JESUS SAVES...

A conversation with a sandwich board wearing preacher.

The sandwich board around his neck read, JESUS SAVES

" Scuse me mate, yep, you. SAVED, your board should read, Jesus saved, not saves "

He looked at me blankly.

" He's dead, popped his clogs 2000 odd years ago, can't be saves, must be saved....past tense. "

Before he could answer I continued.

" And if he is saving, which, in my book he isn't because he's dead, what is it he is ? "

" Eh, he is what ? "

" Saving, what is it he is saving ? "

" Our soul "

" Oy, steady, no need for that , I'm only asking "

" No need for what ? "

" Calling me an arse hole "

" Our soul. I said our soul not arse hole "

" Oh, ok. So what is he saving our souls from ? "

Before he could answer two old ladies approached dressed in matching tweed ensembles, and smelling of lavender.

" Excuse me " the shorter, more rotund of the two said to the sandwich board man, " Could you please tell me where we might find a public toilet. It's just that Maisie ( she pointed at her friend ) has got a weak bladder, and if we don't find one shortly she'll be having an accident. The doctor puts it down to her not having done her pelvic floor exercises after having her 15 kids, that, and the fact she's recently had a prolapsed womb....it actually fell out whilst she was hanging her Arthur's smalls on the washing line."

" Jean, he doesn't need to know that " said the taller, thinner one.

" Anyway " the small round one continued, " I told her to ease it back in with a shoe horn, and then get Arthur to run her down to A&E. The same thing happened to my..." Sandwich board man interrupted.

" It's just down there on the left, next to I C Clearly, the opticians " he said curtly.

" Thank you" they said in unison before heading off through the bustling crowd.

Having now lost the impetus, the wish to continue our conversation, I turned to leave, but couldn't help myself.

" Just one more thing. You and your JESUS SAVING preaching is pretty much like sticking all of your money into a bank"

" Why ? "

" Because neither of them will attract much interest " I chuckled to myself.

Before he could answer I bid him a good day, and turned on my heels to leave, but not before being informed by a now agitated sandwich board man, that ducks cough.......well that's what it sounded like to me !!

Author's Note

Forgive me.......

Reviews

[Simone Davis]

Is this a true story.... I'm pleased this man has some faith....better to believe in something then nothing at all!

[Gee]

A true story, no not at all, just me being mischievous. And if mischief is up your street you may like to read " The Preacher Man"
Thank you for taking the time to comment

[Rodric A Johnson]

I forgive you! I discovered this as a new member here. This was witty and irreverent, to say the least. The points that you bring up in the conversational style are valid points for which any sane person would want to know the answer. I kept waiting for the sandwich board guy to answer, but the banter with the two women frustrated the situation making it rather awkward after a moment. The last jab at the end let the true nature out of the sandwich board man.

The story reveals that we don't have all the answers. Sometimes, that is the answer. It seems that this can be a scene from a cautionary tale. If there is going to be more, I would read it. I do believe I will be reading more of your writing.

[Gee]

Thank you my son :))
Welcome to the cafe, enjoy.
Thank you for having a read and commenting

[Papaya]

:) our soul (LOL)

gee wizz, so clever and funny you are!

[Kichu]

I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. Very funny yet still insightful and spiritual. Will read more of your works soon.

[Gee]

Thank you...

[Davidgeo]

I really like your conversational style of writing poetry. It's like a discourse and far more relatable because of it.

Plato would be impressed with your form.

[Gee]

Good morning. Takes a lot less effort to post this guff than to have to think trying to rhyme. Saying that, I'm glad you approve.
Hope you are well

[Davidgeo]

Rhyming is overrated anyway.

[Mrudula Rani]

You said, that you scribble before going off to work. That handsome head of yours is always brilliant, dear Gee. Some times very profound as well. Loved every word.

[Gee]

You’ll have me blushing :)
Thank you Mrudula, always appreciate your kind words.
Hope all is well

[Mrudula Rani]

Your poetry is always exceptionally good, Gee. All is well here. Hope the same with you.

[Beccy]

Both well and enjoying the weather. Three weeks to go then summer hols. Already trying to plan stuff to keep Charlie occupied; though I have flat refused to take him on a journey up the Amazon, (thanks some bright spark at school for that one.) He'll have to settle for Thorpe park and a few other close to home adventures; though we are off to Fuerteventura for a couple of weeks with my sister and her two girls.

[Gee]

Here's wishing you a great holiday and all the best in keeping the young fella amused for 6 weeks.read moreHere's wishing you a great holiday and all the best in keeping the young fella amused for 6 weeks.
Take care :)

[Beccy]

Nothing to forgive; witty and great fun to read. :))

Beccy.

[Gee]

Thank you Beccy.
Hope you are both well.

[Island Hippy]

Aloha, this is gold, really crack up funny! Love the characters and the exchange is just brilliant! I admire a person that can write something that is so funny but very very clever as well! The oldies in matching tweed smelling of lavender .... loved that image. Mahalo.

[Gee]

Well hello and good morning. Hope you and the family are well, beautiful picture.
Thank you kindly for both trading and commenting.

[Gee]

reading.......

[Island Hippy]

You’re welcome Gee, we’re plodding along just fine. You and Mrs Gee are looking rather dapper! Thanks for the laugh Gee, glad to find that somethings don’t change around here.

[Gee]

Guess I’m part of the fixtures and fitting now :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing tale shared dear friend. Real life give us reasons to write. A wild tale written. Thank you for sharing your always entertaining work.
Coyote

[Gee]

Thank you Coyote.
Hope all is well in the land of Donald T

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome. All is good and I hope you are doing well.