Remnants of happy

Seperation

All that I kept were memories
and the misery of parting.
You, you added the "y" to ours,
magpie like collected all that glittered,
bubble wrapped, boxed it,
then left me with nothing
but the echo of a slamming door
and heartbreak for company.
Yet still I love you,
cradling nightly your pillow captured scent
as tears wash me into fitful sleep.....

Reviews

[DiskartetHaraya]

My comment is so nit-picky I am almost too embarrassed to submit it. Keyword: almost.

Since adding "'y' to ours" is detail-oriented, it's inconsistent to leave "cradling nightly your pillow captured scent" as is. I think a "-" would go nicely between "pillow" and "captured". Happy nit-picking to me.

Otherwise, good heartbreak poem. Man, I hate heartbreak poems. I don't usually read them.

[Gee]

Thank you...

[AYVID N]

Your words beautifully and completely capture the essence of a heartbreak. Yet perhaps, the hope of something better ahead, may help us go on.

[Gee]

Thank you Divya

[AYVID N]

You are most welcome!

[andrew mitchell]

You captured the moments well of a not so happy ending.nice touch Gee

[Gee]

Cheers mate

[Norbanus]

Hardly a poem found here on this site,
relays us its message so strong and so bright.
Time melts our sadness more gently than now.
Tears fade tomorrow as God will allow.

I'll not go picking the nits in this rhyme
We'll seek better meter at some other time.
For now, my friend, let me compliment you
for the beautiful poems and message you do.

Left with the echo of a slamming door
This verse returns it and oh, so much more.

[Gee]

You're good, thank you

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

It’s like a death when love is lost. Your poem exactly captures the bitterness, sadness, emptiness, that rips a hole in one’s existence. Upside- one appreciates the good things one has so much more. Well-penned Gee!

[Gee]

One of our good friend is actually going to grief counselling to cope with the break up of her marriage. Personally I think the money would be better spent on getting someone to give her ex a good beating, but hey, that's just me. He's being a proper prick...Thank you Annette

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Been there, done that, learned better, moved on....You’re very welcome Gee!

[Susan 🦋]

Oh boy..The pain hits me like a brick here. Too raw not to be written from the heart.hugs.

[Gee]

At present watching a good friend go through a messy divorce. Me, I'm 24 years ecstatically married. Thank you for the RR, very much appreciated

[Susan 🦋]

I see. Life huh? A constant balance.

[Joey Nizz]

This writing is filled with raw emotions, true feelings.

This was well written.

[Gee]

Thanks for having a read and commenting Joey, appreciated

[Joey Nizz]

Your very much welcome, its always nice to a talented work :)

[Great Aunt Astri]

You have put across the misery of loss and separation very succinctly. There are many who must identify with this poem. Well penned.

[Gee]

Thank you kindly Auntie

[Great Aunt Astri]

You are welcome.

[emmajoy]

Truth or otherwise, these words weep tragedy. Breaking up hurts and leaves such terrible marks, scars.. blood raw they are. Activity followed by absence.. terrible. The emotions in your poem truly hits home, memories, reminders.. tears ..

Finely written sadness .

[Gee]

Thankfully not true for me. Hope you are well EmmaJ, thank you.

[emmajoy]

Rarely read other's reviews but had noticed either Neville's or another's. Other people's experiences really hit home sometimes.. makes a being realise how lucky life is for him or her; maybe makes for more efforts on the sharing side of life. :)

[Gee]

If only everybody thought that way...

[emmajoy]

True, far too true..

[Neville]

I have been there & done it, I even had the tee shirt but she darn well went & burn't it. 1976 it was. I still think of her often and she features anonymously in many of the pages here....wish I had penned these words though, lovely...Neville

[Gee]

Luckily not written from experience. Cheers Neville

[Neville]

My pleasure entirely.........