Shattered dreams on bloodied sheets

Just another notch on the bedpost

She succumbed to perfected charm
from a honey coated tongue,
each lie to her a beautiful truth
by the louche, pitch perfect sung.

He knew another notch was carved,
the fourth glass of wine his knife,
a small room booked in a small hotel
where she'd dream of being his wife.

She gave the thing she most held dear
early mornings light brought shame,
her virginity lost to a would be Prince
him now a frog without a name.

Her shattered dreams and fairy tales
on the sheets in blood loud said,
" the frog he bought your innocence
with cheap words and cheaper red "

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I'm not sure if the blood on the sheets comes from giving up her virginity, or if there is something more sinister going on in this small motel room!?!?! Either way, it makes for a spooky sparking of the reader's imagination. Your writing is well-done with good rhyme & rhythm & vivid metaphors. This makes for an intense warning about giving away any of our tender parts to some near-stranger in the night! I like the way this can be interpreted in a number of ways.

[Gee]

Thank you Miss B

[emmajoy]

Ouch! Finely used language, thoughts concise, sad irony here and there. ' Impure' poetry but emotional, absolutely. Is that a parent speaking, I wonder?

Trouble is if this was read to girls of certain ages. they'd probably snigger/giggle because, like every generation they know everything.

Those two last lines are as raw as can be but - brilliant.

[Gee]

Parent and a many moons ago drunken womaniser....
What goes around.
Thank you Emma

[SJ Mullins]

Wow! I find it a bit sad. I do know all about shattered dreams, but I have found that every experience makes us who we are. We learn from our suffering. It can make us better or bitter. It is all in how we respond to the situation. Incredible write.

[Gee]

Thank you, so many " lost " virginities aided and abetted by drink.

[SJ Mullins]

You're welcome. It is very sad indeed!

[Relic]

A perfect example of a young girl with her head in the clouds. There are too many like her but that's a section of life that will never change.

Nice one Gee.

[Gee]

Cheers.....

[Stacy Purvis]

Oh, wow. You see, and this is exactly why a girl must be careful and prudent, modest in choices.
This is such an excellent read.
Thank you for sharing : )

[Gee]

Thank you Anastasia

[Coyote Poetry]

Those frogs are many. Few real princes.
"She gave the thing she most held dear
early mornings light brought shame,
her virginity lost to a would be Prince
him now a frog without a name. "
The above lines. Place known by many lassies seeking the perfect prince. Thank you my friend for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Gee]

Thank you kindly sir

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my dear friend.

[Einstein Noodle]

the bane of all dads with young ladies as their children ... no one walks away from such circumstances without harm :( i like your voice in this one Gee ... tho all my children are flown the coop i am compelled to sharpen my ax and load up my 45 ;)
E.

[Gee]

I was the louche ( small time, drunken womanisers) am now the father of a 16 year old daughter which now highlights how inappropriate my behaviour was. Thank you kindly for commenting

[Einstein Noodle]

its that brutal honesty we can all learn form Gee ... as her dad, you have gone through "your god" stage, "teacher stage", and she, at 16 means you are now in the "enforcer stage" ;{ .... i am a single dad who raised teo boys and two girls... no one will ever have proof that boys are harder to work with ... you are in my official prayers along with my older daughter who is in the "enforcer years" ... heavy sigh! good luck!!! :)
ps. great word by the way ...i love the language!

[Gee]

Again thank you

[Lorry]

More proof, if it were required, that the sexes may as well be from Mars and Venus for the distance between our thinking. One dreams of giving, the other of taking. No, wait a minute...(We're not coming out of this one well Gee) I'm sure we have good qualities too, just can't think of any right now. :)

[Gee]

Jeez, I was a proper knob with the women. Now coming home to roost as I have a 16 year old daughter....cheers Nemo