina Devi]

So here is my not that great review lol, we all want to be loved and those that are abused more so. We aren't all like the ones who hurt others. Its hard to break away from an abusing relationship. What they don't realize is they deserve much better. It's a heart breaking write.

[Gee]

Thank you. Folk do deserve a decent life, to be treated well, fairly, to be loved, but so many never get this.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Yes, the chainsaw cycle of ‘abuse-self abuse-abuse’ destroys and perpetuates destruction- all mangled in the merciless teeth of the blade. Jacob’s incredible analysis and review says it all and wrll. Gee, your poem is written in truth and blood. The raw, graphic words and imagery speak for the voiceless victims. As Jacob writes, “Abuse ...is murder of spirit and soul.” And it is. Kudos.

[Gee]

Thank you Annette

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow. intense piece here...those who are abused by parents, then are abused by others after, feeling that is just par for the course...that that is what they deserve because they themselves are to blame...and while that is never the truth..there is still that guilt that ends up falling on the wrong shoulders and in the wrong bed.
Abuse to me is worse than murder...and in a sense, well, it is murder of spirit and soul.
j.

[Gee]

I'm with you Jacob. For me the worst betrayal is that of parents, especially father on daughter.
read moreI'm with you Jacob. For me the worst betrayal is that of parents, especially father on daughter.
Thank you, hope all is well stateside

[barleygirl]

This is an exquisite job of juxtaposing the present (sad) realities with the past (sad) childhood. It's so true the way some abused people end up picking someone who is just like the abuser. I've done it myself. We don't think we deserve any better & you pegged all those twisted motivations, creating a message with many deep levels. You are quite admirable in the way you can go from totally irreverent to incredibly understanding (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Gee]

Your review and approval mean a great deal to me on this one.Thank you Margie