Twelve Shoes

A slow walk with pallbearers.

Black filled the pews
not one head raised
each bowed as if in prayer,
twelve shoes
six steps in unison
slow bore their reason there.

Down aged flags
that echoed loud
off stone and ancient glass,
these men of death
clad dark as night
heartbroken lines did pass.

As footsteps stilled
amazing Grace
through oaken beams soared high,
grief seared the cheeks
washed broken hearts
that questioned only "Why"

Then silence reigned
the air hung still
lost love they gently laid,
twelve shoes they bowed
then took their leave
having last respects thus paid.

RIP Ray Board
A true gentleman

Author's Note

Dipping a toe in the solemn, been a while. If any ideas to improve feel free, I'm always willing to learn. Thank you
2nd stanza to be changed perhaps
Flags are flagstones, slabs of stone

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

A second visit Gee. Fine words to remember a true gentleman. It also happens to be the third anniversary of my mum’s passing today, so it seemed appropriate to stop by. Have a good weekend.

Chris

[Gee]

Thank you Christine. My how those 3 years have flown by.
In memory of your mum(and mine) I will put " A mothers passing " on my page for today:)
Hope you are well. Take care

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you. I have a new post as well.

[Poetic Beauty]

The final moments of saying goodbye to a dear friend is tough and heavy on the heart. The last ne about 12 black shoes definitely stands out and brings attention to the solemn tone

[Gee]

Thank you for taking the time, appreciated.

[Micaelia]

I really like this poem, it is very simplistic, but expresses everything you wanted to say brilliantly, and the metaphor with the shoes is especially fascinating.

[Gee]

Thank you Micaelia, your comments are very much appreciated

[Chris Shaw]

Full of imagery. You took me there and I was in one of those pews. Sad, but oh, so respectful Gee. Beautifully done.

Chris

[Gee]

Good morning Christine, hope you are well. Thank you

[Terry L & Linda L Shuff]

Very well written perfect form,progression and artful escorting readers through the ritual. A keeper

[Gee]

Hi Terry. Thank you

[Terry L & Linda L Shuff]

Your Quite Welcome

[Ranger Kessel]

I'm glad I got the time to like your rhyme. Don't want to be rude, but you are one bad dude. Thanks for posting this. I am glad I read it.

[Gee]

Thank you RK

[ROXANE DORSEY]

ah, amazing grace. the sweetest songs for me & my. thanks for the lovely poem.

[Gee]

Thank you,,,

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Stunning stage setting for the cold, dark poetic imagery of the dirge-like walk of the "Twelve Shoes". I can hear their mournful footsteps on the flags. Great form, flow, funereal cadence. Sad, emotional, they lay their friend down. This is a haunting, beautiful good-bye.

[Gee]

Thank you Annette

[The Ink Chapters]

absolutely amazing work! Well written, beautiful words and rhyming scheme. No criticisms here that was awesome!

[Gee]

Thank you..

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed solemn Gee but captures the essence of such a sad occasion so well. The opening line is a killer!

[Gee]

Thanks John, I quite enjoyed scribbling this one