Twelve Shoes

A slow walk with pallbearers...off to a funeral today

Black filled the pews
not one head raised
each bowed as if in prayer,
twelve shoes
six steps in unison
slow bore their reason there.

Down aged flags
that echoed loud
off stone and ancient glass,
these men of death
clad dark as night
heartbroken lines did pass.

As footsteps stilled
amazing Grace
through oaken beams soared high,
grief seared the cheeks
washed broken hearts
that questioned only "Why"

Then silence reigned
the air hung still
lost love they gently laid,
twelve shoes they bowed
then took their leave
having last respects thus paid.

RIP Ray Board
A true gentleman

Author's Note

Dipping a toe in the solemn, been a while. If any ideas to improve feel free, I'm always willing to learn. Thank you
2nd stanza to be changed perhaps
Flags are flagstones, slabs of stone

Reviews

[Micaelia]

I really like this poem, it is very simplistic, but expresses everything you wanted to say brilliantly, and the metaphor with the shoes is especially fascinating.

[Gee]

Thank you Micaelia, your comments are very much appreciated

[Chris Shaw]

Full of imagery. You took me there and I was in one of those pews. Sad, but oh, so respectful Gee. Beautifully done.

Chris

[Gee]

Good morning Christine, hope you are well. Thank you

[Terry L & Linda L Shuff]

Very well written perfect form,progression and artful escorting readers through the ritual. A keeper

[Gee]

Hi Terry. Thank you

[Terry L & Linda L Shuff]

Your Quite Welcome

[Ranger Kessel]

I'm glad I got the time to like your rhyme. Don't want to be rude, but you are one bad dude. Thanks for posting this. I am glad I read it.

[Gee]

Thank you RK

[ROXANE DORSEY]

ah, amazing grace. the sweetest songs for me & my. thanks for the lovely poem.

[Gee]

Thank you,,,

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Stunning stage setting for the cold, dark poetic imagery of the dirge-like walk of the "Twelve Shoes". I can hear their mournful footsteps on the flags. Great form, flow, funereal cadence. Sad, emotional, they lay their friend down. This is a haunting, beautiful good-bye.

[Gee]

Thank you Annette

[The Ink Chapters]

absolutely amazing work! Well written, beautiful words and rhyming scheme. No criticisms here that was awesome!

[Gee]

Thank you..

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed solemn Gee but captures the essence of such a sad occasion so well. The opening line is a killer!

[Gee]

Thanks John, I quite enjoyed scribbling this one

[Molly Anna]

This is very deep. The vein of sadness flows through each line here.
Very melancholy.
The poem demonstrates a traditional 'last rites' sort of ceremony. However, I don't see any hope written...was that on purpose?
Is there none to give? Is the last thing we can really do is pay our last respects, and then ask a simple why? before going on with the rest of our lives?
Don't get me wrong, you did a marvelous job with this poem, and the emotions are very real, and very true, I'm just wondering if the picture you've painted is a 'limited version of something bigger', or reality.

[Gee]

Not a religious bone in my body so death for me is final, either worm food or ashes. Two other poems with hope and celebration of life are, " Give me to the summers breeze" and " A mothers passing"
Thank you kindly for the RR

[Katseye]

you paint the scene well...I like it just as you've written it.

[Gee]

Thank you..