Twelve Shoes

A slow walk with pallbearers.

Black filled the pews
not one head raised
each bowed as if in prayer,
twelve shoes
six steps in unison
slow bore their reason there.

Down aged flags
that echoed loud
off stone and ancient glass,
these men of death
clad dark as night
heartbroken lines did pass.

As footsteps stilled
amazing Grace
through oaken beams soared high,
grief seared the cheeks
washed broken hearts
that questioned only "Why"

Then silence reigned
the air hung still
lost love they gently laid,
twelve shoes they bowed
then took their leave
having last respects thus paid.

RIP Ray Board
A true gentleman

Author's Note

Dipping a toe in the solemn, been a while. If any ideas to improve feel free, I'm always willing to learn. Thank you
2nd stanza to be changed perhaps
Flags are flagstones, slabs of stone

Reviews

[Ruth]

This is elegant and emotional, both of which really give the reader a feeling of the situation, I remember such a feeling at my Dad's funeral, so this resonates, is more than just a poem, it has an energy, beautifully done Gee...

[Gee]

Thank you Poppy, I'm flattered

[Centipedle]

It's a very refreshing style. Not one I've read before. I really enjoyed how you put everything so keep up the good work. I hope to read more!

[Gee]

It's simple rhyming mostly. Thanks

[Lyn Anderson]

Somber, beautiful, and by my estimation, although certainly not the authority, not a word out of place. Sometimes less is more, and the image of the "twelve shoes" is very powerful.

[Gee]

Cheers, am very happy that you enjoyed.

[Valentine]

I like the idea of this and the write. Well done. Valentine

[Gee]

Thank you kindly

[Lydia Shutter]

The pall bearers march with the casket....you described the scene eloquently. Dark, but well written. LydI**

[Gee]

Thank you Lydia

[horizon]

It is nice...I can't explain in words what I feel it certainly different...

[Gee]

It's simple like it's author.Cheers

[.]

Very nice, Gee. You certainly hit the solemn note with this one.

It is a very atmospheric write; that last journey of the deceased, carried on the shoulders of his/her pallbearers.

I can't see anything that needs improvement. It stands well on its own.

Another fine piece of writing.

[Gee]

Cheers Doodley, will perhaps leave well alone

[Philip Muls]

A lot of symbolism, rites and rituals when we see off the death. You capture the solemnity well.

[Gee]

Thank you Philip

[wordman]

a part of society we wish to over look i guess,touching write

[Gee]

Cheers WM, appreciate the review

[aLittlePain]

Very sad you've captured the feeling with somber but deeply vivid imagery. Nicely done Gee. R x

[Gee]

Cheers Rach, appreciate you reading and commenting